Lorelei of the Rhine
by Doombolt
Summary: Asuka and Rei both want Shinji as more than a friend, but what does HE want? Chapter 18 deleted because it was lame. Story is dead, sorry.
1. First Movement

**A/N:** **If this is your first time reading Lorelei, don't be discouraged by how short and uneventful this chapter is. Please continue reading; you can trust me when I say it becomes much more interesting. :P**

Shinji leaned back in his desk, uncomfortable after such a long lecture. The bell rang, telling everyone it was finally lunch time. Toji laughed in happiness, like he usually did once lunch came around. Kensuke walked to Shinji's desk and stood over him.

"Time to eat, eh, Shinji? You want to go up to the roof today?"

"Ya, sure." Shinji woodenly got up from his desk after putting his laptop away. "Let me go grab my lunch. I'll meet you guys up there."

Shinji shouldered his backpack as he walked out of the classroom. He caught a glimpse of Asuka's brilliant red hair as she turned a corner in the hall. She wasn't being herself today. That morning, she had left early without eating any breakfast, but she showed up late to school. What had she been up to?

_Maybe I should talk to her about it. I hope she's not having more problems. I hate to see her so depressed. I feel so helpless when she's like this._

He grabbed his lunch out of his locker and headed for the roof. It was a wonderful day once he got outside. The sky was cloudless, and the blue seemed to expand forever upward. Toji and Kensuke were laughing over a joke; a perverted one, Shinji guessed. Probably about Misato, too. He just didn't get why those two thought Misato was such a goddess. She was a slob, and a drunkard, not a queen.

"Nice of you to show up, Shinji. What took you so long?"

Shinji shrugged and started unpacking his food.

Toji leaned toward him. "Oh, I get it. You and Asuka were kissing under the stairs, weren't you?" He and Kensuke laughed.

"What? No, of course not! Why would you think we were doing that? Plus, why would Asuka want to kiss me?"

A smirk grew in Toji's face. "It's not like we don't know, Shinji," he said tauntingly. "You have a thing for Asuka!"

Shinji's face grew hot and red, partly from embarrassment and partly from anger. "It's not like that at all, Toji!" He looked at the ground. After a few moments, he asked, "Why, does it seem like I have feelings for her?"

"Come on, Shinji," Kensuke said. "We see you looking at her during gym class. We know you two live together."

"We live together because Misato makes us! She says that Eva pilots need to be friends a-and need to understand each other if they are to be effective in battle. Believe me, if she was allowed, Asuka would move out on her own in an instant. She doesn't enjoy living with an idiot like me, you know."

Toji and Kensuke munched on their food, weighing his words. He just stood there with his sandwich in hand, gazing up into the blue.

_Is what they're telling me true? Do I have feelings for Asuka?_

Shinji took a bite, but didn't taste anything.

_That can't be. She's never been nice to me. She's never shown any sign of liking me at all._

"Shinji, we're going to be late. Let's go!"

Shinji looked around, snapping out of thought, and saw his friends had already headed for the stairs. The bell had rung, telling them to get to class, but he hadn't heard anything.

_When we get home after school, I'll talk to Asuka about her behavior. I'll ask her if she's having any problems. Maybe then I can get this whole thing off my mind._

He walked down the stairs, leaving the blue behind, and hurried to class.


	2. Second Movement

Asuka walked a few feet in front of Shinji as they made their way back to the apartment. She studied the ground the entire while, like the secret to life eternal was held in the pavement. Shinji didn't say anything, but instead kept a worried visage painted on his face. Asuka just wasn't herself today. She had barely made any cruel remarks to anyone in class, and only yelled once the entire day. She hadn't even talked to Shinji as of yet.

The sun was sinking low into the horizon by the time the two got home. Misato was working late that night, so they came back to an empty and cold house. Shinji went to his room to put away his backpack, as did Asuka. They both went into the kitchen once they were settled, ready for the evening meal.

"Just my luck: it's Misato's turn to cook tonight," Shinji said to himself. "I guess I'll be cooking again."

Shinji started to cook the dinner. Asuka sat at the table and stared into nothing, as if the secret to happiness was locked somewhere inside it.

Shinji glanced nervously at her. _ I better ask her what's going on_.

"Um, Asuka…"

She rose from her seat of a sudden, walked to the refrigerator, and grabbed a beer from inside. She sat back down and popped open the top. Fizz spilled down the side of the can and onto her hand. She grabbed a napkin to swab up the mess, but licked the beer running off her fingers first. Shinji reddened at this, though he didn't understand why.

"Hey, Asuka, you know you can't drink yet. It's illegal."

Taking a swig, she shrugged. "It's not like anyone really cares. And what would they do to me anyway? I'm an Eva pilot. They need me."

Shinji turned back to his cooking without any good response to that. It was true. What could they do to her? They couldn't send her to jail or anything like that. She was too important for that kind of stuff.

"Is everything alright, Asuka? You didn't seem like yourself today."

"Why the hell should you care, idiot?" Asuka took another swig from the can. "And what if everything wasn't alright? What could you do about it?"

"Um, well, if something _was_ wrong, then I could talk to you about it." He dumped a few cut-up carrots into the pot. Some of the boiling water inside splashed out and hit his bare arm. He gave a little yelp and recoiled his arm.

"You can't even cook without hurting yourself, what makes you think that you could help someone else without hurting them?"

Shinji stared at Asuka with a look of hurt on his face. And she stared right back, cold as a corpse. He finally broke away his gaze and went back to cooking.

The two didn't say anything during dinner, and Asuka went right to her room after she was done eating. Shinji cleaned the dishes and tidied up the table, then went to his own room. He grabbed his Walkman and sat down on his bed. He leaned against the wall and began listening to Bach's Cello Suite #1. The Prelude was what he had been trying to learn to play recently. He had to take it slow, though. It was a very complex piece, and it took time to learn. Asuka had complimented him on his playing a few weeks earlier, and that had really pushed him forward, but he didn't feel like he had gotten anywhere since then.

Shinji thought about what Asuka had said earlier. The words still stung, and he fought to keep back tears from welling up in his eyes. Even though, his vision clouded all the same. Could he help someone without hurting them at the same time? Could he comfort another without hurting himself?


	3. Third Movement

Shinji listened to the Prelude for almost an hour, going through one small section at a time, trying to memorize the patterns he knew were in the music. Through the blackness in his room, a stream of light suddenly poured in through his partly open door. It stung Shinji's eyes for a moment, but he soon got used to the small amount of brightness that had been introduced to his haven. A figure blocked the light for a moment as it ran past, long hair flying behind it. Asuka ran for the bathroom.

Shinji paused the music and strained to listen. He heard the toilet seat hit as it was slammed upwards. He got up and took off his headphones, and rushed to the bathroom.

"Asuka!"

The second child was heaving out her dinner into the toilet, wretched spasms rocking her frame. Shinji hurried behind her and swept the hair out of her face. He held it there as the minutes passed. Finally she regained her composure, to an extent, and was able to stop vomiting.

"Asuka, what happened?"

"Uhng...I need to lay down…" Asuka moaned. Shinji grabbed a towel and wiped some of the dinner they had off of her mouth, and helped her to her feet. She wasn't able to stand by herself, and clung to him for support.

Shinji's room was closest, so he started to guide her there. Her feet moved like they were made of lead, and she kept tripping over herself. With some difficulty, Shinji was eventually able to lead Asuka into his room, and lay her on his bed. He put the sheets over her, and sat on the floor, leaning back on his bed. Though it was only a short journey, the whole ordeal had drained Shinji. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back.

Asuka reached out and placed her hand on his head, intertwining her fingers in his short hair. Shinji stiffened and his eyes widened, surprised by the contact. Asuka ran her fingers through his hair for a few moments, but then moved her hand down, tracing a line across Shinji's neck, and finally across to cup his left cheek.

"Asuka…" Shinji whispered, nervously. Why was she doing this? She was probably toying with him again. That was it; she was just toying with him. Even though, Shinji was glad for the darkness or Asuka might have seen his scarlet cheeks. "Is everything all right?" he asked.

"I just drank a little bit too much. That's all."

"I said you shouldn't drink." Asuka didn't reply. "Why'd you do it anyway?" Silence came for an answer. Moments passed with Shinji looking into the darkness of his room, and Asuka's hand caressing his cheek.

"When I was a little girl," Asuka began, "and Eva Unit 02 was just being completed in Germany, there was an accident at the lab. My mother was part of the team of scientists experimenting on the Eva that day. She got put in an asylum after that. The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. They said they couldn't do anything to help her condition." Asuka fought to keep control over her voice, though it still came out shaky. "My mother got a doll from somewhere in the hospital. It had red hair, like mine. She started to think that the damn doll was actually me. She would talk to it like it was me, but when I went to visit her, she spoke to me like I was a complete stranger." Asuka clenched her hand on Shinji's face, pressing her fingernails into his skin. She didn't seem to notice. "On the day I was selected to pilot Eva, I ran to my mother's room to tell her the good news. I opened the door to her room to find her hanging from the ceiling. She killed herself, Shinji. She even hanged the doll she thought was me."

Moments of silence passed with Asuka's fingernails digging into Shinji's face. Blood welled up on her fingertips, and began making rivulets down Shinji's face and neck. He was too stunned to do anything but clench his teeth to stop from writhing in pain. If Asuka had to hurt him to get all this pain off her chest, then he was fine with it.

"On that day, I promised myself I would never cry again. I promised to live by myself, and to be strong. I had to take care of myself after my mother killed herself. My father remarried shortly after the death of my mother. It turned out he was having an affair with the doctor that was taking care of her.

"I never liked my step-mother. She was kind to me, but I could never love her. I still can't. She calls every now and then, just to check up on me, but that's the only contact I have with her."

Asuka finally noticed she was tearing Shinji's cheek open, and recoiled in surprise. Blood rolled down from Shinji's neck onto his shirt, and then down his chest. Asuka took her hand back. "You should have told me I was hurting you, idiot."

"I'll go get a towel," Shinji said quietly as he got up and went to the bathroom. He searched around for a good towel, one that wouldn't get stained from the blood. A dark blue one seemed to work well enough, and so he took it back to his room, pressed up against his face.

He cleaned off his wounds as best he could, and handed the towel to Asuka. She sat up, wiped her hand clean and gave it back. Once again she flopped down onto the bed as if she had no energy left in her body.

"Your shirt is stained. You better take it off before the blood smears everywhere."

Shinji looked at Asuka through the darkness. He saw she wasn't smirking or grinning at him, so at least she wasn't being sarcastic again. So he turned his back to the bed and took his shirt off. He laid it over the back of his desk chair, deciding he would take care of it in the morning. Before he could get another shirt, Asuka spoke.

"Can I sleep here tonight? I don't think I should get up and move to my room."

"Oh, um…o-ok. I can sleep in the living room."

"What's the point in sleeping on the floor when you can sleep in a bed?" Asuka asked.

"Well, I just thought that you wouldn't want me sleeping in your bed…"

"I wasn't talking about my bed. Why don't you sleep with me tonight?"


	4. Fourth Movement

Shinji stiffened in surprise and took a step back. "W-w-what?" He couldn't believe what Asuka was getting at. Why such a change of heart? When had she ever taken an interest in him?

He stood there in a dumb trance, not knowing what to do or say.

"Your bed is big enough for the both of us anyway. Why not?" Asuka began taking off her shirt, and threw it to the floor. "What, are you scared? You won't get anywhere in life being a coward, Shinji." She slid her pants off, throwing them to the floor as well. She had plain white underwear on, and a matching bra. Nothing special or flashy.

But Shinji just couldn't believe his eyes. There was no way that this was happening to a spineless wimp like him. It just couldn't be!

And yet, here was Asuka, almost naked, in his bed and wanting him to join her. He tried to say something, but the words didn't come out. He floundered in his mind, trying to compose rational thought. He moved his mouth, but still nothing. He waved around his hands, but that did little. Asuka noticed he was having trouble comprehending what was happening.

"Alright third child, this is what you should do. Are you listening?"

Shinji nodded his head.

"All you have to do is take your pants off and get under the sheets. Is that so hard?"

Shinji nodded again.

"Am I going to have to get up and help you?"

Shinji shook his head and tensed up in embarrassment. "N-no, I can d-do it." He turned his back to the bed again in a desperate attempt to not seem deathly nervous. He fumbled with his zipper for a few moments, but it finally slid down. Thankfully the button on his pants was a snap, so he didn't have much trouble undoing that. Shinji let his pants fall to the ground, and stepped out of them. He turned around to see a smiling Asuka.

"Good! Now come over here." Asuka motioned with one finger for Shinji to come, and moved up against the wall, supporting herself on one arm.

Shinji walked to the bed and sat down, back to Asuka, red burning his face. His hands began to shake with nervousness.

"No, you have to get _in_ the bed. Don't you know anything?"

"S-sorry, it's just that…I'm pretty nervous."

"Oh, _mein Liebling. Mein reizender kleiner Liebling_. There is nothing at all to be nervous about," Asuka purred. She delicately stroked the back of Shinji's head, then traced a line down his back with her fingers. "Now please. Come to me."

Shinji was almost frantic. _I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away!_ He turned to face Asuka, pulled the sheets over himself, and moved in to kiss her.

A faint beep was heard within the house, and then the quick sliding sound of an automatic door. "I'm home!" resounded in the darkness.

"Shit! it's Misato! Get your pants on, Shinji!" Asuka pushed him away and grabbed for her own clothes. "_Mach schnell, Krüppel!"_

Shinji jumped out of the bed and grabbed for his pants, quickly putting them on but he only bothered to button them. He grabbed for his shirt, but saw it still had blood on it. He hastily scanned the room for another shirt to put on, but none were to be found. Shinji threw the bloodied shirt on, hoping he could explain it to Misato.

"Why are all the lights off?" Misato called. "Are you guys home?"

Shinji turned to see Asuka with her shirt on, and stuffing her pants down into the bed. She turned her back to Shinji. "I'll act like I'm asleep," she whispered, lying down and pulling the sheets up to her chin. "You better get us outta this mess, Shinji!" And she was silent.

A light tap was heard at the closed door. "Shinji, I'm coming in, alright?"

The door slid open. Misato saw Asuka in the bed, and Shinji standing by his desk. A scowl darkened her face.

Shinji quickly moved up to her. "Shhh…Asuka's asleep. I'll explain in the kitchen." He led Misato the kitchen, flicked on the light, and sat down. Misato grabbed a beer from the fridge, and popped it open.

"So what's going on here, Shinji?"

"Well, Misato…I guess I didn't cook the food long enough, or it was rotten or something, because after dinner, Asuka puked it all up. I helped her get feeling a little better, and since my bedroom was closest, we moved her in there. I told her to go to sleep. I had been waiting in the room in case she had to go to the bathroom again, so I could help her. That's when you got home."

"And what's this blood all over your shirt?"

"Oh, this?" Shinji laughed nervously. "I was…playing with Pen-Pen shortly after I finished dinner. He…got mad at me for something and scratched my face." He showed Misato the marks. "It's nothing, really. I'm fine."

"Ah hah," Misato said. She gave Shinji a skeptical look and downed the beer. "Oooo-ya! That's good stuff! Well Shinji, you better get to bed. You have a sync test tomorrow, and we don't want you falling asleep during the experiment."

"Yes ma'am." He got up from his seat and started for the living room. "I'll just sleep on the floor tonight. Good night, Misato."

Misato went to her room and changed into her pajamas, hanging up her uniform in the closet. She waited for half an hour, and then went to Asuka's room. As she had thought she would find, there were six beer cans lying on the floor. She grumbled and began picking up the cans. Bad food indeed.


	5. Prelude

"And so Second Impact occurred. Half the world's population was destroyed, while the skeletons of former nations fought for dominance in the new world."

The teacher droned on about the results of Second Impact; how the landscape was remade, how civil war almost annihilated all of humanity, how a new coalition of superpowers was created to stop the senseless killing.

Rei already knew about the Second Impact, however. She knew the huge government cover-up that took place, disguising the awakening of Adam as an impact from a meteor. She had been told this much by Commander Ikari and Dr. Akagi. The knowledge did little for her, and she had no desire to further investigate the happenings in Antarctica.

_The past is gone, the now is bleak, and the future is uncertain. But that same uncertainty is what fuels man to survive. It carries him into the darkness on silent wings, bringing him to a fate yet unknown._

Rei glanced to the front of the room, only to see the teacher still reading from his little book. She saw Shinji stretch and try to suppress a yawn.

_Ikari seems to be tired. The sync test must have drained him._

The truth was that the test had drained all three children. Dr. Akagi had pushed them so hard that they all had been on the brink of mental contamination. Rei had barely gotten home when she fell asleep, still in her uniform. The Magi had secured valuable data, however. These experiments were necessary to keep the Evangelion updated; they were necessary to keep man safe from his aggressors.

Rei tapped a key on her laptop. The screen blinked for a moment, then displayed her desktop. She opened up her daily planner that she kept, and clicked the current day. A physics test awaited her tomorrow, as well as quiz on the writings of Nathaniel Hawthorne. That man had no talent for writing, Rei believed. His stories were all so pointless. His writing style put her to sleep, truth be told; why did the man feel the need to do things like describe a plain sitting chair for well over two pages?

Rei's eye's widened for a moment. She was surprised.

_I'll surely fail the physics test I have tomorrow if I do not seek help. But not from the teacher; he's the reason I know not of the material._

She thought of who to seek out for assistance.

_Not Asuka. She'll be of no help at all._

_Not Commander Ikari or Fuyutski. They are both too busy._

_Dr. Akagi is also too busy._

_Misato surely wouldn't be able to help me._

Shinji covered his mouth with his hand, yawning into it. As Rei remembered, he had some experience with physics, and was at the top of the class, save Asuka. Shinji would work nicely as an aid.

The bell rang, telling the students it was time to leave and go home. They slowly filed out, talking with each other, laughing, smiling, joking. They were like cattle, like dolls. The bell rings, and they obey. They know nothing else. They would be helpless without it.

Asuka saw Rei gazing at the door. The second child stood, looking at her with a frown. She sniffed rather loudly, and stalked out of the room.

Aida was bidding Ikari a good night when Rei approached him. Kensuke waved to them both and began his walk home.

"Ikari, may I ask a favor of you?"

"Sure, Ayanami. What it is?"

Rei checked to see if the teacher was still in the room; thankfully, he had left already. "Our teacher has no skill in explaining physics. You are quite skilled in those studies; would you help me study for the test tomorrow?"

"Of course, I'd be happy to. Um, where do you want to go?"

"My apartment would be best. The school is closing soon, and Asuka would not enjoy me being at your apartment."

"O-ok. Well, is that…alright with you?" Shinji averted his eyes as red spots flared up on his cheeks.

Rei didn't have the slightest clue as to why it wouldn't be. She nodded her affirmation and led the way out of the classroom.

The two left the school and worked their way across town. They took a train for most of the way, but the sun had almost set at the beginning of the ride.

Rei sat next to Ikari. They hadn't talked since they left the school, and the silence formed a cocoon around them. It isolated them from the rest of the hectic world; it sheltered them from all the horrid things that were happening out beyond their joint solitude.

Rei studied Ikari from the corner of her eye. He did not look as much a child as he did when Sachiel attacked NERV. His jaw seemed more angular; his eyes seemed to shine with a certain maturity, maturity only gained after one had fought for his life and the lives of others.

"Is something wrong, Ayanami?"

Her eyes went wide; she had turned to face Ikari full on while she was thinking of him. She hadn't realized she moved at all. She felt her face heating up, for reasons unknown to her. And so she said nothing, but turned back to stare out the opposite window.

The train arrived at its station, and the two pilots made their journey to Rei's apartment. The decrepit buildings surrounding her home were the remnants of a younger Tokyo-3. These were the tenements that were abandoned once people migrated to the city, where it was safer. The familiar _clang _of the deconstruction equipment sounded in its regular, monotonic pattern. Rei was used to the sound, but she could see that Ikari still found it scratched at his nerves.

Rei had not planned to have Ikari come home with her, so she had not set out a table or chairs for them to study at. Come to think of it, she owned neither chairs nor a table. Her bed would have to do.

Ikari took his physics book from his backpack and turned to the current chapter. Rei got her homework from her own backpack. She had no clue as to how any of the equations worked, or why some such laws were relevant, and had many questions for Ikari. Time went by, and soon it was almost 8:00 PM.

"Do you understand now, Rei?"

"Yes. You have helped me very much." Rei blushed, and a small smile crept upon her face. "Thank you, Shinji."

He laughed. "It's no problem at all." He stood, gathering his books and papers. "Misato is probably worried about me. I didn't have time to tell her where I was."

"If you are admonished, I will take blame for it. Explain to Ms. Katsuragi the circumstances and she will most likely not be mad."

"You're right. Well, I'd better get home. I'll see you tomorrow Rei."

"Good night…Shinji," Rei muttered as he walked out the door. She stood there for a minute or two, just thinking. She shambled over to her bed and took off her clothes. The cold air left gooseflesh on her naked skin, so she scrambled into the sheets. She curled into a ball and fell fast asleep.

She dreamed that night. She was reliving the horror of the failed reactivation test with Unit-00. She flailed about in her sleep, trying to get out of the Eva. She was ejected, her entry plug slamming against the ceiling, then falling to the ground more than 100 feet below. The shock of the landing blasted through Rei's body. She lay there in the plug, half covered in LCL, bleeding and broken, when someone began opening the emergency hatch. She heard a yell of pain from the outside. The person was trying to open the hatch without protective equipment; the superheated entry plug was burning the flesh from his hands.

A swish of air escaped through the hatch as it opened. Blindingly bright light shot in through the gap, and Rei could not see. A shadow stood in the middle of the light, calling out to her.

"Rei! Rei!!"

The figure climbed into the capsule with her.

"Rei, are you all right?!"

The figure dimmed the light from outside. The shadow took form. A familiar face looked worriedly at Rei, crying out her name.

"Oh, thank God you're alive, Rei. I was so worried…"

Rei smiled up at him, and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Don't cry, my love. Everything is fine."


	6. Primary Eros

The hallway was littered with students. Rei wouldn't say it was exactly packed, since there weren't enough students left in the area to jam up a hall that much, but it was fairly populated. An afternoon assembly had been announced to review safety procedures in case of an Angel attack. There hadn't been such an attack in several weeks, so the faculty thought it necessary to refresh the students of what to do when the next invader came. Everyone who still attended the school filed toward the gymnasium, hoping to get a good seat.

Class A-2 walked together. Toji and Kensuke were talking about Misato, surprisingly; Hikari and Asuka huddled together, pointing at passing boys whom they thought were cute. Shinji walked alone, the same as Rei. She flanked him, not close enough for it to be said they walked together, but not far enough that he would be lost in the crowd. He looked bored, Rei thought. It looked like he was thinking of somewhere else in some other time, some other world. His eyebrows were furrowed though, like this other place was just as taxing as this reality. Rei found herself wondering what was happening in that other world; she wondered why Shinji was so concerned about it.

Shinji really was thinking of another world. He wasn't a pilot there, and NERV never existed. Second Impact never happened, Angels didn't exist, and Asuka didn't hate him. All impossibilities, he knew, but that's what imagination is for.

In this other world, he and Asuka were actually an item. She had come to Japan with her mother, Kyoko, to live with their father. He was transferred to Honshu after joining a team of scientists researching meta-biology; his family joined him there shortly after. Asuka and Shinji had met at their school. They were in the same class, and they were instantly friends. Over a few months, both the children grew quite smitten with each other, and finally, Shinji had asked Asuka to go out with him.

Shinji was trying to figure out how Asuka would act if she were nice, and that's the reason he looked so concerned. He just could not picture the fiery German being kind to _anyone_, especially him. What confused him even more was the night she had gotten drunk, earlier in the week. She had no reason to tell Shinji anything personal, but she had told him her innermost secrets. Then she wanted them to have…she wanted Shinji to…it didn't make sense! A heavy sigh escaped Shinji. It was pointless thinking about it, since there was obviously no rational explanation for Asuka's behavior.

The fiery German stepped in line with Shinji, planting hands on hips as she walked with him. "What are you so glum about? We're missing class for something we pilots don't need to know about! You should be happy, idiot."

Shinji reddened, but not from being ridiculed. He hadn't talked with Asuka much since that confusing night, and he felt awkward around her. "Sorry…"

Rei watched this event unfold from Shinji's flank. She knew what was coming; there were a scant few reasons Asuka would begin talking with Shinji at this time.

"Hmph!" Asuka harrumphed. "Well you know, Shinji, I'm happy enough for both of us! Why don't you sit…"

"Ikari!" Rei interjected.

Shinji turned his head to face Rei. "Is something wrong, Ayanami?"

She took a step closer to him. "Would you like to sit next to me at the assembly?"

Asuka gasped and glared vehemently at her. "Now wait just a minute, I…"

"That'd be great, Ayanami."

Asuka grew silent. She looked hurt. "Why would anyone want to sit next to this wimp anyway? You're weird, Wondergirl." She stalked off with Hikari ahead of the class, speeding into the crowd of students.

Inwardly, Rei smiled.

"Huh, I wonder what's wrong with Asuka," Shinji asked, completely oblivious to the battle that just took place.

The class arrived at the gymnasium shortly before the assembly began. The only seats left were fold-out chairs in the back rows. Shinji and Rei picked two seats on the aisle, Rei being on the outside. Asuka forced a few underclassmen to give up their seats toward the middle for her and Hikari. The speaker stood on a platform in the front of the gym, but had no mic; the slow drone of his voice lost its power by the time it reached where they sat.

From what Shinji caught, the speaker was going over protocol concerning an Angel attack if one were to happen during lunchtime. He didn't listen, knowing that if there indeed was an attack, he would be fighting, not seeking shelter. Rei looked at her feet, not showing any signs of boredom or ennui. She wasn't showing anything, really.

But she was anxiously wondering if she should talk to Shinji. If she did, what would she say? She could talk about the Eva's…no, he hates piloting. She could talk about recent developments in NERV…no, he wouldn't be interested in that. She could talk about Command…no. So she sat in silence, wanting to speak, but with nothing to say.

Shinji leaned over to whisper with Rei. "How did you do on the physics test this morning?" he asked.

"I passed with sufficient marks with your help, Ikari. And how did you perform?"

"Ah, well there were a few tough questions that I couldn't get. I hope they don't drop my grade very much."

"I am confident that you did superbly on the test. You are quite eruditic when it comes to physics."

Shinji blushed. "Heh, thanks Rei. You had a quiz on Hawthorne's _Scarlet Letter_ too, didn't you? How was that?"

She looked him in the eye. "We do not speak of Hawthorne," she said in a flat tone, warning him to tread no further on that path.

"Oh, s-sorry…"

Shinji sat back in his chair, looking somewhat frightened. Rei hadn't meant to be so harsh with him; it's just that she had failed that quiz so horribly, it still gave her chills. She hadn't bothered finishing _The Scarlet Letter_, so she had no idea what had actually happened to the characters. Quite frankly, however, she didn't give a damn.

"Ikari…" Rei leaned toward Shinji. She rested her head against his shoulder. "I apologize. I do not enjoy that author in the least. I failed the quiz today, and am a little upset about it. I didn't mean to snap at you."

With Rei on his shoulder, Shinji stiffened. This was the closest the two had ever been; it seemed strange to him. He could smell Rei's hair; lavender and roses filled his nose. "It's alright, Rei. Don't worry about it."

The speaker raised his arms, signaling the children to go back to class. Asuka stood with Hikari and began to leave. As she turned to go, she saw Shinji with Rei leaning against him. A scowl most dark enveloped her face as she stalked toward the two.

"And what the hell is this, Shinji?"

"Asuka!" He straightened in his chair. Rei felt heavier on his shoulder of a sudden. He felt ashamed with her there, for some reason. It felt like he had broken an unwritten law, and now vengeful justice was here to punish him.

Rei was unfazed. She kept her position.

Asuka glared at her. "What are you waiting for? Get off of my Shinji!"

Shinji grew wide-eyed at this. _Her_ Shinji? Since when did Asuka think he was hers? He could see pure hate beaming from Asuka's eyes.

Rei slowly got up, serene as a winter lake. She stepped up to Asuka so that they were face to face. Then she fired.

"Shinji does not belong to you, Asuka. He is not bound to you in any way. I will do as I please."

"Well if he isn't bound to me, then he sure as hell has no attachment to you, Wondergirl."

The Class Rep didn't want to see fighting within the ranks. "Stop this, you two! You aren't children, you know!"

They ignored her.

Rei furrowed her brows. "I'm closer to him than you are. Shinji doesn't want to be with you anyway."

Shinji, however, had no idea where that information had come from. He was shocked to see these two girls fighting over him, and stood there like a statue.

Asuka reached back her arm, and brought her hand into full contact with Rei's cheek. A resounding _smack_ echoed in the nearly-empty gymnasium. A teacher, who had been observing the event, waiting for things to either work their way out or get out of hand, strode toward the group. He quickly got in between the fighting girls, trying to separate Rei's death-grip on Asuka's hair while simultaneously trying to stop Asuka from kicking Rei in the shin.

"What on earth are you two doing?!" he shouted. "Stop this immediately!"

Rei let go of Asuka and backed away.

Asuka kept after it. "She started it, that little bitch!"

Hikari and Shinji both gasped at the language Asuka had used.

"And I'm ending it, Asuka! Now stop this!" the teacher yelled. Once Asuka had backed down, he took her and Rei by the arms. "We're going to see the principal now. This is just ridiculous…"

He and the girls left for the principals office, while Shinji and Hikari stood, equally bewildered and in the dark of what just happened.

**A/N: Ya, I dissed Hawthorne through Rei. Deal with it. :3**


	7. Fifth Movement

The sound of the Prelude reverberated off the matte walls of Shinji's room. He strung his bow across the strings of his cello passionately, forcing his will upon the instrument. He could feel the vibrations through the wood in his left hand as it moved deftly up and down the neck of the cello. The beautiful absolution of the notes filled Shinji with pride in his work, and with a sense of usefulness. He played the Prelude over and over to the best of his ability, increasing the tempo each time, making the music race faster through his heart. His spirit was rejuvenated, his mind cleared, his heart strengthened.

The afternoon sun shined through the open window. Shinji stopped playing to catch a breath. He walked to the window, gazing out towards the city of Tokyo-3; his city. A broad smile warmed his face. The people that lived in this great place needed him. They needed him to pilot the Eva so the Angels wouldn't destroy them. He piloted the Eva so that the human race could live on, live on in the world he was protecting.

Of course, it wasn't just him. Both Ayanami and Asuka had the same duty as he; all three were charged with the protection of man. They three were the barrier between life and death for humans. They stood silently vigilant, awaiting the time to perform their sacred duty.

But that was for another time. Unexpectedly, the Children were only needed for one test that weekend, and it had already taken place that morning. They were off for the remainder of the weekend. This was their time to relax, to recuperate, to enjoy what part of life they still could. For Shinji, that meant a devotion to his music. This was one of the few times he was able to practice and enjoy his creations of splendorous bliss.

Shinji wiped his brow, and took his seat. The fresh air had cooled him some, and he was eager to get back to the Prelude. He placed his cello, positioned his bow, and began anew.

"_Mein Gott, hält auf!!"_ Asuka yelled at the top of her lungs.

Lifting his bow, Shinji paused the music for the moment. "You know I can't understand you, Asuka!" he yelled back, slightly annoyed. What a waste of time she could be!

He could hear light footsteps approaching. They came closer to his room, gaining momentum and volume. They stopped in front of his door, which easily slid open with the force Asuka put behind it. She stood in the doorway, seething in her tank-top and shorts. Her breasts had no support from a bra, yet still held their voluptuous form perfectly. Shinji tried not to squeak in delight.

"If you play that song one more time, God help me, I'll impale you on that bow! You do know there's an entire suite after the Prelude, right? Learn to play another part of it!"

"But this is my favorite part," Shinji said in a condescending tone. Asuka should _obviously_ know that it is his favorite part of the suite.

"And you have been listening to it for hours, and making me do the same, idiot! I'm trying to concentrate in my room, and you're making it a hell of a lot harder."

Shinji paused. "Concentrating on what?" He'd expect Asuka to be sleeping or idly reading a magazine on her free time, but she was concentrating on something? It must be important, then.

"My video game. I'm on the last level, and the puzzle is confusing me." She softened up a bit, losing some of the bite to her words. "Wanna come see it? I bet you can't figure it out, either."

"Um…sure," Shinji said timidly. He moved the cello from between his legs and set it against his dresser. Standing, he entered the hallway with Asuka.

They made the epic journey across the house to her room in good time, what with Asuka in the lead. Shinji caught himself watching her backside on the way there. His first reaction was to feel embarrassed and get ready for a scolding from…well, from someone; but then he knew that wasn't to come—no one knew he was watching her ass anyway. He studied it for the scant seconds they journeyed, and gained a whole new outlook on Asuka. To tell the truth, she had an amazing ass. Nice and round, but not too big. Something you could grab on to—in Shinji's inexperience and naïve opinion anyway.

They entered Asuka's dimly lit abode. The shades had been drawn across the two windows that occupied the place, throwing a tan-colored light into the room. It created a calm feeling, a kind of nostalgia for more peaceful days past. It comforted the two pilots. It was, however, a little stuffy in there. The air was hot, and hard to breathe; no new air had gotten in, so the same oxygen had been circulating in the room for the entire time Asuka had been in there. Shinji expected the room to smell of sweat, and readied his hand to cover his nose; but he was surprised. The room smelled nothing reminiscent of odor—it smelled…nice. It smelled like Asuka.

"Right, grab a seat," she said. She dropped down onto her stomach on a pile of pillows haphazardly placed on the floor and took up her controller. Shinji sat cross-legged to her left at about waist level. "Close the door, would you?"

"Oh, sure." Feeling somewhat irritated that she asked after he had sat down, Shinji got up and closed the door. He took his seat once again. Asuka's scent encompassed the room. It filled Shinji's lungs with the sweet aroma of such a myriad of flowers, his head was soon spinning. It was oppressive, suffocating him, but he wanted more of it. He wanted more of Asuka.

"Okay, this is the level. Are you watching?" Asuka twisted to look back at him. Shinji nodded. "Good. Now you see, I have to get across this lake of lava. There're islands floating above the lava, but only a few of them. See these levers? They move the position of the islands. The thing is each lever controls more than one island. I've been trying to find the right combination for hours, but I can't get the damned islands to line up."

"Alright. Well, just start trying combinations. We'll see if we can figure out the right one."

So Shinji watched Asuka play the game. They both searched for the solution, their minds racing for the answer. Half an hour passed. Asuka was intent on beating the game, and so paid no attention to Shinji. He paid a lot of attention to her, though. Without her looking, he could study her figure. Propped up on her elbows like she was, her back was arched in a way that Shinji could not take his eyes off of her. Her crossed legs looked so smooth, so wonderfully silky, he was barely able to keep from running a hand across them. And her ass—damn! It was like icing on an already delicious cake.

Understandably, Shinji didn't hear Asuka the first time she spoke. "Shinji! Are you listening to me?"

"Of course," he said, startled by his inattention.

"Then answer my question."

"W-well, um, I was t-trying to figure out the puzzle, s-so wasn't paying attention to what you said…" Shinji was flushed, his cheeks red and burning. If Asuka had found out he was ogling her, she'd bite his head off.

"What's wrong? You're face is all red," she said, fanning her own face. "I guess it is pretty hot in here."

A dumfounded Shinji watched as Asuka took her shirt off, tossing it nonchalantly onto her bed. She had no bra on.

"There, that's better."

Shinji tried to say something, but it seemed coherent words were too complicated for his brain to process. A babble of nothing came out instead.

"What's your problem?" Asuka asked, rolling on her side to look at Shinji. Her arm rested on her naked breasts, covering them to a small extent. Her face was also flushed, but from the heat or embarrassment, Shinji knew not.

He averted his eyes. "Couldn't we just open a window or something?" he managed to get out without tripping over his tongue too much. This was too much for him. Asuka without a shirt on, resting there like nothing was going on at all! Had she finally gone mad?

"Why aren't you looking at me?" she asked. "What, aren't I good enough for you?" she said, raising her voice. "Am I so ugly and dreadful that you can't stand to look at me?" She stood, rising above a cowering Shinji.

"No, it's nothing like that, Asuka! This has never happened before, I mean with me and a girl, so it's just really uncomfortable! It's not that I think you're ugly, believe me!" Shinji brought his knees to his chest, pushing his head downwards, trying not to see Asuka. "It wouldn't be right for me to see you like this anyway. I don't deserve to see you like this!"

Asuka presided over his excuses in relative silence, hands on hips, bare-chested and not caring who saw. A scowl had fixed itself upon her face, and she stared daggers at Shinji.

For a tense minute, nothing happened. Shinji sat huddled, and Asuka stood unabashed. But then she moved. She crouched next to Shinji and placed a hand on his arm. "Listen, I didn't mean to freak you out or anything. I didn't know you were so insecure about it. If you want, I can put my shirt back on." Shinji nodded his head the best he could, concealed as he was. "Alright, I'll tell you when you can look." He nodded again.

Asuka went and grabbed a bra from her dresser, though it was still too hot to wear one. _For Shinji's sake, _she thought. Then she got her tank-top from her bed, and slipped it on too. "Okay," she said.

Shinji slowly unraveled the grip he had on himself. He hesitantly raised his head, making sure Asuka had kept her promise. When he saw she was decent, he stretched out his legs and leaned heavily against the wall. The tension left his body, along with his energy.

"I'm sorry, Asuka, for making you think I saw you as ugly. That's not the truth."

Asuka walked over to Shinji and sat next to him.

"I actually think you're quite the opposite." He swallowed, trying to force the lump in his throat down. "You're very beautiful, Asuka," he quietly said, looking at the ground.

Asuka was taken aback, but hid her surprise as best she could—Shinji didn't notice at least. She leaned toward him, and gently left a wet kiss on his cheek. She said nothing, but went back to her game, determined to beat it without any more interruptions.


	8. Allemande

**A/N: Allemande takes place at the same time as the Fifth Movement.**

Drab, filtered light snuck its way into Rei's apartment. The blind to her window was closed, like always, but it didn't keep all the brightness out. The plates of metal that created the walls and ceiling seemed to suck all the heat out of the air. It left a cold feeling to the place, though it was almost 90° outside. The feeling sank into Rei's bones, chilling her to the core. Not to say her soul was not already cold, though. Only in the past few weeks had Rei come to realize how emotionless she really was. She realized it, and tried to hate it—tried, but could not. She had never known hate, and so could not concentrate her energy on it. It was an unknown to her.

An unknown like so many other things. The sheet of ice that kept Rei's spirit from learning did not seem to have a weakness at all. No matter how hard she tried, the cold lazily bounced off her attacks, and seemed to laugh at Rei.

"What are you doing, puppet? There is no escaping me. I am part of you, and have always been. And will always be."

It mocked her attempts to destroy the only thing that kept her sane.

"If I die, so do you. We are one in the same, puppet. Break me, and you will be crippled beyond resuscitation."

_I am not a puppet._

"Then what are you?"

_I am I…_

"That means nothing, and you know it. I am you. I am what keeps you alive."

_No. That cannot be._

"And why not?"

_Because…_

_Because…_

"Exactly my point. If you would accept me like you used to, then all would be right in the world. You would not be so confused. Just give in, Rei."

The afternoon sun, blazing in the endless sky, shied away from the apartment. Its rays died when they ventured there. So an endless shadow was cast upon the place, leaving it look as though it was void of life, void of meaning. The truth was very much close to this.

Rei lay upon her bed, staring at the ceiling. She was trying to see the sun, but the shadow of doubt covered her imagination. Nothing came from the sky but darkness. Darkness with teeth that gnawed at her freedom, threatening to turn her into nothing but a doll.

_I will not allow this._

"Fuck, like you can do anything about it, Rei. Listen to me for one damn minute, would you?"

_I will not._

"You're just being a child now. You won't listen to reason."

_This is not reason. This is a lie. I've been betrayed._

"Betrayed? By whom, might I ask?"

_By Commander Ikari. He's lied to me my entire life. He has suppressed the feelings that prove I exist. He used you to control me. You are nothing but his tool._

"At least I know who I am. You don't know anything about yourself, do you? You have no idea…"

The cold laughed at Rei. It stung her soul, knowing that it was right. She did not have an identity. She was nothing.

_I will __not_ _allow this._

"Yeah, I've heard that before, bitch. You aren't doing anything but whining, now. There's nothing and no one that can help you. So would you please just fucking stop?"

Silence was all that existed. Rei could not say anything to the cold. She was helpless, like it said she was. There really was no point in trying to be free; it was impossible. Freedom was in a distant land now, millions of miles away. It was unreachable, unattainable.

Tears rolled down Rei's pale cheeks. She had been defeated by her only real enemy. All she could do was stare at the shadow, waiting for the sun that would never show itself. All she could do was let the tears flow.

"There, there, puppet. There is no need to cry. Come, accept my bond with you once again, and I promise things will be better."

_This cannot be, _Rei thought in disbelief.

"I think we already went over that, Rei."

_The world is not so cruel to reject my want for it._

"How would you know? You've never been out of Gendo's control. You don't know anything about what happens out there."

Liquid hurt flowed from Rei's eyes. The cold was right. How could it be so fucking right about everything? It's like the cold knew more about Rei than she herself did; it was an injustice against her soul.

Rei shuddered and, laying on her side, curled into a ball, knees to chest. She closed her eyes, trying to escape the shadow. The cold laughed at Rei's insignificance; it knew it was winning this battle.

_You have no right to do this to me._

"And who the fuck is going to stop me?"

_You have no right to keep me prisoner._

"I am keeping you prisoner?" It laughed. "You're doing this to yourse…" The cold stopped abruptly. It had made a mistake.

Rei opened her eyes, a spark of knowing deep within the red.

_I'm doing this to myself?_

"No, of course not! I never said that."

_This is my fault?_

"No! You have no control over it!"

_Then…I can change it._

"You're fucking crazy! You are nothing but a puppet for Gendo!"

_I've been keeping myself ignorant this whole time. By my own actions, I've been entrapped in this limited existence._

The cold shrank away from Rei's thoughts, retreating back into her soul. But Rei sensed it, and grabbed the cold.

_You cannot escape now. I am myself. I have the power to change myself. I wish for you to be gone. I wish for you to die._

The sun felt something change. The creeping evil that had surrounded and engulfed the place where eternal shadow dwelt was weakening. It was being defeated at long last. The sun, radiant in its glory, shone its rays down upon the place, cracking the darkness' defenses.

Rei fought the cold, but with the upper hand now. She willed it to die, to be utterly exterminated. She could feel the ice crack and begin to melt.

"Rei, wait! If I die, you die! Your soul will be eaten by society! You cannot live in such imperfection!"

_You lie. I have something to replace you. If you are replaced, I will live._

"That's impossible! I was created with you, we are the same entity!"

_I understand now. I have found the one thing in the world that can help me, that can revive my soul, that can guide it to happiness._

Light broke through the shadow in a brilliant shockwave. The darkness was scattered and taken into the light, becoming that which it hated. The cold screamed in agony.

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY DEFY MY WILL?!"

_Love._

The cold shattered. Its scream echoed through the halls of Rei's mind and soul. It was a terrifying sound, the death-cry of the ice, and Rei rejoiced in it.

At long last, the sun shone through the solitary window. The light lingered playfully upon the strong metal walls of Rei's home. The cold was gone, and a sweet, beautiful feeling replaced it. Rei stood and smiled in ecstasy; this was the beginning of her new life. This was the beginning of her happiness.

"I'm coming, Shinji!" Rei pronounced to the world. Her heart felt light, as her soul rejoiced in pure, exultant joy. This was the new Rei. This was the Rei that screamed 'I' at the heart of the world.

The door to the apartment flew open, creaking at the rusted joints. Rei ran out, not even bothering to close the door, and headed for the train station. She was headed to Shinji's house, headed there to tell him. Tell him what, she did not know. But she knew she had to talk with him.

Sunshine showered Rei as she ran, pouring from the heavens. The sun smiled, sharing the same joy Rei felt.

"She finally figured it out," the sun said to itself. "After all these years, she finally got it."


	9. Secondary Eros

Rei was quickly running up the stairs of the apartment complex where Shinji lived. She had taken a train most of the way, but had been running for almost a mile now. Her face was flush, her breathe just becoming ragged; it didn't help that she was running in her school uniform, either. Her once white shoes, muddied and stained now, carried her up the stairs as fast as they could.

Haste, however, would be the bane of her. Landing her foot a scant half an inch off from the edge of the stair, Rei lost her balance. Falling, she tried to catch herself by flinging out her hands. She caught one on the edge of a stair, the other on the flat of it. Her elbow scraped painfully against the cement, and her knees were skinned clean. Rei cried out in pain, hoping no one had seen her little tumble.

She got up and evaluated her wounds. "Son of a damn!" she exclaimed. She gasped, eyes wide. Did she really just say that? She looked around in case someone had heard her curse, embarrassed as she was about it. Not an hour from being free and she was already swearing—incorrectly, however. Since she had never been exposed to such language (and if she had, she hadn't taken notice), Rei didn't have the slightest clue as to how to curse with eloquence.

Blood was trickling down Rei's legs, staining her socks. Her elbow wasn't as badly injured, though blood still escaped her body, running down the length of her arm. She didn't have anything to sop it up with, nor anything to clean the cuts. Shinji would be able to help her, she was sure. She rushed up the stairs once again, though a bit more cautiously this time.

The room was still hot, the smell of Asuka still oppressive. Shinji sat in a kind of bittersweet agony, not wanting to leave Asuka's side, but not wanting to endure such heat any longer.

After Asuka had put her shirt back on (God only knows why she took it off in the first place!), she had gone back to the game. Shinji was watching, hoping to crack the puzzle wide open before Asuka did, just to show her that he was useful. He stared intently at the screen, squinting his eyes now and then when he had an idea.

"_Scheiß_…" whispered Asuka. She was getting frustrated.

Shinji was starting to get nervous. When Asuka got frustrated, she usually took it out on him, blaming him for her ineptitudes. The room seemed to get hotter, the air more dense; a thin blanket of hostility slowly floated down upon the two pilots.

The clock read 3:42. Shinji had been in Asuka's room for over an hour and a half now. He wasn't complaining about it, exactly—it was strange that she had let him stay in there for so long though.

A shrill tone was heard throughout the house. Shinji stood, wonder on his face. "Who could that be?" he said to himself. "I'll go see who's at the door," he said to Asuka, who didn't seem to pay him any mind. Shinji left the oppressive room, and turned the corner to enter the kitchen. Plates were stacked upon each other in the sink, all still dirty from last night's dinner, and this morning's breakfast; Asuka had forgotten to do them. Beer cans almost overflowed the garbage can by the fridge, and the beer itself left a pungent odor in the room; Misato had forgotten to take care of those. The table and countertops were clean, thanks to Shinji doing his chores. Sometimes it seemed like the girls didn't do their work because they knew he would eventually get annoyed and do it for them.

Walking to the door, Shinji pressed the 'talk' button. "Who is it?"

From the static of the intercom, but also muffled through the actual door, he heard, "Ayanami. May I come in?"

_What? Why is Rei here? We better not have to go back to NERV and do more tests._

The door quickly slid open, revealing a dirty and bloody Rei. "Ayanami! What happened to you? You're bleeding!"

Rei blushed. "I fell while coming up the stairs…" She could feel her cheeks turn a bright crimson. She hoped that Shinji wasn't secretly laughing at her.

"Well come in, I'll get some bandages for you."

Rei followed Shinji into the kitchen where he pulled out a seat for her. He went to get bandages and antiseptic from the bathroom, promising to be back soon. She sat, trying not to stretch her legs or arm too much; clots that were starting to form in her wounds might break open, and she would get blood all over the clean floor. She didn't want to inconvenience Shinji at all, and so she did her best to keep still.

"Shinji, who's here?" Asuka called from her room. Rei tensed up; Asuka would more than likely get angry that she was here. She would get even madder when she found out that Shinji was taking care of Rei's hurts. But what could Rei do? It's not like she could run into another room and hide; that would make her look silly. She could not leave the apartment, not after Shinji had already promised to take care of her. She would just have to take the brute force of Asuka's attacks that were sure to come. Rei hardened herself, steeling off her heart.

"Shinji!" Asuka yelled. She had asked politely already, and Shinji hadn't answered. He was being rude about the entire thing, she decided. It was time to set him straight. Asuka got up, careful to keep her breasts from spilling out of her loose tank-top. _That idiot…_

She walked out to the kitchen, where she found, surprisingly, a bloody Rei. Trying to hide her shock, Asuka put a grim scowl on her face. "And what are_ you_ doing here?"

"I've come to talk with Shinji, that is all."

A fire was lit inside of Asuka. Rei coming all this way just to talk to Shinji? She doubted that. Rei was trying to steal him away from her. If Asuka couldn't have Shinji, then she sure as hell wouldn't let anyone else have him. She had to have him. She had to be better than Wondergirl. Asuka suppressed the fire, though; for now, she had to find out exactly what was going on.

"What's with the blood?"

Rei looked down at her tarnished knees. "I scraped them." She pressed her lips together, making them thin. She didn't want Asuka to know how clumsy she had been, and so said nothing else.

"Hm," Asuka grunted. "Where's my Shinji?"

Rei's brow furrowed. Her_ Shinji? Again with that?_ But no, she had to be polite; she didn't want to get kicked out by Asuka before she had a chance to talk with Shinji. "He is gathering bandages and antiseptic for the cuts," she said quietly, but not meekly; she put a force behind her voice saying "Don't try me, bitch."

Asuka noticed the change in tone. _So she wants to fight, is that it? She doesn't know what she's getting herself into, the damn wench._

"Alright, I've got the bandages, Rei!" Shinji called from the bathroom, from which he soon emerged. He saw Asuka staring at Rei, and Rei staring back. There was a sort of electricity in the air, humming with enmity. "Oh, Asuka. Um, Rei's here. She hurt herself, a-and I'm helping her clean up."

"No shit, Sherlock," she bluntly replied.

"W-well, um, I can take care of her now. Y-you can get back to the game, alright? I'm sure we've almost got that p-puzzle figured out."

Asuka turned to face Shinji, looking him in the eye. She smoothed her face, and replaced the scowl with a bright smile. She rushed over to him, and closed in, putting them face-to-face. "Alright, Shinji," she purred. "But hurry, 'k? I've got something I want to show you." She licked her lips. "Hurry, Shinji…" Asuka giggled and turned to leave. She shot a hateful glance at Rei, knowing she had won that small battle. She escaped to her room.

Rei was angry now—screw politeness. Asuka had just flaunted herself in front of Shinji just to get her angry, and by Job, it worked. Rei began to stand, but Shinji came and blocked her.

"I've got to put on these bandages first, Rei. Sit down and try to relax, alright?" he said.

Rei sat, frustrated she couldn't go after Asuka, but happy that Shinji was paying attention to her. She turned her chair so that he could crouch in front of her, making it easier for him to put on the bandages.

Shinji received a beaming smile from Rei as he crouched, grabbing for the antiseptic first. It seemed strange on her face; he hadn't seen Rei smile like that since they defeated Ramiel. Shinji showed his own smile, encouraged that Rei seemed to be happy.

"This might sting a little…" he said, slowly rubbing the antiseptic onto one of Rei's knees. She flinched a little at first contact, but relaxed after that. "So Rei, um…why'd you come here?" He looked up at Rei. "N-not saying that you aren't welcome or anything like that. You never seem to come over anyway, even if you're invited. It's just strange, you showing up here." Shinji shook his head, trying to explain. "N-not that it isn't nice to see you, Rei. I-I enjoy your company, when we actually have free time to spend." He stopped talking, knowing he was just rambling.

Rei giggled, holding a hand up to her mouth. It was a foreign sound to Shinji's ears, but it felt like…home. Her laughter comforted him. A warm glow pulsated in his chest, going right in time with the beat of his heart. It felt strange and alien, but so…_right_ that there was no denying its good intentions.

Shinji, not knowing what to do, concentrated on the dressing of Rei's cuts. He was soon done with the job, and stood, taking a step back. "Okay, you should be ready to go, Rei."

She stood, pushing the chair back under the table. She took a step toward Shinji and placed a hand on his chest. "Thank you, Shinji." Rei pressed her other hand against his chest, and laid her head against him. He smelled…nice. He smelled friendly and soothing. All thoughts of Asuka and her jealous anger left Rei's mind, replaced with the overwhelming sense of good that Shinji put in her.

Bewildered, Shinji raised his arms for a moment, a shocked expression on his face. What in the world was Rei doing? First she comes over, beaten and bloodied and with no warning; then she smiles and laughs, something she has never done; and now she wanted him to hug her! What was going on?

Well, what else could Shinji do? So he slowly embraced Rei. First he only touched her, but soon began pressing her against him. She felt good up against his chest. The lavender and rose smell swept itself into Shinji's nose, filling him with a sort of calm happiness. Rei sighed in pleasure, glad that he had squeezed her close. Shinji rest his cheek down onto Rei's brilliant blue hair, taking in her scent in a deep breath.

He soon realized what he was doing, and yelped in embarrassment. He jumped and backed away, all the time apologizing. "I'm sorry Ayanami, I didn't mean to do that! I'm not a pervert, I swear!" Shinji stopped in the hall, looking hesitantly and anxiously at Rei.

She smiled and laughed. "What are you talking about, Shinji? Come back here…" Rei glided towards him.

Asuka had heard the fervent apologies from her room. She put down her controller, got up from her pile of pillows, and started for the kitchen. _Arschloch. What's she done with my Shinji?_ She came out just as Rei was trying to grab hold of Shinji, wrapping her arms around him. "_Dreckig Schlampe_!" Asuka screamed. "Get the hell away from my Shinji!"

Rei turned, attention on the infuriated German. "Shinji, back away. I don't want you getting hurt."

"W-what? What's going on?" Shinji was confused out of his mind. Why were Asuka and Rei at each others throats?

"Shut up and get out of the way, idiot," Asuka said. She took a step forward, crouching ever so slightly, ready to fight.

Rei did the same, readying her fists. NERV had taught a few classes on self-defense, and she had not forgotten them.

Shinji saw the hate in the girls' eyes. He just didn't know why it was there. "Wait, you can't do this!" He stepped in between them. "This is childish!" He was trying to cool down the situation, trying to disarm the hostility between the two girls; it didn't seem to be working though. Asuka advanced another step. Now, Shinji was the only thing blocking her from Rei. She grabbed his arm, ready to throw him aside.

"Shinji, this is an issue for us girls to work out. You need to leave, or you might get hurt too," she said curtly.

Rei agreed. "It would not be wise to stay, Shinji. Please wait in the other room."

Shinji was almost in a panic. "No! I won't allow this to happen! I can't just watch as you two tear each other apart." He shook his head. "What the hell are you two fighting about anyway?" he demanded.

The girls were caught off guard by this. They had just assumed that Shinji knew what was going on between the three of them. Obviously, they were gravely mistaken. Asuka thought he was denser than ever before, while Rei thought she had failed in expressing her love for him. Both were examples of valid reasoning, but neither fully explaining his ignorance.

Asuka backed down first. "Wait, you don't know?"

"Know what, damnit?"

Rei also took a step back. "You truly do not realize…?"

Shinji quickly shook his head. "I have no clue what the hell you two are talking about!"

The girls looked at each other, then at Shinji, then back at each other. Asuka shrugged and let out a sigh. Rei stood silent, mouth tight.

"You idiot." Asuka said, exasperated. "You can be such a fucking moron sometimes." She turned around and walked to her room. "We'll finish this later, _hexe_," she said as she closed the door.

Shinji faced Rei. "Can you please explain to me what's going on?"

She looked up into his eyes, seeing he was, without a doubt, ignorant about the entire subject. Seeing this, Rei felt like it was her fault. She hadn't had time to explain to Shinji what a magnificent revelation she had experienced, and apparently wasn't able to express her love for him adequately. She lowered her head, dejected. "I need to go, Shinji." she said quietly.

"Could you tell me what's happening before you go?"

"No, I'm sorry. I just can't do that." Rei snatched back a sob as best she could, but it still broke through. Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. "I have to go right now," she said, rushing past a confused Shinji, running to the door and out the apartment.

And so Shinji was left alone in the hall—stunned, baffled, perplexed and mystified as to what in the flying fuck just happened.

**A/N: Sorry if my German isn't quite correct. I took a few years of it earlier in high school, but have forgotten much of it. Lemme know if anything is incorrect.**


	10. Courante

Silky white clouds, thin and wispy, dotted the plane above that of earth. They chased each other in the heavens, playfully flitting this way and that, paying no head to the harsh admonitions received from the wind. These clouds had no time for order or rules or laws—they had time only for their own whims. The wind, not wanting to bother with such insolence, retreated into its domain. It left the air untouched; not a breath stirred. Not minding the ornery old wind, the clouds gaily pranced about in the atmosphere. The sky that was the cloud's playing field was just beginning to take on an orange hew now, signaling the sun's farewell to the day. Soon the city of Tokyo-3 would rise from its false grave. Soon the inhabitants of this haven from the Angels would have time to enjoy the sky, the sunset, the fresh air.

From the roof of the school, Rei lay on her back, arms and legs straight and flat on the ground. Her soiled school uniform was beginning to take on the appearance of a jumble of colorful rags, fit only for a pauper. She didn't mind all that much—she had other outfits to wear if she was unable to clean it properly. Her skinned elbow lay on the gravel of the roof, and though it had a bandage upon it, such a thing did not provide any cushioning. The pressure caused a constant, dull sting to emanate from her arm. She didn't mind all that much though.

Rei sighed—a slow, heavy sigh usually accompanying those who had lost hope, who had just given up. The air that left the lungs of such people with this kind of sigh took their hopes for a better life with it. It scattered these dreams into the melee of disbanded wishes that all of humanity was expelling. The air was dense with these discarded dreams—one was bogged down by such fear and abandonment. A soul was slowly choked to death by the wasted hopes of the hopeless.

After the near-fight with Asuka and the subsequent fleeing from Shinji, Rei had not a clue where to go for comfort. Her apartment, though her home, would not placate her frayed emotions; its worn-down walls could not help her. Obviously NERV was no option, since all she did there was follow someone else's wishes. And so she ran to her school. The doors had been unlocked and wide open; the custodians were at work this weekend, polishing up the tile floors and repainting some of the older rooms. It seemed useless to Rei—if an Angel might destroy the entire city in its attack, was there any point in painting? Was there any point in making the school shine like it did when more than a handful of students still attended?

Rei had been laying there, elbow tingling with lighthearted pain, for just about half an hour. Once Shinji hadn't realized that Rei was showing affection for him, her heart had taken quite an impact. She thought that smiling and laughing, and even the sweet embrace she had given him would have shown Shinji that she loved him. Now that he still had no idea as to her real feelings, it was like Rei had failed. Her first try at having some kind of relationship with a person, and that person didn't show any reaction, other than getting utterly confused. What had she done wrong? Had she not said something she was supposed to; had she not done something—a certain gesture, a certain look—that would have signaled her affection? Ideas and hypotheses as to why her try at love had been unsuccessful swam through her tormented mind.

Rei didn't have any experience with emotions, other than the few she had been programmed to have—affection for Gendo, trust in the Eva, a sense of duty, to name a few—and so was completely unprepared for what had happened earlier. After her revelation, she knew that she was to be with Shinji; she didn't have any plan as to how that would come to be, though. In truth, she had run blind into the apartment with no idea as to what was going to happen. She just knew that she had to be with Shinji, and that was what drove her yet. Even still, she drifted in a broken sea of feelings that she had never encountered before, and did not know how to deal with. Rei was helpless, and was feeling the full brunt of the attack that these uncaring emotions threw at the walls of her heart.

The clouds slowly distorted into uneasy, unfocused masses of white. Tears welled up in Rei's eyes, ever so slowly. She fought them back, though; she had lived fourteen years without shedding a single tear—she was stronger than this, she had more self control than this. A sad frown broke her calm visage, and her eyebrows scrunched up. It shouldn't have been such a battle to keep back the salty sadness, but Rei could barely keep it from running down her cheeks. She sniffed and scrubbed the tears from her eyes.

A crunch of gravel sounded behind Rei. She quickly took her hand from her face, flopped over onto her belly and looked up—it was Shinji. His face looked flush and he was breathing hard.

"Shinji…"

"Ayanami. I thought I would find you here."

Rei sat up, laying her legs to the side. The gravel dug into them, though she didn't care all too much. "How did you know?"

"I figured that you wouldn't want to go home, since it's always so desolate there. I thought you might have gone back to NERV, but after you acted so strangely earlier, I figured you wouldn't find any consolation from the Eva or my father. So the best place to look was the school." Shinji looked at the ground—he had actually had a pretty tough time figuring out that Rei would be here. After Rei had ran from his house, Shinji had sat in the kitchen, trying to understand the whole situation. Asuka had come in and told him how she felt about Rei, then patted his head and went back to her room. Shinji was happy for the attention, and was overjoyed that someone was finally being nice to him, but it seemed unjust. He shouldn't be so happy when Rei and Asuka hated each other. He shouldn't be so happy when Rei had cried right in front of him. "May I sit with you?" he asked.

"Yes, please," Rei said, watching him sit in front of her.

Shinji looked into Rei's eyes—they were bloodshot and a little swollen. "Rei…um, can you tell me what happened?" She looked at him, no expression on her face, no movement of her body—there was no hint that she had even heard him speak. Shinji turned his head, looking across the sky to the setting sun. Her gaze had made him feel awkward, like what he asked was the one thing she didn't want to answer. Doubt began its take-over of Shinji's mind. "I've never seen you like you were back there. You were smiling, and laughing…" He swallowed a lump in his throat. "And you hugged me…" he said bashfully, but only loud enough so that Rei could barely make it out.

Rei moved closer to where Shinji sat; they were only a few inches away now. She tilted her head and moved it forward a little, trying to catch Shinji's gaze. He turned to her, and their eyes locked. He looked so innocent and…cute. "I had come to your apartment to tell you something. I hadn't planned on getting hurt on the way, and when Asuka wanted to fight with me, I forgot about telling you. She angers me, Shinji. I believe she hates me as well."

"I wouldn't say she_ hates_ you…" Shinji said, knowing full well that Asuka wouldn't mind if Rei had a fatal "accident."

Rei knew he was lying, of course—he wasn't good at being subtle. She didn't say anything about it, though. She looked up into the sky. The clouds were taking on a dark blue tinge, and the sky was coming closer to the color of blood.

"May I ask you something, Rei?"

She looked back into Shinji's eyes. She nodded.

"What happened that made you change so suddenly?"

After a few moments of hesitation, Rei said, "I was coming to tell you that when I showed up at your abode." Her cheeks heated. She had to tell this right; she had to say what she felt; she had to tell Shinji how she felt about him. If she didn't do it this time, she didn't know when she would have a chance. She took a deep breath. "I believe I am in love with you, Shinji."

Shinji, to say the least, was taken aback. His eyes went wide, almost impossibly so; his eyes seemed to jump from their sockets. His jaw dropped. "W-wha…w-w-wh…b-b-but…" He couldn't make any words come out. His mind and heart raced side-by-side, headed for a finish line that held the key to understanding what Rei had said. His mind soon crashed and burned, and his heart took a turn too fast, flying off of a cliff face.

It was all too sudden.

Shinji scrambled to his feet, almost falling backwards in the process. Rei quickly stood, worried that she had hurt him somehow. "Shinji! What is the matter?" she asked.

"I-I-I c-c-can't be h-h-here anymore!" He ran for the roof access door, throwing it open. "I'm sorry, Ayanami!" He flew down the stairs, away from Rei—away from her love.

Rei did not move. There was no time to catch up with Shinji. A flock of birds flew over the school, calling to each other. The wind picked up, though it was but a playful little breeze.

And the tears did not come. The pain was there—the pain of failure—and the tears did not come. Rei lay back down her head upon the gravel and gazed towards the heavens. The sky, bloody and limitless, gazed back. It knew of Rei's troubles. It knew she had tried her hardest. It shared her pain, it shared her despair and gloom. The sky knew of an unknown amount of troubles, felt by millions across the globe. It smiled sadly and took Rei's pain into itself, knowing that the human down there on the ground did not notice at all. The sky sighed and did its duty in silence.


	11. Sixth Movement

The evening sun had just set, and the light in Asuka's room was slowly fading. Having opened a window after Wondergirl left, the air wasn't nearly as hot and humid as it had been. Asuka had finally figured out the puzzle on her game, and had vanquished the evil boss at the end with one, elegant blow. She felt cheated though—the puzzle, though she thought it was complex and only a genius could figure it out, was actually quite simple, once she found out the pattern; she had just made it harder than it really was.

After all those hours of toiling over such a simple puzzle, Asuka was embarrassed, though there was no one to ridicule her difficulties. Shinji had left a little while after the _hexe _did, and Misato was still at NERV. It seemed Asuka had the house to herself for a bit, though this was more of a problem than that of freedom. She would have to cook for herself, now—or order something to be delivered. Either way, it was a bother to her; that idiot Shinji was supposed to cook for her every night.

The thought of food made her stomach send a gloomy grumble out. Asuka grumbled back at it, muttering something rude about its attitude. She turned off her television and, quite laboriously, got up from the mound of pillows she had been resting upon. She went to the kitchen, intent on finding something easy to cook. After searching the cupboards for a few minutes, Asuka found a nice cup of instant ramen. _Mmm, beefy yumminess,_ she thought. _And done in three minutes, too!_ She grinned, happy at her triumph over being deserted and left to fend for herself.

After filling the cup with some water, Asuka stuck the Styrofoam cup into the microwave, setting the time for three minutes. She sat at on the edge of the table, dangling her feet lightly while she waited for her food. The hum of the microwave was the only thing that disturbed the relative peace and quite of the house; this annoyed Asuka. She never liked the silence, never felt comfortable in it. She liked things to be noisy and chaotic, not quite and submissive.

The cooking time passed quickly, and the microwave gave its little beep, telling Asuka the food was ready. She took it out, peeled the lid off, and set it on the table. Sighing to herself, she went and procured a fork from the sink—one of the clean ones—and sat in a chair. She remembered that, not wanting to scald her mouth, she had to let the ramen sit for a few minutes to cool. She sighed again, a heavy thing, laden with annoyance. To pass the time, but mostly to get rid of the silence, Asuka sang a song to herself.

"Time to eat, time to eat,

Time to get my belly full.

I've waited long, waited long,

Too long for my taste.

Eat it up, eat it up.

Food, go in my tummy!

Get in there, get in there,

Before I tell your mommy."

Asuka giggled, enjoying her impromptu performance. So what if she was acting like a kid? Who was going to stop her, right? "No one's gonna stop me, that's who," she said to her cup o' noodles, right before she began devouring its contents. The ramen was cooled enough now, though it was still on the hot side of things. Once all the food was gone, Asuka threw away the cup and put her fork back into the sink. The beefy yumminess had sated her hunger, for the time being.

"_Verdammen Langeweile_," she grumbled as she leaned against the refrigerator. "_Was zu machen_?" Asuka pondered on what there was to do around this place. She had just beaten her game, so that wasn't an option, and she didn't have any other games that were interesting; she could always watch T.V., if she got desperate enough to be brainwashed by all the commercials that were played; she could catch up on some of her homework. Asuka scoffed at that idea as soon as it formed itself in her head. Oh, of course! She could take a bath. She hadn't bathed yet today, and it was pointless putting it off. In any case, it would relax her, which was key.

And so Asuka ventured into the bathroom. She closed the door, and took her clothes off. She dropped them all on the floor in an unceremonious pile, and moved to fill the bath. She turned on the hot water to full, with just a tad bit of cold to keep it from boiling. _Wait a second—why do I need the door closed when no one is here?_ Asuka wondered. She went and opened the door, leaving it ajar.

All that was breaking the silence was the plunging of the water into the tub, and although this was relatively loud, Asuka was still uncomfortable. So she decided to sing another song to expunge the damnable silence.

"Time to bathe, time to bathe,

Time to wash my body clean.

I've waited long, waited long,

Too long for my taste.

Hurry up, hurry up,

I haven't got much time.

Get in the bath, you stupid water.

Soon you will be mine!"

Another epic opera composed by Asuka. She took a bow to her audience, which consisted of the door and her towel, and smiled. Having a day off sure did release the tension that had been building in her; it let her relax and be herself for once, though being alone helped her unwind as well.

The tub was almost full, so she turned off the faucet and tested the water. "Ha, just the right temperature for my beautiful skin to rest in!" Asuka stepped into the bath and slowly laid down her weary head. The hot water surrounded and engulfed her body, sending a chill up her spine—it felt good. She swirled around her hands a little bit, watching the water twirl about.

Looking at the door, Asuka couldn't help but feel a little disconcerted. She had never really had the chance to bathe when no one was at the apartment, and so this was the first time she had left the door open. She wasn't used to it, and thought that someone would walk in with no warning, and see her naked.

Though that wouldn't be a bad thing, in some cases. If, say, Kaji were to come over for some reason and find Asuka there, she wouldn't mind a bit. She'd probably invite him to join her, really. She blushed at what that would inevitably lead to.

Hell, Asuka wouldn't even mind it if that spineless waste-o'-flesh Shinji came in and saw her. She was trying to get closer to him anyway, so why not let him have a little taste of what she had to offer?

Thinking of Shinji led Asuka to think about Wondergirl, that damnable _Schlampe_. She and her blue hair just pissed Asuka off. It wasn't only that she had flirted with Shinji earlier that day, but the way she changed her personality so suddenly was ridiculous. Before that, Asuka had hated her because she was an emotionless wind-up doll that would do anything to please Gendo. Now, it seemed, she had a will of her own, and was finally expressing her feelings.

Asuka had been noticing that Wondergirl had been changing over the past few weeks, even if these shifting patterns of behavior were incredibly minute; only one who studied the pilot would notice them. Asuka had seen that the wench was falling in love with Shinji, though she couldn't express it, and was definitely confused about her feelings. This was just not acceptable. If the First Child were to start dating Shinji, then that would mean she was better than Asuka—it would mean that Asuka was inferior to a doll. And so Shinji was to be hers. If she was able to get Shinji's love and attention, then she would forever prove she was better than Wondergirl _and_ her stupid blue hair.

Confidant in her abilities to seduce an idiot like the Third Child, Asuka resumed her bath in joy. After washing herself and playing around a bit more, she got out and dried off. She decided to drain the tub—the others wouldn't be here in time to still bathe in the water while it was still warm. Asuka started for her clothes, but had a thought midway. _If no one's here, what's the use of putting clothes on?_ She grabbed the pile and began for her room.

It was weird, walking around naked, just like it had been weird bathing with the bathroom door open. A part of Asuka was nervous that someone would walk out and see her, but another part would enjoy having someone see her body. She certainly wasn't ugly in any sense, and even though she was still growing, her figure was damn impressive for someone her age. Hell, it was impressive for girls _older_ than her, too. She cupped her breasts, feeling and examining them in happiness. Asuka smiled in appreciation of her body—she was better than other girls.

After a minute or two of doing some nude poses in the hallway, Asuka finally got to her room. She tossed her clothes in the corner, where they joined a heap of other dirty garments. The sun had set by now, leaving the room dark. Not bothering to flick on a light or close the door, Asuka laid down upon her back on the bed, hands resting on her stomach. A thin layer of sweat and water not picked up by her towel covered her body Had the sun been in the sky, or had a light been on, her body would have seemed to be made of sparkling diamonds. The reflective light would have played in the viewers eyes, enchanting him to believe that this was indeed heaven.

But sadly, no such person was there to take in Asuka's naked body. She sighed—why couldn't Kaji or Shinji be here? Kaji would make some innuendo about the whole thing, and lay down with her. Shinji, however, would probably freak out and shut his eyes as tight as they would go. But to tell the truth, Asuka would have enjoyed Shinji being there more than Kaji. After all, it was _über_ fun playing around with Shinji's mind when he was nervous.

The silence closed in about the naked girl in her room, but she didn't care this time. She was thinking about how she would get Shinji to love her, and how great that victory would be. As she schemed, her eyelids grew heavy, and soon she was fast asleep. When Shinji finally returned home, he found Asuka lying there, still naked, and still proud of it. He blushed and turned to escape; but once he realized she was indeed asleep, he stayed around for a bit, gazing at Asuka through the veil that the Lady Darkness had placed down upon the world. Shinji wasn't aroused though, not in the slightest; he studied Asuka to see the pure, unrelenting beauty of the female shape, not to get off on it. _Most guys don't think that way,_ he said to himself. _Poor bastards._

Shinji went to his room feeling content with his life, and was soon asleep.


	12. Neurosis: I

**A/N: I've been using some psychoanalytical / Freudian lingo with the chapter titles, i.e. Eros and, now, Neurosis. To get the real meaning out of these names, head to Wikipedia and look 'em up—if you don't already know they're meanings, that is.**

Shinji woke slowly, opening his eyes every few minutes to confirm that it really was morning. The sun was shining right into his room, outlining the window frame in bright exuberance on his floor. The alarm clock had gone off a few hours earlier, but Shinji had unplugged it after the rude _beep beep beep _it so vehemently gave to the world almost pushed him over the edge. It was Sunday—no school, no tests, no fighting—so he wanted to sleep in, for a change. It was also a good time to sleep because the children got Monday off, too—something about a regional teacher's conference or something. Asuka had come in a while after the clock died to yell at him for not making breakfast; he shrugged her off, though, and snuggled back into his sheets. She gave up, eventually, and went to fend for herself.

It was just about eleven in the morning as Shinji lay in his bed, feeling unexpectedly comfortable and content in nothing but his boxers. He hadn't the energy or the inclination to get into his pajamas once he had come home last night; he had just wanted to go to sleep. After Rei had surprised him so, Shinji had wandered around the city for hours. He hadn't had a goal to reach, nor a place he was really headed to; he just walked, hands in his pockets, eyes on the ground in front of him, thinking about Rei. She said she was in love with him. She had barely talked with him for more than five minute at a time before, and had never shown any signs of love towards him. Even when he went to her apartment to help with her physics homework, she just listened to his instructions. Not once did she bring up something outside of the work; no talk of the weekend or NERV or Asuka—just a few quiet questions on a certain formula, a certain law. So why, all of a sudden, did she love him?

It made Shinji's head hurt, thinking about it. It made his heart ache a little, too, though he took that as the regular, general anxiousness that held onto his being with sharp, steel claws. He sat up, letting the sheet uncover his bare torso. He brought up a hand to rub the sleep from his eyes, yawning all the while. It was late, for Shinji—he should have been up at six, getting ready for the day. _No use crying over spilled milk,_ he thought as he got out of bed and searched for some pants. A pair of shorts was soon found in his dresser, along with a nice, loose-fitting T-shirt. Shinji pulled on the clothes, and ventured to the great unknown beyond his room.

After searching the apartment for a minute, Asuka didn't show up. Neither did Misato, though that didn't worry him as much. Shinji went to the kitchen and found two notes on the table: _About time you woke up, idiot! I'm going to Hikari's house for a while, and then we're coming back here. Put some clothes on before we get back!!_ This one was signed as "Asuka the Valkyrie", in big, bold letters, with a few lightning bolts drawn in for emphasis. The other said, in a quick scrawl that was barely legible: _I'm out with Kaji for the day. Might not be back for dinner._ Shinji grabbed the notes, crumpled them, and threw them in the trash. He took a look around the room; it was messy, just as he had thought it would be. Asuka and Misato were on cleaning duty, and, lo' and behold, they "forgot" to do it. If Hikari was coming over, then he'd better clean up a bit. Shinji definitely didn't want a guest to think he was untidy.

So he went about, picking up wrappers and beer cans, wiping the counters and the table, and putting the dishes away. After thirty short minutes, he was done, and the place was spotless. A pang was felt in Shinji's stomach as he put away the last of the plates; that's right, he hadn't eaten yet! Now what was there for him to eat?

"Oh, please, please, PLEASE be there!" he said as he moved for the cupboard. Inside was a glorious box of Colonel Balph's Choco-Yummins, just waiting to be eaten. Shinji smiled as he grabbed the Yummins—this was his favorite cereal, and he was afraid Asuka might have eaten it all before he had a chance to savor its delectable morsels of incarnate happy. Within a blink of an eye, he was at the table, pouring the milk into the bowl that held his precious Yummins. And so began the feast, though it was all over in a scant few minutes, with Shinji feeling good and full. He didn't mind so much that Asuka and Misato had forgotten to clean, now that the Yummins were swimming in his tummy. He leaned back in his chair and smiled, clasping his hands upon his stomach.

The silence was broken when he heard the two girls returning from Hikari's house, approaching the door. They were laughing uproariously—rather Asuka was, Hikari wasn't _too _loud—and Shinji could hear them from inside the house. He stood, not wanting to be seen slacking off and relaxing, and started to put way his dishes and the Yummins.

Sliding open, the door let in the two girls, Asuka in the lead with a plastic bag in her hands, Hikari smiling warmly in the background. Shinji overheard Asuka say that she thought he was still in bed, and that they should pull a trick on him; he deserved it anyway, she said, for not making her breakfast. Shinji, not ten feet away, could hear it all perfectly. He sighed as he finished washing his bowl. "Asuka, I'm awake. Don't think I can't hear you over there," he called. He heard a whispered "_Scheiß_," and was soon greeted by the two girls. They walked into the kitchen and stood, appraising him, like he was some kind of artifact in a museum.

"Nice outfit," Asuka said, snidely. "Did you get my note?"

"Yes, I did. What did you two do?"

"We went and got this new game. It's gonna be awesome." She turned to leave, but paused. "You wanna play with us?"

_Play with those two? Asuka would be too loud for me to think, and Hikari is…well, I guess she's not too bad. But still, I have better things to do. _"No thanks. I'm going to be working on my cello after I finish cleaning up here."

Hikari piped in. "Well, if you want to come and join us, I'm sure it'd be alright. Don't feel that you aren't allowed in Asuka's room." She giggled and pushed a shocked Asuka out of the kitchen and down the hall. Shinji could hear Asuka arguing with her friend after they had closed the door. She said something about never wanting a stupid pervert boy in her room, and that he would kill all the fun that they were going to have—even though she had just invited him to join them.

Shinji shrugged off that last part. She didn't seem to have any problems when they were alone yesterday. He blushed, remembering her sudden need to fling her shirt off. He still didn't understand why she couldn't have just opened one of her windows.

He decided to dismiss such complicated matters and go relax with his cello. He'd almost perfected the Prelude now, though he still had to play it at a slower tempo than what Bach had wanted it to be played at. He had been learning the next part of the suite, the Allemande, and was progressing quickly through the music. It was quite a bit longer than the Prelude, almost 1/3 longer, really, but the task did not daunt him. After getting situated in his room, Shinji brought up his bow and began playing the grand music.

Asuka growled as she heard the cello. "Why does he always have to practice when I'm home?" she complained to no one in particular. She felt a little guilty after saying it, though. It wasn't like Shinji was a bad musician, or that she didn't enjoy the music he played; she guessed it was just a conditioned reaction after living with Shinji for these long months.

"You shouldn't be so mean to him, Asuka," Hikari said, sitting on the bed. "He never makes fun of you or anything, so what's the point in teasing him?"

She had to think a moment to come up with a reasonable answer. "Well, it's because he's an idiot, and if I don't remind him every now and again, he gets arrogant, and even more stupid. A stereotypical male, I'd say." Asuka dismissed the lie she had told and started playing the new game. She and Hikari were soon immersed in the new characters, the plot, the battles, the new world they had jumped in to, and had forgotten about Shinji and his cello. But every now and again, Asuka would snap back into this world, and hear the evolving music coming from his room. Whenever this happened, she felt bad about telling Hikari that lie about how he was an idiot. Of course, she really did think that, some times; but as of late, it seemed like Shinji wasn't being as stupid as usual; it seemed like he was actually a really nice person, a person you could care for.

And every time Asuka would think this, she'd say to herself, "What the hell am I talking about?" and go back to the game.

Time passed as the great Hourglass slowly spilled sand upon the universe. These tiny crystals of light showered and covered everything, permeating all matter, all thought, all consciousness. Though Shinji could not feel these small beings entering and flowing through him and his cello, he sensed them. When he played music, he could feel the universe around him sing in splendor; he could feel his surroundings vibrate with the glory of what he created with that strange, wooden thing called a cello. In his subconscious, Shinji knew what was happening around him; those realizations were soon squashed by his mind, however. Those types of revelations were dangerous, his mind knew, and by destroying them, it was saving this poor human from utter destruction at the hands of Time.

Wiping his brow, Shinji leaned back in his chair, very happy with the progress he had made today. He looked at the clock—unfortunately, he had forgotten to plug it back in after the incident in the morning. Putting his cello aside, he plugged the clock in, only to get the time at which he had stuck out at the machine. Shinji shook his head, mad at himself for being so lazy. He left his room and ventured to the kitchen. He could hear Asuka and Hikari down the hall, yelling at the game and at each other, exclaiming that the A.I. must hack or something, since it was so damned good. "Girls," Shinji said to himself, shaking his head once again. The clock in the kitchen said it was two in the afternoon, so Shinji decided to have some lunch. Soon after he had gotten out the things he needed to make some soup, the girls came out of their cave.

"What, were you gonna make lunch just for yourself, Shinji?" Asuka asked as she took a seat. "How selfish of you."

"I'm sorry," he said, rather sheepishly.

"Come on, Asuka. It looks like he just got out here himself. There's no need to badger him about it." Hikari said, coming to his defense.

"Y-yeah, that's right. I was going to finish making the lunch, then ask you two to eat with me. I didn't want to make you wait…"

Asuka grunted, cradling her chin in her hand and leaning on the table. "Well, do you need any help?" she asked, surprising the other two. Asuka lending a helping hand to Shinji, of all people? It must be "Help Your Fellow Eva Pilot" day, or something.

"U-um…sure." Shinji began to cut up some vegetables, and told Asuka to put the pot on the stove to boil some water with. Hikari sat down, watching the two work. After the water was sufficiently hot, Shinji added the diced veggies, and told Asuka to put some bullion in the pot as well. After twenty or so minutes, the lunch was ready, and the three ate together. Not much was said between them, though there wasn't a blanket of awkward silence covering them. Once finished, Asuka helped with the dishes—another surprise.

"So how long are you going to be here, Hikari?" Shinji asked. "Not that you aren't welcome," he quickly added.

"She's staying for the night," Asuka answered. "How 'bout you? What're your plans?"

"Oh, well, I was just going to stay here. I guess I'll keep practicing in my room…" Shinji gloomily said. He enjoyed the music and the knowledge he was getting better as a musician, but that was no way to spend yet another weekend evening. Toji and Kensuke were out with their families for the three-day break, though, so it wasn't like he could go to a friend's house to hang out.

As Shinji was walking back to his room, Hikari nudged Asuka and whispered, "Can't he come in with us? He seems so lonely."

A small smile shown on Asuka's lips, and a light laugh came from her. "Do you really think he would want to be around us _girls_?" she whispered back. "If he wants to come with us, then let him do it on his own initiative. Now let's get back to gaming!"

And so Shinji stayed in his room, playing the Prelude and Allemande over and over, by himself. The girls stayed in their room, and kept yelling and having fun. Shinji stopped playing after a few hours, had some dinner by himself, and then decided to go to bed; there wasn't anything else to do, really. He listened to his SDAT as he fell asleep, not thinking about anything, not worrying about anything.

In the morning, Shinji started on some homework, though it wasn't due for another week. Once the girls came out for breakfast, they were both dressed in they're pajamas with tired faces. They didn't get much sleep last night, it seemed. They had probably gone to bed around three in the morning, figuring that to pull an all-nighter meant that they wouldn't get any beauty sleep at all. Shinji asked how the game was going, and Asuka wearily said that it was pretty tough, though they were still getting through it with good time. Nothing else was said during the meal.

With nothing to do, Shinji sat at the kitchen table doing homework. Around noon, Hikari left, thanking him for being such a kind host. Asuka wandered around for a bit, looking a little lost, and finally planted herself in the living room on a pile of pillows. With the T.V. in the background, Shinji couldn't concentrate all that well, and gave up on his homework soon thereafter. He didn't want to ask Asuka to turn the television off or down—more than likely, that would get him a nice thrashing from the girl still in her pajamas. Shinji leaned back in his chair, looking at the ceiling, not knowing what else to do.

The T.V. suddenly quit spewing out its obnoxious announcements for this wonderful product, or that magnificent invention, or how if you acted quickly, you could save thousands. Shinji turned his head to see Asuka walking into the kitchen. She sat down across from him, looking just as bored as he. The two sat in silence for a while, not looking at each other, but only gazing off into the distance.

"Shinji," Asuka finally said, "why don't we go get some ice cream? It's really boring here."

Shocked to hear that Asuka actually wanted to be with him, Shinji looked wide-eyed at her. "What? You mean me? And you?" He licked his dry lips with his dry tongue. "Together?"

She sat up straight, looking hurt. "If you don't want to go with me, just say it. You don't have to beat around the bush."

"No, no! I do want to go with you. You just surprised me."

"Great. I know of a cool place we can go. Come on!" Asuka leapt from the chair and headed for the door.

"Asuka! You're still in your pajamas, and I'd like to change, too." Shinji was wearing some old shorts and a pretty ragged-looking shirt—not something he'd like to be seen in public with.

"Ah, of course!" Asuka said, turning and running to her room. "I'll be right out!" she said as she closed the door.

Shinji went to his own room, excited about actually doing something after so many hours of doing absolutely nothing. He put on a pair of jeans, a dark undershirt, and a brilliantly white collared shirt over the top, tucking both into his pants. After a minute of tidying his hair as well, he went back into the kitchen.

"You almost ready?" he called to Asuka. A muffled voice behind the door said that she would be out soon enough.

Soon enough turned out to be fifteen minutes. Shinji sat on the table, waiting for Asuka to get out of her room. What was taking her so long? All she had to do was slip off two pieces of clothing, and slip into another two pieces. It had taken Shinji less than five minutes to get ready—what the hell was taking her so long?

The door finally opened, revealing Asuka in the dress she wore when the two pilots had first met. The simple yellow garment looked ravishing on her, though. Shinji noticed her hair wasn't a mass of tangles anymore, but nicely put back like she usually wore it. She smiled at him and, making her way for the exit, said, "Right, let's go!"

Once the two were out on the street, Asuka insisted that the ice cream parlor that she wanted to go to wasn't very far away, and that riding a train wouldn't be any fun anyway. They walked next to each other, Shinji hesitant and making sure they never got too close, Asuka striding playfully beside him, humming a little tune to herself. Once, she glanced over at him, smiled a sly smile, and began to hum the Prelude.

Shinji thought she was making fun of him. She was humming that song because he played it so much, it got stuck in her head. He had to practice so much at it because he was such a failure, that the song had been permanently engraved into Asuka's mind. "I-I'm sorry…" he said, cowering a little and slowing down.

"What?" Asuka asked, confused. "What's wrong?" She stopped walking and faced him, demanding an answer. She was a wrathful sentry in Shinji's path, blocking his way to freedom. Or at least that's what _he_ thought.

"I got that song stuck in your head from playing it so much. That's why I'm apologizing…"

"So you're saying it's a bad thing?" Putting her hands on her hips, Asuka peered down at him. "I was humming it because I like it so much. I really like it when you play the cello—it's really relaxing, most of the time."

This brought Shinji's eyes up to meet hers. She _liked_ it? "S-so, you don't mind that I practice as much as I do?"

"What are you, stupid?" she said jokingly. "I love it when you play. Hey, maybe you could play a few songs for me when we get home!"

"Y-yeah, s-sure—I'd enjoy that."

"Cool! But first, let's go get that ice cream!" Asuka began walking again, and started up the humming as well. After that, Shinji felt light-hearted knowing that she liked his music. He had always thought it annoyed her, the way she would belittle him about it sometimes. It was fantastic that she wanted to have him play for her, though, and this fact put a small spring into his step.

A short, twenty minute walk brought the couple to the parlor they'd been seeking. It was a plain two-story building on the corner of the street, looking small because it was surrounded by looming apartment complexes. A great ice cream cone was painted onto a part of the main window, which made up part of a wall. A few people could be seen through the window, sitting at the small, round tables, enjoying the flavor they'd picked. Two small children ran about the place, the bigger chasing the smaller, and both were having a great time with their game of tag.

Shinji pushed open one of the windowed doors for Asuka, letting her go in first. A cool breeze flowed from inside, taking some of the heat from the customer's bodies. Asuka went in, thanking Shinji for holding the door. He followed, carried by the coy look in her eyes.

Asuka ordered a double scoop of mint chocolate ice cream, and Shinji decided on a scoop of vanilla. He grabbed for his wallet, and pulled out enough money to pay for both of them, but Asuka had already produced enough money for her ice cream. She smiled, saying, "It's only fair that I pay for what I ordered." Shinji would have gladly paid for both of their ice creams—he didn't do much else with the monthly "allowance" he got from NERV. Asuka headed for the door, saying that they should walk and eat. Shinji followed, wanting to do whatever she wanted.

Once outside, Asuka stood on the corner, looking this way and that, trying to make up her mind as to where to go now. "Oh! Let's go to Nagura Park!" she suggested, already walking toward the place. Shinji followed, wanting to go wherever she wanted to. He took his place beside her again, and started the joyous task of eating his ice cream.

The sun shone down upon the two with increasing intensity. It only seemed to get hotter the longer they walked, despite the wonderful yumminess they were both eating. Not many people crowded the streets these days, so the two pilots were able to take up most of the sidewalk on their journey.

They walked in silence as they headed for the park, licking at the ice cream with earnest. Once Shinji was almost done with his, Asuka spoke. "Misato's still with Kaji, huh? Musta been a long night." She took a lick of her ice cream. She had about a scoop left, and looked at it suspiciously. "I don't get those two. Misato says she hates him, but then she always hangs off of him. He doesn't seem to notice though, ya know? He just pats her head and says, 'Good girl.'" Shinji looked over at her, not knowing why she was talking about those two. "Adults are so weird sometimes," she said with a sigh. While she was talking, the ice cream was slowly melting and dripping onto her hand. She looked at the imposter liquid, then drew her tongue across it, licking it all up. Shinji stared at her doing this, as if he was watching it in slow motion. Her tongue moved so slowly across her hand, then once it finally got across, it flicked up a little, losing the object it was so passionately pushing against. Shinji grew red, thinking about Asuka like that. He snapped his head forward, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

Looking at the rest of her ice cream, she thrust it out at Shinji. "Here, I don't want the rest of this. Do you?" Startled, he fumbled with his own cone and dropped it. Asuka giggled slightly, and insisted that he take her remaining ice cream. He took it, looking at the perfect hemisphere of what was left—she had molded it into that shape with her tongue. Shinji reddened even further.

He soon finished the mint chocolate ice cream, and devoured the sugary cone. Wiping his hands, he looked up the street. Nagura Park was just up ahead; they had reached the lush oasis in this burning city. They entered the park, walking under an iron-wrought arch and big oaks shading the path. A small grove of trees—asp, willow and cherry—stood solemnly to the right of the path the two were on, while an open field with low, rolling hills was to the left. The leaves and grass in the park were almost all perfect shades of green, despite the heat of the day. A playground was seen across the field, and Asuka shouted and ran for it. Shinji followed, seeing what she saw. They ran across the grass, both laughing with carefree comfort and child-like appreciation of simple things like the swings they were fast approaching.

Right off, Asuka dove into a swing and started up. "Push me, Shinji!" she called out. He got behind her and grabbed onto the chains. He started to push, but was obviously having difficulties. "No, you have to push on my back!" Asuka said, correcting his error. He said he was sorry and started the pushing over. He didn't want to hurt her, or make her feel uncomfortable; so he pushed, but not too hard, and he tried to get his hands on her shoulder blades, not too far down. Once the swing gained momentum, though, this was almost impossible, and soon Shinji would have to grab Asuka's hindquarters to get her any higher. She called for more altitude, though; she _insisted_ he push her higher. What choice did he have? He swallowed, pushing down the nervousness and uncertainty that was creeping up his throat. Asuka came swinging back, calling again for more height. There was no way to get out of this one. She came closer and closer, quickly in reality, slowly in Shinji's eyes. He brought up his hands, ready to push off of Asuka's round behind. Contact was made between the two, and Shinji got ready for a harsh scolding. He pushed, closing his eyes, waiting for the shocked exclamation to arise from Asuka. He waited—and it never came. He opened his eyes, seeing Asuka swinging gleefully, not a hint of a scowl on her face, not a clue of any violence in her body.

He had touched her…down there…but she hadn't gotten mad! What glorious knowledge, this was! Shinji waited for Asuka to come swinging back, and pushed again, harder this time, but still basically grabbing her ass. She laughed as she was propelled onward. Soon, she was telling Shinji how great it was, swinging around like a kid again. She told him to join her in this new-found happiness, and he gladly complied. Both were now swinging, innocently ecstatic in such simple joy.

Asuka slowed down, and eventually planted her feet on the ground, stopping the swing. Shinji slowed as well, but kept swinging ever so slightly. She looked at him, grinning from ear to ear. "I remember back when I was in Germany, I used to play on the swings like this. It used to be so much fun!" The grin failed, and began creeping into a dejected frown. "That was a long time ago. That was before my mother died."

Shinji stopped swinging, looking at Asuka. "I never really played on swings when I was little. After my father left, I just kinda stayed by myself. I lived with my uncle for a few years, but I never _lived_ with him. We ate together, lived under the same roof, all that; but we never played. We never had fun together." He looked at the ground, saddened by the memories. "I didn't have any friends back then, so I couldn't play with the other kids."

Asuka stood and walked to the grass, sauntering out into the field a bit, with Shinji following behind. She then lay down, careful to keep her dress covering up her legs. She patted the grass beside her, letting Shinji know it was alright to lie next to her. He hesitantly went prone, trying not to get too close to her.

"I'm sorry that I brought up our childhood. It seems the past brings nothing but pain," she said quietly. Shinji groped for something to say, but nothing he thought of would have sounded right. So he said nothing, but looked up into the vast blue expanse that was above. The grass ruffled. Shinji turned his head, making his own ruffle. Asuka looked at him with teary eyes. She wasn't crying yet, but if things kept going they way they were, she would be soon enough.

And Shinji couldn't do anything. Nothing he could say would help, he figured. Nothing he could do would console this poor girl in lying next to him.

A drop of water hit him on the arm. He looked at it, then the sky—no rain clouds to be seen. Another drop hit him, and another and another. Shinji sat up, looking around.

"Asuka, the sprinklers! We're going to get all wet!" He stood and started to jog for the swings, where he wouldn't get hit with the water. Asuka stood soon after him, but stayed where she was. A grin quietly, but with growing fervor, grew on her face until her teeth flashed in the afternoon sun.

The water was soon shooting from the sprinkler heads, covering the field with sustenance—and covering Asuka as well. She laughed, head turned to the sky as the water rained down upon her, hit her on the legs, on the back, on the chest. She ran around, arms spread out. She called to Shinji, imploring him to join her in this wonderful game. _She looks so happy,_ he thought. _It looks like she isn't worrying about her mother anymore._ He watched Asuka running about in the water for a moment. _What the hell, why not?_

Shinji ran into the deluge, almost slipping on the wet grass as soon as he stepped upon it. He soon found his feet, though, and chased after Asuka, laughing along with her. She ran now, but playfully, elegantly, wistfully, like a faerie playing in her forest. He followed, slipping on the grass whenever he took a sharp turn, getting completely soaked. Asuka never fell though, no matter how hard she turned—still, she was just as wet as Shinji. Their clothes were sticking to them, which was comfortable, for some unknown reason; it felt like they were kids again. This was their time to relive that horrible time, but with a twist. They could now have the fun they never did when they were little, when what they truly needed was to enjoy simple pleasures like swings and running through sprinklers.

Asuka wheeled around after Shinji had fallen, flying around like a plane. She closed in, looking straight into Shinji's eyes. He quickly stood, not know what she was planning.

"Here it comes…" she said, softly enough that he could barely hear her, but avidly enough that the sprinklers didn't drown her out. She dug in her heels, sliding right in front of Shinji, but never quite stopping. She gazed into his brown eyes, brought her face close to his, reached with her lips for his.

An electric shock flew through his eyes, an invisible hand pushed back his head ever so slowly, an unknown weight pulled his mouth open slightly. Asuka was millimeters away when she saw all this happen at once. _So that's how it is?_ She quickly spun, pulling her face away from Shinji's, and losing balance. She slipped and fell backwards onto her back with a thud.

Shinji turned, not quite realizing what had happened. "Are you alright?" he said, though he laughed at the same time. He put his hands on his knees, bending down to see if Asuka was hurt—still giggling a bit, of course. He offered his hand.

Asuka grabbed it, planting her feet as best she could. She grinned an evil little grin and pulled Shinji down with her. They collapsed onto the ground in a fit of laughter until both had to wipe water and tears from their eyes.

"Right," Asuka said, "let's get out of this water and try to dry off!"

They scrambled to the other side of the field to a path, Asuka trying to trip Shinji the entire time, Shinji trying to get ahead of her the entire time. Both smiling and laughing in such unbridled happiness, a passing couple glanced at them and had to laugh a bit themselves. What strange people, they were, standing in dripping wet clothes and laughing about it.

The sun was dropping low in the sky now, covering everything with a yellowish-orange color. Shinji and Asuka walked, heading for the pier to watch the sunset. Shinji glanced at Asuka, walking next to him. The dress she wore was now covered in grass stains, and it looked like it was painted onto her skin. He couldn't help but stare at her curves, so voluptuously outlined as they were. Asuka knew he was staring, and let him do it. He looked her up and down, taking in her marvelous figure slowly and deliberately.

Asuka flashed a coy grin and looked at Shinji from the corner of her eye. A light laugh escaped, throaty and seducing. Shinji instantly turned a bright crimson and snapped upright, looking at the ground. _Good,_ Asuka thought. _He's finally noticed me._

By the time the pier came into view, the two weren't exactly wet anymore, but more like pleasantly damp. The sun was just beginning to hide behind the far horizon as they began their slow meandering on the boardwalk. Painting the landscape in a blood-orange color, the sun began saying its farewells to this part of the world. Asuka and Shinji walked side-by-side, their long shadows accompanying them to the side. The waves washing up against the pier was all that broke the silence, calmly enthralling in their meticulous rhythm.

"An Angel hasn't attacked for a while," Asuka said. "It's nice that they finally gave us a chance to rest."

Shinji nodded, quietly agreeing.

"I wonder what Gendo does on his off time. He's such a stony person, I don't think he can even have fun."

Talking about his father didn't sound like fun to Shinji, and he tensed up a fraction.

"A better question is what Wondergirl does on her off time," Asuka said. "I bet she just sits in her apartment, staring at the wall." A flock of seagulls swept past the pilots, heading for their nests, squawking noisily. Asuka watched them for a time. "You know, I tried to be her friend, but then I realized that she doesn't care about people. So I stopped trying, figuring that I'd only eventually be hurt by her cold way of dealing with people." She suddenly stopped, turning and grabbing Shinji's hand. "But I know you wouldn't hurt me like that, Shinji. I know you'd be gentle and kind to me."

He nodded his stunned agreement, not knowing if he should grab her hand back, or leave it limp in her grasp. Before he could decide, she lowered her arm to her side, still holding his hand, and pulled him to the wooden railing of the boardwalk. They stood there, holding hands, in a sacred kind of silence. Shinji now held fervently onto Asuka's hand, not wanting to let go. He inched closer to her, trying not to be secretive about it, but trying to be inconspicuous at the same time.

But she noticed, and turned. Not saying anything, she took Shinji's other hand in hers, and pulled him close. They're noses were almost touching, with Asuka's eyes locked onto Shinji's. She looked deep into those eyes, peering right into his soul, finding what he desired the most. With the sun outlining the young teenagers, Asuka leaned forward, pulling Shinji's lips close.


	13. Substantia

The silent, sacred moon floated above the earth, serene in its beauty as its brothers, the stars, twinkled down upon the earth, treating the watchful passer-by to a most wonderful show. Not a breeze was felt outside; no troublesome mutts ran the streets, barking and causing general discontent; the wise old owl sat perched in his tree, monitoring his dominion, taking note of the changes that had occurred whilst he slept. Silence and peace was omnipotent in this land, so very far away.

Two gentlemen enjoyed this peace in a grand mansion set upon a cliff overlooking the sea. They lounged in the drawing room, content with their lives and accomplishments. This room, although not the largest room in the house, was still a very comfortable size, allowing the men to relax in genteel abundance. The floor was of the most wonderful walnut; in the center of the room, a single diamond was made within the wood, and, radiating out from it, a whole series of these diamonds covered the entire floor. The walls, being of the same dark wood, stretched up to that of the height of almost three men. Along the doorways and about the room ornate carvings decorated the wood, depicting hunting scenes, autumn evenings, wonderful castles from Europe, rushing waterfalls from the jungles of Asia. Old maps of lands that only the master of the house knew of were framed upon the walls, showing the passing guest fantastic places, thousands of miles away. The ceiling had been painted to look like a midsummer's day sky, with fluffy clouds scattered across the blue. A fireplace sat in the corner, happily burning several logs within its womb. The flames had died low, as of late, though the den was still quite warm—not too hot, but not cold enough to require feeding the hungry fire any more wood. Upon the mantle above the fireplace hung a great rack of antlers, doubtless one of the biggest a man would ever see. An ivory horn hung below this, along with an old, antiqued shotgun. A bearskin rug lay before the fire, accompanied by three plush and cushioned chairs. The great hunter who had harvested those amazing antlers had also captured the bear from which this wonderful rug was made. A small bar, a hemisphere of mahogany, jutted out from the near-by wall, housing all of the most delicate liquors—such things as vintage bourbon from England; rugged scotch from the Scottish highlands; Cognac from the rolling plains of France.

Across the room, away from the warming fire, book shelves lined the walls. Hundreds upon hundreds of old volumes were kept here—books on philosophy, on science, on mathematics, on religion—on everything a body would care to read about, if one had the time. An old, dusty couch sat lonely in the dark, not having been sat on in quite a few years. Two chairs, neither cushioned nor by any means comfortable, were situated about a chess table, where a game had been underway before the sun had set. Now, with not enough light, the players had had to leave the game as it was—the next morning, they were sure to finish, playing just as slowly and carefully as they had earlier that day.

One of the men stood over the board, hands clasped behind his back. The other was fixing himself a drink across the room. That man called: "Care for a drink? There's some fantastic brandy here that I'm sure you'd like."

"I think not," this man called back. "Drinking leads to nothing but embarrassing mistakes and a sore head in the morning."

"Ah, well your loss, friend!" The gentleman sipped at his drink for a moment, then went to rest in one of the chairs about the fire. Over there, the room was bathed in an orange light that promised solace and warmth. On the other side of the room, the light failed, and the blue tinge of darkness enveloped the place. The orange man spoke: "I do so love this chair. So comfortable, it is! Verily, I could lay back and sleep the day away in pleasure, in this chair."

The blue man spoke gruffly. "Time is not to be wasted. Lazing about all day will get you nowhere in life."

An airy laugh escaped the orange man's throat. The spirits burned, but slid all the way down to his core to warm him. "Come now, join me in this drink! You have not the slightest idea as to how wonderful it feels when it drips down into your soul!" He tinkled the glass, inviting the other man to come over.

"I told you once—drinking is wrong. There's nothing to gain from it," came the reply. The blue man was getting annoyed at this point. "Why don't you join me over here? There's a wonderful game of chess to be played, or you could even take one of these dusty old tomes off the wall, and begin reading! Come, are you not interested in the least about Aristotle and Plato, or Pythagoras, or Descartes?"

"Bah! I've no time for such ponderings. Besides, I know not of any of those men you listed, and, frankly, don't give a damn." The firelight played in Orange's eyes. "But would you look at that! Fire never ceases to amaze a man, does it? Always changing, always morphing into such beautiful shapes…" He was lost in the playful flames, a faint grin upon his face.

Taking a seat at one of the chess chairs, Blue sighed, looking across the room. "You know you shouldn't daydream like that. A mind goes to waste when it ponders upon such things. Besides, fire is dangerous and unruly—it can't be controlled forever. Best stay away from it, I say."

The warning slid off of the other man's interest. He stood of a sudden, tossing the half-emptied glass over his shoulder. It crashed against the floor, sending glass and brandy spraying across the floor. A wild look of joy glinted in Orange's wide eyes. "Ah! but look at this rug!" He quickly took his slippers off, tossing them away, one landing in the fire. Wiggling his toes into the silky bear fur, he giggled in delight. "This feels so good! Ah, just think what it would feel like to lay upon this rug naked!" He shivered at the thought. "Oh! And to make love on it would be absolute ecstasy!"

The shadowed man leapt out of his chair. "What in the blazes are you doing? Your slipper is on fire, you know!" He took a step forward. "And that glass! There're shards of it everywhere now! What if someone steps on a piece? Their feet will be lacerated!" At the fire, the other man was now lying down on the rug, rolling around in its softness. "Now stop that! You're behaving like a child, don't you know!"

Like a wild beast from a mysterious land depicted in the framed maps, the orange man stood. His hackles were raised, his arms tense, his figure hunched. He let loose a scream that chilled the other man's blood, and ran across the room. He grabbed the chess table, flinging the pieces everywhere as he picked it up. His eyes were glowing with a red tinge, violence emanating outward from his entire being. He raised the table above his head, and brought it down upon one of the chairs. Wood splintered everywhere, showering both men. "Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!" he bellowed, out of control in his rage. He threw the table across the room, knocking over the cushioned chairs in one toss. He rushed to the nearest book shelf and ripped the books out, tearing the pages asunder when he paused enough to do so.

Standing there, frightened, the other man could do nothing but watch the violence.

This side of the room was littered with destroyed books and the fragments of what used to be the old couch and the chess table by the time the raging man quit his rampage. "Ah, well I do admit that was a spot of fun!" he said as he crossed back to the fire.

"What in the bloody hell are you thinking?! The books…! The chess table…! The chairs…!" Not able to express his outrage, Blue spread his arms. "This is unacceptable! You can't do things like this—it's just plain wrong!" The man at the fire laughed gaily, not hearing what the other had said, not caring that he missed it either.

So another night passed by in the mansion, much like all the other nights it experienced. In the morning, after the two gentlemen had slept and servants had cleaned the den, everything resumed to normality like it always had. Come night, though, the same arguments ensued, the same events unfolded as they had for all time. The two gentlemen in the drawing room did their duty—not knowing it to be part of a greater scheme, but only feeling it to be natural. They lived in ignorance, forever contending with each other.

**A/N: Mmmm, sweet, sweet symbolism. If you didn't catch quite all that, let me know (either in a review or a PM), and I can explain some of the things in this chapter.**


	14. Sarabande

Rei looked about the room. Everyone was diligently typing away on their school laptops, most of them doing the math homework that had been assigned a few minutes before. A few of the…less motivated girls, however, were busy talking to each other through the school network. It didn't make sense to Rei as to why the school would actually link up all the computers and provide instant messaging software—all it does is preoccupy the students with talking to each other, instead of taking advantage of the free education they were receiving. In a few years, they would have to be paying for their schooling—ridiculous amounts of money—and then there would be no more time for such idle gossiping as was going on now. _If the world is still here by the time we're old enough for University,_ Rei thought bitterly. She was still in a bad mood from what she had seen yesterday.

It was Wednesday, and the day before, she had noticed a startling change in Asuka's attitude. It started in this very class where, surprisingly, she had asked Shinji for help with the homework. Everyone knew that she had already been through college, and this kind of education was just reviewing material she had learned years earlier—why was she asking for help then, and especially from Shinji?

Rei had taken in this new development with subdued worry. She suspected that something had happened between Shinji and Asuka on the weekend, but she didn't know what. Later in the day, during lunch, her suspicions were confirmed.

Shinji hadn't had the time to cook his and Asuka's lunches the previous night—probably because of homework—and when she had found that they were to go hungry that day, she got mad. Obviously this wasn't a deviation from standard procedure, but it was the intensity of the anger that confirmed Rei's fears. Asuka didn't get quite as mad as she would have a week earlier—there was less of "You stupid idiot Shinji!" and more of things like "How could you forget our lunches?"—basically alterations that only one who had paid attention would realize. Rei, being one of these people concerned enough about the Asuka vs. Shinji battle, had realized these changes.

What this meant was that Asuka was lightening up on Shinji, thus becoming nicer, thus getting closer to him. Rei didn't like it, not one bit. She had started liking him before Asuka did—that bitch didn't have any right to take him away from her. Scowling, Rei locked her gaze on Asuka. _This should not be happening. Shinji should be with me, not that bitch-skank. _She was definitely getting better at this swearing thing, and would have congratulated herself if she wasn't as angry as she was. She'd looked around on the internet, peeking into a few forums here and there, and had gotten a pretty good idea on how to swear correctly. She still mixed up a few words now and then, but usually those insults came out alright, if not a little funnier than she would have wanted.

Brooding like this was getting Rei nowhere, and so she decided to put the whole thing on hold for a bit; this was a time for learning, and she would take full advantage of it. Taking her gaze away from Asuka, she went back to tapping out the equations the class was working on.

The rest of the period went by relatively quickly, as Rei was absorbed with the trigonometry the class was studying. The bell rang, telling the students to pack up their stuff and move to the next class. As she flipped the laptop closed, Rei watched Asuka stand. Her desk was in the row next to Shinji's, and as she walked by him, she brushed her hand across his shoulder. Rei wanted to scream. _Son of a bitch! She can't do that kind of thing!_ She was the only one that noticed what had happened—even Shinji had no idea that Asuka had intentionally touched him.

This was definitely a problem for Rei. She clenched her fists trying to restrain her outrage at what Asuka had done, and was finally able to keep from rushing over and punching the bitch in the face.

As the rest of the class filed out into the hall, Shinji stood, shouldering his backpack. He looked at Rei with an inquisitive twist on his face. "Is something wrong, Ayanami?"

She quickly reverted her face back to its usual look of stoic neutrality. "No, nothing is wrong. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, well you looked kind of angry," he replied. "Is the homework frustrating you?"

Rei stood and picked up the tote bag she kept her books in, taking her eyes off of Shinji. "No. I'm having no problems with it as of yet." She started for the door after gathering her things. She looked at Shinji, still at his desk, as she walked. "You would help me if I did have problems," she said, smiling, "wouldn't you?"

He grinned back, looking embarrassed. "O-of course. Just let me know if you do need help, Ayanami."

She nodded and walked out of the room. As she moved down the somewhat-crowded hall towards her next class, Asuka silently slipped beside her, matching her pace. "You don't seem to realize," she said, "that Shinji is mine. For you own good, stay away from him." Rei looked up at her; it was like looking into the face of a lioness, hungry for something to eat, hungry for the feeling of blood gushing over her muzzle. She looked dangerous. Before Rei could answer, Asuka quietly fell back into the crowd, and headed the opposite direction.

_I've been warned,_ thought Rei. Her brows furrowed as she weighed the meanings of this threat. _It seems we're in open warfare, now._ A few kids passing by looked askance at her, and quickened their pace, hurrying by the fuming Rei. They saw the look in her eye—the look of one who has gone past the line, gone beyond the limit—and knew that she was ready for a fight. They certainly didn't want to start that fight, so left her alone.

Rei, not realizing it, stomped her way to her next class. Everyone around her could plainly see she was angry, but the surprise of seeing her show emotions outweighed the wonder of _why_ she was angry. She sat down in her desk, and throughout the entire period, stared straight ahead with a scowl that would frighten anyone. The teacher, sensing there was a considerable amount of tension building in her, left her alone; certainly there was no need in annoying her and thus provoking her anger.

The rest of the day passed in this way—Rei scowling like a demon, people shunning away from her, teachers avoiding a potential outburst by not calling on her in class. It was strange, though—when she saw Asuka in the hall, or when she was in the same class as that red-headed wench, she went about like nothing had ever happened between them. To Asuka, the declaration she so vehemently shoved in Rei's unsuspecting face was nothing but a friendly show of respect and a pronouncement of neutrality. Let Shinji pick who he wants, she says, and may the best woman come out on top—let there be no hostilities between us! _Damn her,_ Rei thought. _Damn her to the very bowels of Hell where she was spawned._

The final bell rang, urging the restless children to leave the school and go have some fun. Rei gathered the books she needed to take home from her locker, and began the journey home. As she left the school grounds, Shinji called out from behind her.

"Ayanami, wait up!"

She stopped and turned around to see him jogging towards her. "What is it?" she asked, once he got close enough.

"I thought I'd walk you home. Is that alright?" He smiled, flashing his teeth.

Rei smiled back, happy that he would rather walk her home than Asuka. "Of course, that sounds wonderful." She turned back down the path she was taking, now walking with Shinji instead of all by her lonesome.

The two started off, walking in unison in a shared, awkward silence. Rei wanted to tell Shinji about Asuka's threats, and how she deserved to be with him better than the German wench. Shinji wanted to comfort Rei, as he had some kind of notion that she was upset about _something_. He just couldn't figure out _what_. Both of them didn't know just how to express what they wanted to say, though, as is common with teenagers their age. Adolescence, like so many things in this world, brings changes that are incomprehensible by such lowly mortals as the human race. These changes bring about confusion—a mix of wanting to say something mature, to express one's "grown up" opinions, but still wanting to be carefree and innocent as a child.

Whilst walking on a lonely, deserted sidewalk, Rei looked over at her companion. He was lost in thought, staring at the concrete that passed beneath him. He looked so concerned, so bothered by something that he could not figure out. Rei slowed to a stop. Shinji snapped out of his trance after walking a few more steps in front of her.

"Anything wrong?" he asked.

"Well," she began, taking small steps toward him, eyes down. "I'd like for you to answer something for me."

"I'll be sure to answer as best I can, Rei."

She took a deep breath. "I know something happened between you and Asuka over the weekend, but I don't know what." She looked up into his eyes, tears forming in her own. "What did you two do?"

Shinji's face turned red, showing he was either embarrassed or ashamed—Rei didn't know. "N-nothing! W-well, nothing too serious…" He took his eyes off of hers, looking at his feet. "I guess we went on a d-date. We got some ice cream, then went to the park, then to the pier to watch the sunset." He could see that Rei was losing control, and was on the verge of crying. Shinji took a step forward, motioning with his hands in an apologetic manner. "But we're not together or anything! We were bored, and thought we'd go have some fun together!" Rei took a deep breath, almost choking on her sadness. Lonely tears rolled down her pale cheeks, leaving trails of shining gloom. Shinji took a hold of her shoulders, making her look up towards him once again. "Rei, I swear we're not together. Can you believe me?"

Rei sniffed, wiping a tear away. "Do you promise?"

"Of course, Rei. I would never lie to you."

The sudden sadness that overtook Rei was soon replaced with hope. If Asuka hadn't asked Shinji out yet, then Rei still had a chance! She laughed in happiness, forgotten tears still lingering in her eyes. "Then how about this," she said, nervously bringing an arm across her chest to put her hand on Shinji's. _I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away,_ she repeated in her head. She grabbed the moment, wrestling it to the ground. "Why don't we go on our own 'date' then?"

Shinji's face broke out into a smile, touching both his mouth and his eyes with true joy. "I'd really enjoy that, Rei." He took his hands back from her shoulders, as well as her touch, with a tinge of regret. "Why don't I get you home first, then we can plan it out, 'k?"

Rei nodded, overjoyed that he was finally showing interest in her. _This time, I will not fail—I cannot fail. This will be the change of things, this date. He will see that I am better than Asuka, and he will make the right choice to be with me._ The two started walking again, the evening sun to their backs. After a time, Rei ventured out with her hand to grasp onto Shinji's. He took hold of it, looking down at her and smiling. They walked the rest of the way to Rei's apartment like this, not bothering to take a train. They took their time to finish the journey to the abode, and disappeared into the dark home to plan.

It's true, Rei—happiness still exists in this fucked up world.


	15. Neurosis: II

The physics room where Shinji sat was rather large, as the students needed room to do experiments. Counters lined most of the walls, black tops stained and dented after years of chemicals spills and dropped equipment. Cupboards accompanied these counters, latched to the walls right above them for easy access; the students, though, didn't really know what was in them—they were more like decorations than things to actually be used. Sinks were placed every now and then in the counters, as were gas valves and computer stations for the students to take advantage of. A back room held the supplies for both the physics and chemistry classes—chemicals, beakers, thermometers, scales and the like—but only the teacher was allowed back there; the students didn't care what was stored away in there anyway. Only half the room was suitable for the students to be lectured in, as only half the room had seats. Orange-topped tables, able to sit two, were lined in three columns and four rows, all facing the white boards that hung on the wall. The teacher's desk was set in the middle of the room against a wall, also facing the white boards. This way, he could watch the students as they worked, or be readily available when they were experimenting.

Shinji sat twiddling his thumbs at his table as his teacher explained the experiment they were to carry out. Scribbling some key points to take note of on the whiteboard with his spidery handwriting, the teacher told the students they were to design a bridge to build out of manila envelopes. Today, they were to brainstorm such a design that might prove to be the sturdiest, and then next week they would submit the plans and begin construction. He explained that they were to cut and fold the envelopes into suitable pieces once they got to the construction phase. He said that using something like balsa wood would be much too resistant to the pressure they would apply later on, and the whole point of the experiment was to explore the effects of weight on these fragile contraptions.

"Okay, you'll need a partner for this lab. Because I'm such a nice guy, I'll let you guys choose your own. Get to it!"

The students were happy they could pick their own partners, and were quickly all paired up. Kensuke and Toji, who sat at the same table, were together; before Asuka could grab Shinji as a partner, Hikari asked her to be with her; the rest of the class took partners quickly as well. That left Shinji sitting at his table in the back corner, alone and without a lab partner. He raised his hand to tell the teacher of the predicament.

"Yes, Ikari, what is it?"

"Well sir, I don't have a partner…"

"Uh oh. We can't have you being alone," the teacher said. "Does anyone else not have a partner?" He scanned the room, looking for any singles. "Ah yes!" he said, "Ikari, you're with Ayanami."

Shinji turned in his seat to look across the row. Rei sat in the other corner table, by herself as well. She glanced at him, then turned her face downwards, blushing. Shinji, blushing as well, turned back to sit straight in his chair.

"Okay, get with your partner everybody. Sit where ever you'd like," the teacher said as he walked back to his desk. "Keep on task! I don't want to hear talk about the latest fashion or how Yukino wants to go out with Shinichiro!" The gossipy (is that a word?) class laughed at this and pointed at the two students he was talking about.

Shinji watched from the corner of his eye as Rei stood, pushed her chair in, and gathered her things. She walked over to his table and sat down, softly and quietly as a feather. Shinji's breath caught in his throat and he held it there, too nervous to do anything else. The air around them seemed to crackle with tension, the pressure building into an almost visible dome of anxiousness.

After Shinji and Rei had gotten to her apartment on Wednesday, they had sat down and planned out their date. They were going to go out and have some dinner around five thirty, rent a few movies afterwards, then go to Shinji's house to watch them. Asuka would be at Hikari's for the night on Friday, so there was no chance that there would be a fight. After a few minutes of coming up with this plan, Shinji left Rei's apartment looking forward for Friday.

Now, the two could barely sit next to each other. It was strange seeing Rei like this—too nervous to speak, that is. She looked at the table-top, hands folded in her lap. Shinji swallowed, clearing his throat a bit. "A-Ayanami…" he sputtered out, only darkening the growing bubble around the two. He opened up his backpack, searching for a piece of scratch paper and a pencil with trembling hands. "U-u-um…s-should we get s-started?" he asked. Rei nodded slightly, but didn't move otherwise.

Shinji placed the paper in between them on the table. They both looked at it for a few moments like it was going to start dancing at any second, but they were sadly disappointed. It sat there, doing what paper does. You know—nothing.

"We do not have any knowledge on what the best design for a bridge would be," Rei asked, "do we?"

"N-no, the teacher hasn't given us any information about it at all."

"That seems unreasonable." Rei shook her head and sat back a little bit. The bubble weakened and strained.

Shinji laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess we're just supposed to make it up." He sighed. "It seems kind of ridiculous though." The bubble faltered, popping open. Now that some humor was introduced into the two's conversation, the awkwardness of being close to each other was lessened by great amounts. They both sighed in relief on the inside as they started brainstorming.

For the rest of the class, they worked on designing their bridge, though they had no idea as to how to make a good one. Throughout this time, they joked about small things, talked about meaningless stuff, and just had a good little time in general. Once class was over, and it was time for the two to separate, Shinji stood, but avoided looking at Rei. "Um…would you like to eat with me today at lunch, Ayanami?

She blushed. "Y-yes, that would be very pleasant."

"Great! Why don't we meet at…" Shinji paused a moment. "Why don't I just meet you at your locker?"

"That would be fine," she said as she smiled and looked at the table. "I will see you then."

Shinji smiled and waved, saying good-bye. Rei gathered her things and left the physics room after a moment of absorbing the happiness she felt. Shinji was finally paying attention to her! A warm, pulsating glow was growing in Rei's heart, filling her body with joy and a sort of…an ache, it seemed. The ache hurt, in a strange way. Whenever Shinji was around, it went away to hide backstage; but when Rei was separated from him, the ache came back into the limelight, flexing its power, showing off its might. The ache felt _good_, even though it did cause her pain. _What is this?_ she asked herself. _This feeling…it's so strange, so alien. Could this be…? _As she was walking to her next class, she stopped in the middle of the hall. _Is this…love?_

A sudden thought came into her mind. If she had never loved, then how could she know what it was, what it felt like? She panicked for a moment, doubting the emotions that swam through her, so new as they were. _Do I love him, or do I not? How do I know the answer?_ Fellow students brushed past her, shouldering around the strange girl that stood right in their way. Rei finally noticed she was obstructing traffic, and hurriedly joined the flow, embarrassed in her obliviousness.

But wait—if she had never experienced love, then what she felt could really _be_ love. If she wanted to name this thing that coursed through her veins "love," then she had every right to. She entered her next class overjoyed. _This is love because I say it is._ She smiled to herself.

Across the school, Kensuke and Toji were interrogating Shinji. They stood over him as he sat in his desk, looming like great giants sent by the gods to destroy the heathen thing called "Shinji."

"C'mon, tell us what happened! We saw you two sittin' back there, talking and laughing and flirting with each other. Are you two going out, or what?" Toji demanded.

"N-no, it's not l-like that," but that was all Shinji could say. As he thought about it, they had been flirting with each other, even though it wasn't intentional. He couldn't let his buddies know that, though—there'd be no end to the speculations and questions they'd throw at him.

"From what I saw," Kensuke said, "you two looked just like a couple. Tell us the truth now! You two are going out, aren't you!" It was more of an accusation than a question.

"No, we're not! We're just friends."

"Right, like you're 'just friends' with Asuka. Shinji, you know that you're gonna get burned one of these days if you keep messing around with _two_ girls!" Toji sat on the nearest desk, sighing. "I wish I had two girls going after _me_…"

With a devious light in his eye, Kensuke asked Shinji, "So what are you doing this weekend? Maybe we could hang out, say, tonight?" He grinned, an evil little thing.

"W-well, I'm busy t-tonight. What about tomorrow?"

"Oh, what are you busy with, eh? Something more important than your friends, Shinji? Tell me, what could this 'something' be?" Shinji shook his head as he tried to get out of the trap that Kensuke had laid. "HaHA! I knew it! You're going on a date with Rei, aren't you!" Again, more of an accusation than anything else.

Toji gasped, standing. "A date? With Ayanami?" A look of wonder covered his face. "How'd you pull that one off? She's always so cold and distant."

Shinji didn't have any time to say anything back to his friends, though. The teacher walked into the room as the tardy bell was ringing, and everyone rushed to their seats. Neither Toji nor Kensuke sat next to him, so Shinji was able to relax a little bit. They wouldn't be able to pester him about Rei for at least another fifty minutes, but after that, he'd be in the fire again.

The teacher lectured the whole period as the students took notes, though a few just dozed off. It seemed like the clock wasn't moving—every time Shinji looked up at it, only a few minutes had passed, if that. He shifted in his seat, trying to get the hard plastic to stop digging into his back. _This sucks,_ he thought. _Why can't it just be lunch already?_ Impatient as he was, Time decided to spite him by stretching out the period longer than it should have been. You have no patience, boy, Time said. You best learn to bide your time now, or things will be very hard later on. It giggled. Look at me, for example—if I hadn't found some kind of patience, I would have gone insane eons ago! Time thought for a moment. Heh, actually, I'm probably already insane, but I just don't know it. Yahar!

The bell finally rang, and the teacher excused the students. Right away, Toji and Kensuke were back at questioning Shinji. Did you ask her, or did she ask you? What are you guys gonna do? You're gonna make a move on her, aren't you! They flung these kinds of questions at him all the way to their next class. Once they got there, though, they stopped, but kept up their smirks. Rei was in this class with them, along with Asuka, and they didn't want to get Shinji in to any trouble with either of them.

Shinji, as he sat in his desk, glanced at Rei with a small smile. She had watched him come in and sit—the smallest of smiles brightened her face, but her eyes showed her contained joy. She was afraid that Asuka might notice her happiness, and glanced anxiously over at her. Asuka wasn't paying attention, though, as she was talking to Hikari. No conflict arose as the teacher began his lecture on the post-Second Impact world.

Today, the lecture focused on the horrible effects of the radical environmental changes in southwestern Asia. Once the axis of the earth shifted, and temperatures were raised in the Northern Hemisphere, much of the snow and ice in the Himalayan mountain range melted. Subsequent floods killed over a billion people in India and China alone, leaving the infrastructure of both countries, though more so of the former than the latter, in shambles. Nepal and Bhutan, the teacher said, were completely destroyed in these floods—these nations no longer existed, he said. Though not all of the snow had melted right away, because of the new, much hotter average temperatures, the majestic Himalaya Mountains, once clad in white crowns and pristine cloaks of ice, were now reduced to ugly, brown spikes, reaching for the heavens with gray tufts on their heads.

All of this talk of destruction and death wore down the class, making the room fill with shadows of sadness and gloom. The teacher, knowing of this change in attitude, ended the lecture early and let the students talk for the remaining ten minutes of class. Toji, along with Kensuke, rushed back to Shinji's desk to talk to him. They were determined to get some solid answers out of this kid, and were prepared to pester him the rest of the day if need be. They asked the same questions they had in the previous class and in the hall while they were in transit: Who asked who out? Are you gonna go on a _romantic_ walk through the park? You guys aren't gonna make out, are you?

At long last, Shinji was saved by the shrill ringing of the bell. His questioners stopped the barrage for a moment, interested in food more than his and Rei's relationship.

An evil laugh erupted from Toji's throat. "Vuahahaha! Thou shalt be devour'd, thou knave Food!" He rushed off for the school store to get his lunch, knocking into a few classmates as he went.

"Well that's a surprise," Kensuke said. "Who knew Toji could be so…archaic?" Both he and Shinji shook their heads, not knowing what else the jock might be hiding away. "So where should we eat today, Shinji? It looks pretty nice out—I'm sure the roof would be nice."

"I'm not going to be eating with you two today." He saw that Kensuke was giving him the ol' "BS,-where-else-are-you-going-to-eat" eye. He swallowed, eyes darting around as he tried to come up with an excuse. His friend was suspicious and probably already had an idea of what was going on, so, making sure that Asuka wasn't listening in, Shinji said, "I'm having lunch with Ayanami today." Rei was just walking out of the room at that point, and glanced at him for a scant second before hastily making her exit.

"O rly?" asked Kensuke.

"Ya rly," replied Shinji.

"No wai!!" Toji exclaimed as he arrived back with an armful of food.

"Yeah, yeah. I need to go now—I don't want to keep her waiting." Shinji shouldered his pack and left the room with his friends analyzing what exactly this meant.

"If they're eating lunch together," Kensuke said once Shinji was out of earshot, "what's next?"

"I bet they do it tonight," Toji mused. "Shinji, you dog." He chuckled and began ravaging his stockpile of food.

Shinji quickly stopped at his locker to grab his lunch. It was a simple assortment of food, today—a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, some juice, carrots and some cookies. He hadn't felt like cooking last night, and so whipped up two of these simple lunches for him and Asuka. She liked the idea of this kind of lunch, as this was the kind she used to have back in Germany. He saw that her lunch was already gone from the locker, along with the hat she had worn today. _She must be eating outside, then, if she took her hat, _he deducted. _Best stay inside with Rei today, then._ Looking at his watch, he cursed and made his way to Rei's locker.

She was standing there with her own lunch in her hands, looking around for Shinji as he came upon her. "Sorry!" he said, "I didn't mean to keep you waiting."

"Oh no, I've only been here a minute or two…"

Shinji looked about, wracking his mind for a good place to go to eat lunch. "Um…"

"Is something the matter?"

"No, nothing. I was just wondering where we should eat."

"Why don't we eat outside? The weather looked fairly decent when I looked out the window last period."

"N-no, let's not go outside," Shinji said, worrying that Asuka would see them together if they did so. "Why don't we eat in…in…Oh! in the library!"

"I do not think we are allowed to eat in there."

"You're right. Then how about the main foyer?"

Rei looked dubious. "We could, if you wanted to. Many of the students here eat in there, though…" She looked into Shinji's eyes.

"Right. Um…" There was no reaction to what Rei had suggested. He didn't realize that she had basically said she wanted to be alone with him. "What about the stairwell? Not many people go around there during lunch, and I'm pretty sure we can eat there." Or had he gotten her hint, but not shown it?

Rei nodded, saying, "That sounds fine." Shinji led the way off to the west wing's stairwell. It was the farthest away from the main stairs, so only a few scattered kids sat against lockers or walked with friends through the hall. The two pilots got to the stairs, walked up a few, and sat down, being sure to keep a good distance between them. They unpacked their lunches, placing the food in this no-man's land of cold concrete.

Munching on their food, the two didn't say anything for a long time. The tension that had surrounded them earlier that day in physics came back, clouding the air around them with an unsure aura. Rei felt this bubble, knowing it to be something that the two created themselves, and so could easily rid of if they pleased. But it was so hard, breaking the silence that lingered between them. She didn't want to say something stupid or something that he wouldn't be interested in. She didn't want to make a fool of herself, that was for sure. Yet this was no way to spend time together, in such an ill-at-ease environment.

"F-for tonight, um…where will we be dining?" Rei finally asked.

Shinji seemed relieved that the tension had been broken, if only a small amount, and said that he had planned to take her to a ramen place. "I remember you enjoying yourself when we went with Asuka and Misato after we killed the tenth Angel. Well, at least _I_ thought you enjoyed yourself—you didn't say much." Sweat formed on his brow. "I-is that alright? I mean, we can go where ever you want. I just thought…"

"Ramen would be very nice," Rei said, scooting a few inches closer to him.

A grin split his concerned face. "Fantastic. Am I still picking you up around five thirty?" This time, it was he who moved closer to her, leaning on his hand. They were right next to each other, now.

Rei nodded and put her hand on top of his. "I can't wait, Shinji." She put more pressure on his hand, emphasizing her eagerness.

A wide smile covered Shinji's face as he flipped his hand so that he could now grasp Rei's. He gazed dreamily into her eyes now twinkling with bliss. A long moment passed as the two sat holding each other's hand. The bell rang, echoing about the concrete walls of the stairwell. The pilots gave up the grip they had on each other and stuffed the rest of their forgotten food into their bags. Standing, they joined hands once again and walked into the hall. For almost thirty feet they held onto each other before it dawned upon them that it might be a bad idea to be seen like that. They walked side-by-side until they had to part down separate halls; Shinji once again said he would drop by Rei's place at five thirty; Rei once again said, in her own way, that she could barely contain her excitement.

Class after lunch was tedious for both as they anticipated the events that would unfold that night. At long last, when the final bell rang and students rushed out for friend's houses and movie theaters, Rei rushed home, taking a train whereas she would usually walk most of the way. She had to get home and get ready, though the date was still a good two hours off. Once home, she hastily took her clothes off, setting them on the bed next to her new dress, her high-heels on the floor right below.

On Wednesday night, after Shinji had left her house, Rei realized that she had nothing to wear for the date; all she owned as far as clothes went were a few school uniforms and a plug suit—certainly not things she would wear out to dinner. She had a thought, though. _If anyone could help me, it would be Major Katsuragi. _So she called Misato on her cell, knowing she wouldn't be at the apartment. After informing her that she was going on a date with Shinji, the Major laughed with relief. "It's great you two are getting to know each other, finally!" she had said. "Oh, but you don't have anything to wear, do you? I guess it's time we go shopping! I'll come by the school after you're out tomorrow, and we'll go together. Sound good?" Rei consented, but told Katsuragi to park a few blocks away so that no one would see them and get suspicious. She hung up the phone and went to bed shortly thereafter. It was going to be interesting, shopping with Misato. Rei just hoped she wouldn't end up destroying her bank account.

After school the next day, the Major was where Rei told her to be, and the two headed right for the mall like a bat out of hell. Once there and in the biggest clothes store they could find, Misato asked Rei what kind of outfit she was looking for. Not knowing what kind of outfit would be best, she told Misato to choose for her.

"Then it'll have to be a dress! You don't want to look laid-back and wear jeans—that might make Shinji think he isn't important enough for you to get dressed up. A miniskirt would be too much for the first date, and I don't think you'd like wearing one anyway. The best choice is a dress, then." Rei nodded meekly, following her shopping guide to the dress section.

After looking about for a few minutes, Misato had a couple nice dresses picked out. After trying them on, and a little arguing, they made a consensus on a simple spaghetti-string, A-line, royal blue dress made of cotton. It was elegant, though, and that's what they both liked most about it. Misato paid for the dress, even though Rei insisted that she take the bill. "This is your first dress, so I would be honored to buy it for you, Rei," she had said. Rei finally backed down at let Misato pay, though she still didn't like the idea all that much.

As they were walking out to the parking lot, Misato stopped and cursed. "You don't have any shoes, Rei! Well, let's go back in and get you a nice pair of heels," she said with a grin. So they made their way back in and to a shoe store, where Misato instantly found the perfect pair. Rei put them on carefully, not wanting to break them or fall.

They were black sandals with a two inch heel, straps criss-crossing about the top of her foot, with three more encircling each ankle. "Go ahead," the Major said, "walk around a little bit."

Rei _tried_ to walk around, but ended up almost breaking her ankles more than once.

Misato, all giggles, realized that Rei had never worn heels, so had no clue as to how to walk with them. With a guiding hand (or foot…), she taught the finer aspects of walking with them to Rei, walking about the store with her in tow. Ten minutes of this and Rei was about to give up, fling down the damned heels and just wear her tennis shoes; but Misato stopped the lesson. "You're doing just fine, Rei. When you're with Shinji, just remember to be calm when you walk—don't concentrate too hard or you'll end up falling down, and we don't want your new dress getting dirty."

This time, Rei bought the shoes before Misato could protest. After a mere hour of being at the mall, they were done shopping. Walking out to the car, Misato said that Rei would look beautiful with a necklace, maybe with a little pendant on the end. "Why don't you come with me to the apartment and we'll find you something?" Figuring she knew best, Rei said that would be most generous of her. They made good time getting to the apartment.

After rummaging about in her jewelry box for a good half an hour, Misato found a thin, silver chain with a small cross studded with a few sapphires. "It's perfect!" she exclaimed when she discovered it. "Here, try it on." She handed the necklace to Rei, who then, with minor difficulty, fastened it around her neck.

"It's pretty," she said.

"Of course it is! It's _mine_ after all," Misato said with a laugh. "You can hang on to that for as long as you'd like—I didn't even know I still had it, so I won't be missing it."

"T-thank you," Rei said, unsurely.

"God, look at the time! Hey, do you want a ride home? I'd be happy to drive you."

"No, that's alright. I can take the train."

"Well then, good luck tomorrow! And Rei," Misato said as she went to whisper in her hear, "don't worry. Shinji will see you and be stunned speechless." She walked by and patted her on the shoulder, wishing her good luck once more.

Rei left the apartment as Asuka was arguing with Misato. "Why is she here, then?" Asuka demanded. Rei left before she could hear any more of the fight.

Now she was slipping into the dress after she had taken her bra off and tossed it on the floor. The fabric felt nice against her skin, though still a bit foreign—she wasn't used to wearing it yet. She placed her feet in the heels and started walking around the room, practicing a bit more before her date got there. She practiced standing and sitting, walking sideways and backwards, and was soon feeling pretty confidant on her abilities.

A quick rap was heard at the door. Rei stopped walking and smoothed out her dress as she went to let Shinji in. She took a deep breath, put a smile on her face, and opened the door.

Shinji stood with three roses in his hand, all red as blood. "I-I got these for you," he said as he handed her the small bouquet. He was wearing the same clothes he had on that day in school, but they were surprisingly unruffled and quite clean.

Rei took the flowers from his outstretched hand and bid him welcome. "They're beautiful…" she said as they both walked inside, her in the lead. She went to the kitchen to put the flowers in water as Shinji stayed in her room. Rei was soon finished, and the two left the apartment.

"I know if a good ramen place near my apartment," Shinji said, "so we should take a train there. A nice video store is in that area, too."

"Convenient, that," Rei remarked as they made their way to the station.

Unlike at school, there was no tension between the two now. Even though they were in public, it seemed like it was so much more private than when they were in school. Shinji figured that since there was no peer pressure or fear of being seen together, and consequently being made fun of by classmates, there were no uneasy silences or feelings between him and Rei. They talked as they went to the station, and kept on talking on the train. They spoke of mundane things at first—school, homework—but were soon talking about the strangest things. Things like what they would do if they got stranded on an island by themselves; what they would do if they were the only person left on the earth. Things like if we can see the stars, can they see us; if there is a God, and mankind was truly created in His image, why is there so much death and hate in the world; what happens after we die? The two shared their most personal beliefs with each other, and not being embarrassed or uncomfortable after doing so. In fact, the two believed almost the same things—they both didn't believe in God, but didn't say that there was no possibility of a divine Creator; both believed in a higher calling for man than what he was doing on the earth now, but had just not discovered this calling yet; both thought that there was an afterlife where souls meet each other and that's where future friendships come from when you're reincarnated.

This kind of discussion went through the train ride and the walk to the ramen vendor. After ordering their food—Shinji insisted he pay, and did so—and sitting on a near-by bench, they once again started talking, but just about philosophy now. They discussed Plato, mostly—surprisingly, they were both reading _The_ _Republic_ outside of class, and so were able to discuss concepts that he had written about.

The couple finished their dinner, and Shinji led the way to the movie store. A few blocks later, they came upon "Mac's Movie Rentals", a small place with a bright neon sign hanging above the door. They entered as the door jingled, calling the rental guy to attention.

"Howdy," he said with a grin. He had short, black hair and muttonchops, his square glasses framing his eyes. He was significantly overweight, too, and his belly shook as he walked. "How are ye tonight?" His shirt, one of the strangest both Rei and Shinji had ever seen, was a white dear, silhouetted on a black background, cut clean in half, showing it's red insides.

"Just fine," Shinji replied as he walked to the Action section. He turned to Rei and whispered with a small laugh, "That guy's shirt is _weird_."

"I agree," she said. "Um, what kind of movie do you think we should get?"

"Well, I hadn't really thought about it. Why don't we just look around for a while and see if anything looks good."

For a minute, they browsed in silence, but it was broken by quiet music coming from the counter from which the rental guy made his deals. Shinji looked over, seeing that the guy was on his laptop playing some techno. He saw Shinji looking, so quickly turned the music off. "No, it's alright. Go ahead and play your music," Shinji called to him.

"Righty-o," came the reply from the grinning man. The techno resumed.

Rei and Shinji resumed browsing, searching through the Action and Comedy sections, and then moving on to the Sci-Fi section. Nothing good seemed to come up, though—were there really no good movies anymore? Shinji kept glancing nervously at the Romance section. _Should we get a romance movie, or will Rei think I'm a pervert if I suggest it?_

Rei, scanning the back of a movie about a zombie regime taking over the world, also looked at the Romance section. _I don't want him to get bored with the movie, so maybe I shouldn't suggest getting a romance,_ she thought. _I don't even know if I'd enjoy it all that much._

After browsing the entire store but the Romance movies, the two had been there for over half an hour. The rental guy finally joined them on the floor, where they were just beginning to look at the Action movies again. "Seems you kids are havin' a hard time choosin' a movie. Mind if I suggest a few good ones?"

"That'd be great," Shinji said with a smile.

The guy made for the Comedy section right away, asking, "Is this your first date together?"

Neither answered, and deliberately didn't look at each other.

"Right, I see. Well then," he said as he grabbed a movie, "this here title should do ye fine." After looking for moment, he took another movie off the shelf. "And this should be a dandy one as well." He handed the movies to Shinji.

"_Army of Darkness_ and _The Big Lebowski_…I've never heard of either of them. Have you Rei?" She shook her head. "Well, if you say they're good, then they must be. We'll take 'em both."

"Cool. If you'd kindly come to the counter, I'll ring up yer total."

The three went to the counter, the guy going in back and punching a few keys on the computer. After giving him some personal information, Shinji shelled out two bucks for the movies—which was good, since they were so cheap—and thanked the guy.

"You two have a wonderful night, eh?" he said as the couple walked out the door.

Once outside, Rei spoke up. "He is definitely an individual."

Shinji laughed. "Yeah, but I liked him. He was laid back, and seemed to know a lot about movies. I guess you have to when you work at a rental place."

"I suppose so."

"The apartment is about a mile from here. Think we should call a cab?"

Rei, overjoyed with the notion of _not_ walking on her high-heels, gladly said yes. Shinji flagged down a passing taxi and they were soon at the apartment. He paid the driver, wishing him a good night.

"You said that Asuka was to be at Hikari's house for the night, yes?" Rei asked, wanting to make sure she wouldn't have to get in a fight.

"Yeah, that's right. She'll be back tomorrow around noon."

"And Misato is at the apartment now?"

"Yeah," Shinji said as they took the elevator up. "She'll be working though, so she won't bother us too much." Rei looked over at him as he blushed at what he had said. _She must think I'm gonna try to make a move on her, now! Damnit, I bet she thinks I'm a pervert!_

"That's good," she said quietly, smiling. Shinji looked at her with a light of shock in his eyes, but it soon faded into relief.

The elevator gave its nice _ding…ding_ as it reached the floor the two had wanted. It opened its doors, happy to be of service once again. The couple exited, and it closed its doors, heading back for the ground floor to pick someone else up. Shinji hit the button that opened the apartment door, and invited Rei in. All the lights were out save the one in Misato's room, and Shinji groped around for a bit to find a switch. The kitchen light now on, he told Rei to go into the living room and make herself at home. "I'm just going to let Misato know we're here," he said.

Rei took her shoes off, happy to finally be on flat feet. She walked to the living room—dark now because the sun had set—flicked on the light and sat on the couch, legs crossed. After a moment, Shinji joined her.

"What movie do you think we should watch first?" He put both movies on the coffee table in front of them. They both looked at them for a bit, not knowing which would be better to watch first, since neither had any idea as to what they were about. "Well…how about _Army of Darkness?_"

"That sounds fine," Rei said. Shinji went and popped in the movie and grabbed the remote.

"Do you want the light on or off?" he asked.

"Off is fine," she replied as he made his way to the switch, where he flicked it off. The TV screen illuminated the dark room, playing shadows across the surfaces of everything. Shinji sat on the couch with Rei, sure not to get too close, and hit the play button. The room went dark once again. An ominous and evil-sounding score was played, and the picture faded into a man in chains, missing a hand, walking through the desert. "My name is Ash, and I am a slave," the man said, sweat and blood dripping off his face. "As close as I can figure it, the year is 1300 A.D., and I'm being dragged to my death. It wasn't always like this. I had a real life, once. A job." Time flew to the end of the twentieth century, showing Ash at his work place. "Um, Hardware, aisle 12," he said to a questioning customer. "Shop smart—shop S-Mart!" he said, not all enthusiastically. On from there, it explained that he and his girlfriend had gone into the woods for a vacation, renting out an old cabin. There, Ash found a recording made by a scientist who was studying the _Necronomicon Ex Mortus_, the Book of the Dead. After listening to this recording, an evil darkness was awoken in the woods. It killed Ash's girlfriend, and was taking over him before he sawed off his hand where the infection began. He was transported into the past, only with his clothes on his back, his chainsaw-hand, a shotgun, and his car. He was captured and would have been killed, but he overcame the hardships that presented themselves to him.

What came next was a series of ridiculous camera techniques, a chain of hilarious one-liners ("This is my BOOMSTICK!"), and a horde of enemy Deadites attacking the castle where Ash was. In the end, with the help of the king and a neighboring nation's army, they were able to destroy this undead army, and peace was restored. Ash drank a potion, got sent back to his own time, and returned to his job.

Both Shinji and Rei had many a laugh at this movie, and were both glad that the rental guy had suggested it. Shinji was delighted that Rei was enjoying herself, and caught her laughing out loud on several occasions—something that had never happened before. They talked about the movie for a few minutes, recalling funny things that had happened or had been said. Shinji stood to put in the next movie, and Rei followed him with her eyes. She was having such an amazing time with him, she didn't want it to ever end.

"Hey, you want something to drink? We have some soda in the fridge," Shinji said.

Rei grinned. "Groovy."

They both laughed at the awesomeness of _Army of Darkness_ as Shinji went to get some refreshment. He soon returned with it, handing a can of pop to Rei and setting his own on the table. Sitting down, this time closer to her, he grabbed the remote and hit play once more.

The movie started with an old-timey song with a scene of a desert, and a man speaking to the viewer. "Way out West, there was this fella that I wanna tell ya about—fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least that was the handle his lovin' parents gave him. He never had much use for it himself. This Lebowski, he called himself 'The Dude.' Now, 'Dude'—that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make sense to me, and a lot about where he lived likewise. But then again, I think that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. They call Los Angeles the 'City of Angels.' I didn't find it to be that exactly. But all the while, there are some nice folks there. 'Course I can't say I've seen London, and I never been to France, and I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, as a fella says. But I'll tell ya what, after seein' Los Angeles, thisa here story I'm about to unfold—well, I guess I've seen somethin' every bit as stupifyin' as you seen in any of those other places, and in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face without the feelin' that the good Lord jipped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place back in the early 90's, just about the time our conflict with Saddam and the Iraqis was goin' on. I only mention it b'cos sometimes there's a man—I won't say 'hero', 'cos what's a hero? But sometimes there's a man—and I'm talkin' about the Dude here. Sometimes there's a man—well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Dude of Los Angeles. And even if he's a lazy man—and the Dude was most certainly that, quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin' laziest world-wide. But sometimes there's a man. Sometimes, there's a man. Bah…lost my train of thought here. Look…ah, hell—I done introduced him enough."

This opening speech interested the couple on the couch, though they still were in the dark about what the movie was actually about. Rei wasn't paying full attention to the movie, now—but neither was Shinji. They were more concerned with each other. She scooted closer to him, slowly and carefully, until they were sitting right next to each other. She put her hand out on her leg. Shinji reached down with his own hand, and took a hold of hers. She squeezed a bit, and was answered with a squeeze from her man. They watched the rest of the movie, communicating with their silent hands. The movie was filled with more swearing than they had ever heard in two hours, but also a lot of comedy—as well as some awkward moments which concerned sex. Neither of the pilots were used to the kinds of things that were talked about in the movie, and were embarrassed in spite of themselves.

With the ending credits, Shinji turned on the light. Both the cans of pop still sat on the coffee table, unopened and warm. Rei blinked at the sudden brightness as he turned off the TV. "It's getting pretty late," he said, checking his watch. "Wow, it's almost eleven. Time flies, eh?"

"Indeed it does," Rei said, standing and smoothing her dress. She took a few easy steps toward him, a coy grin on her face. "You wouldn't mind coming home with me, would you?"

"W-what do you mean?" Shinji's face turned crimson, his body tensing up. He saw the come hither look in her eyes, but was unprepared for it.

Rei stopped, shaking her head. "Nothing—I just don't want to be out this late at night by myself."

"Oh! O-of course, I'd be happy to come with you."

She smiled as they went to the door. She sighed a little, scolding herself for suggesting such a thing to Shinji. _Come home with me? How preposterous. We are but children…_

Grabbing a pair of coats, Shinji put his own on and gave Rei the other—it was chilly outside, and she did not have her own. As they walked to the train, he in the lead by a foot or two, Rei brought the coat to her nose, breathing deep. It smelled like Shinji—such a sweet smell. Ideas swam in her head, some beyond ridiculous, some warming and comforting. _Maybe we are just kids, but love can still be had between us._ She grew hot as she thought of some of the things they saw in _The Big L_, and a mischievous grin took hold of her mouth. As they rounded the corner to the train station, she brought her imagination back in reign, blushing at what she was thinking about—it just wasn't proper!

The train ride was spent talking about the movies, remembering the best parts, ironing out anything that had confused them, and critiquing the films. Both ended up saying they liked them both enormously, though they had never seen movies like them before. "I'll have to give my compliments to that rental guy for suggesting those movies. They were just as good as he said they were." Rei didn't respond, but sat looking out at the silent night. Shinji gazed at her, taking in her wonderful hair, the outline of her face—not to mention the look he gave her bosom, though he was embarrassed about that little peek.

The walk to Rei's apartment was not a long one after they got off the train, and the two were soon standing outside her door. She opened it, stepping inside a little. Shinji stayed outside.

"I had a really fun time tonight, Rei. And you were absolutely," he paused a moment, searching for an adequate word, "beautiful."

She blushed. "Thank you very much for everything, Shinji." She stepped outside once again, the moonlight illuminating the dark blue of her dress, twinkling in the sapphires about her neck. _I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away,_ she repeated in her head fervently. She nervously wrapped an arm around Shinji's waist and drew herself close, pressing against his chest. Because of her shoes, she was the same height as he, and looked directly in his shocked face. Doubt flickered on the periphery of her mind. _Shit shit shit shit! Should I do this?_ There was no more time for thought—it was now or never.

Rei closed her eyes as she moved her face close to his, the moon hanging in the night sky, waiting for what would come next. Along with all the stars in the heavens, they watched eagerly as Rei's lips softly embraced Shinji's.

Eyes wide, Shinji did not move, could not think. Caught off-guard as he was, he could do nothing but roll with what was happening. After a moment of panic, he pressed his palm against the middle of Rei's back, pushing her against him even more. He finally closed his own eyes and returned the silent kiss he was given.

What seemed like an hour passed as the two embraced in the corridor, the moon and stars applauding their courage and love. At long last, and with a considerable amount of regret, the two separated.

"Good night, Shinji," Rei said breathlessly, quietly, and rushed into her apartment, closing the door just as swiftly.

"Good night," Shinji said to the door. He stood there, dumbstruck and jubilant. He put his fingers to his lips, as to confirm that he was really there, that he had really just kissed Rei.

As he made his way home, the man in the moon grinned down at Shinji. Love, he said, is a mysterious thing—you don't want to make it a trivial thing, but if you make it too complicated, it will lose its meaning. Good luck, boy.

**A/N: I know I've never said when **_**Lorelei**_** takes place, and so I took a few minutes to figure it out. First, I said in an earlier chapter that NERV had already killed the fifth Angel, Ramiel—so the story has to take place after Episode 6. For my ideas to work alongside with the Eva series (the whole thing about the ramen), that would mean that NERV had destroyed the tenth Angel, Sahaquiel—so now the story takes place after the 12****th**** Episode. Just thought I'd clear that up.**

**Oh, and just to be safe, I don't own anything to do with the movies **_**Army of Darkness**_** or **_**The Big Lebowski**_**, though both movies are slices of pure genius. Sorry if the re-enactment of the opening scene of **_**The Big L**_** pissed you off, but hey…whatever, man.**


	16. Ad Undas

The hot sun beats down upon the top of the hillside forest as the afternoon wore on. The trees that populate this place restrict the eye, making it so one can barely see past a mark of thirty feet. The different shades of green assault the senses—the lively green of the trees, the solemn green of the moss, the anxious green of the grass, the brooding green of the bush. These shades dazzle the eye, seemingly twisting the world around in a vibrant swirl. The nose is also perplexed at such diversity in the colors of the forest. So many, there are! So beautiful, they are! The nose wrinkles itself in spite of its owner's wishes, not accustom to the range of colors. It takes in these tints and shades, breathing deep, sucking in the air about it as a drowning man would. The nose is tickled by the torrent that is being thrown upon it. Oh, and the ears! The wind whispers to the leaves, telling them the story of far off lands—tales of love, of war, of friendship, of death, of hope, of strange people across the oceans. The leaves fight to be the first to hear the wind speak, pushing and rubbing against each other to be the highest on the branch. The wind is done with the stories for now, though, and rushes down the mountainside to greet the valleys and lakes below. A great and powerful _whoosh_ is heard as it takes its leave. All of these factors combined makes for a dizzying experience to say the least, tossing the friendly hiker about in a barrage of beauty.

A great cacophony is heard as it echoes off of the trees, the sound bouncing about like a rubber ball thrown against a wall. The trees utter to themselves, He is not one of us; the moss considers a moment, then says, He is one who would hurt us; the grass glances about nervously, Who is it? Who's there? Dead sticks, dead grass, dead leaves crunch under the feet of Him as He makes his way farther and farther from the cut-out path He has strayed from. The leaves quick their quibbling and stare at Him, mimicking the grass' questions—Who is He? They call out to him, Why dost thou come? He turns a deaf ear to them, a blind eye to them. He is not one who would talk to the lowly leaves, the knavish moss, the heathen trees. He is one who is higher than such beings—His soul outshines the rest of theirs combined, and blindingly so.

The trees quickly come to a consensus, telling the moss that He Who Comes is not one who would destroy them, but one who has come to enjoy them. He Who Comes can hear us speaking, they say, but He does not understand our language. Nay fear, brother Moss—He is not here to pick at your body or tear up your home. The trees then console the grass, saying, Nay fear, sister grass—He Who Comes is not here to ravage you with evil, nor does He come with destructive intent. Calm thyself and let Him walk upon you, as he is restricted to that mode of transportation.

Settled down now, the forest greets He Who Comes with jubilant smiles, arms spread in welcoming. He notices not, hearing but Nature, seeing but Nature, smelling but Nature—nothing out of the ordinary, nothing queer nor strange. As the wise trees have said, He does not understand the language by which they speak—He takes it as this thing He calls Nature. Nature, in His mind, is one thing, one entity, that governs the plants, the water, the earth, the air, the weather. Nature, to the trees and moss and grass is that which is formed when every leaf, every blade of grass, every whisper of wind, every rock, and every drop of water joins together in a group mission to keep that which He calls "man" alive.

He saunters by and along the hillside he goes, searching for something, something—what, He knows not. Tired, He sits upon a felled tree, its trunk blackened by the scorch of lightening. The soot is rubbed off onto His pants, onto His hands as He leans heavy on one arm. He breathes in the sweet air of the wilderness, closing his eyes, smiling a small smile to himself.

"It's so nice to get away," Shinji said. "Away from the city, the noise, the people…" His smile broadened. "Being alone isn't such a bad thing, sometimes." The sounds of the forest inundated him as he relaxed on the dead tree. In the peace and quiet, Friday night's happenings flashed back into his memory. He saw the dinner he and Rei had, the movies they watched, and that wonderful kiss she gave him, all in a quick instant. _That was so unexpected,_ he thought. _Rei really has changed in the past few weeks. She used to be so…cold. I didn't want to ask her about it—she'd think I was weird if I had. But I felt so bad for her. Now, though, it's like she's a whole new person. She smiles, and even laughs now—stuff she'd never do a while back._ He sighed, standing up and looking to the sky. _It all started when she came to the apartment last weekend. She seemed so…excited about something, but she never said what; she got in that fight with Asuka before she could tell me anything._

Shinji began his hike once again, not heading for the trail yet. It was nice being up there where no one would find him, though it wasn't like anyone was looking for him. This made it so the already sheltering forest seemed to close in around him even more, protecting him, nurturing him.

_And Asuka—she's also changed lately. She doesn't call me an idiot anymore; well, not as much as she used to. She also helps out a lot more with the chores, and with cooking. It's nice to have a helping hand, but I'm still not used to it. I still think that at some random moment, she'll get mad and slap me or something._

Stumbling upon a small hidden and secluded meadow, Shinji laid down on the fluffy grass. Among the waves of yellow and pink flowers he rested with his hands behind his head, looking into the clouds above. _Wait,_ he thought, realization painted across his face. _Both of the girls have changed so recently—both have been nicer to me. Was that what the fights were all about at school then at the apartment? Over me?_ He shook his head. _That means that…they…like…me,_ he thought slowly, carefully, trying to figure if that was the truth or not. _Well, there isn't a better explanation than that, is there? So…this is bad. I don't want them fighting over me—I don't deserve to be fought over. I'm a coward, and sneaky, and a liar…_ Trying to rationalize why in hell anyone would ever _like_ him, Shinji sat up. _Alright, that's beside the point. What the problem is, is that two girls have shown interest in me, and are fighting each other because of it. So that means…I have to either choose one or let them both know that it can't work out. _

"Damnit!" he cursed. "So no matter what, one of them is going to get hurt; and if I choose to pick neither, then they'll _both_ get hurt. This sucks!" He stood and picked a rock from the ground, chucking it into the trees. "Why'd this have to happen to me?" he said angrily, raising his voice. "It's all your fault, Father! If you wouldn't have made me a pilot, none of this would be happening!" The fire in his belly died down a small bit with this exclamation. "But if he hadn't made me a pilot, I wouldn't have ever met people like Toji and Kensuke, or Misato—or Asuka and Rei." He paused a moment, then sat, crossing his arms atop bent knees, resting his forehead on them. "Damnit…"

He tried to think of what to do, but after he had gotten angry, his mind wouldn't stay on task. So he talked out loud, voicing his thoughts to the grass and flowers. "I'm a bastard for even thinking of doing this." _But it has to be done._ He let out a sigh, laden with frustration. "I can't go about this by just their physical appearance, that's for sure. Even if Asuka was prettier than Rei, or the other way around, that's not what matters. So I have to do this by their personalities." He sighed again, not believing he was talking about two human beings like they were products to be bought from a shelf. "Asuka is…well, she's passionate. A bit brash and hot-headed at times, but she can be really fun to hang out with. Other than calling me an idiot every now and then, she isn't all that mean. She's also very smart, which is always a good thing. Rei—she's also really bright. She's calm, collected—she always has a plan, it seems, and a backup if that one fails. She's very trustworthy and honorable, I can tell that much from piloting with her. She's really nice, too—she's never called me any names or anything like that. And we kissed that night…Asuka didn't kiss me on our date last week." He shook his head, growling. "Bah, but that shouldn't matter!"

A cicada began its melody off to the side of the meadow, annoying Shinji. He got up and started for home, not wanting to be bothered by it anymore, and not wanting to think about the girls anymore. But they were soon back in his head, demanding attention. So his pace slowed, his eyes wandering about the landscape instead of watching the trail, quietly talking to himself. Minutes passed until fifteen had flown by, then twenty, then thirty. Shinji still walked and talked by himself. Finally, he came to the best solution to his problem. "Asuka showed interest in me first, and so I have to go with her. It's not that Rei isn't a wonderful girl—Asuka just showed that she liked me first…" He defended the plan from the scoffing of the trees, and harrumphing of the moss, the sad sniff of the grass.

He walked the rest of the trail in silence, but said a few simple words when he left the edge of the forest.

"I'm sorry…"


	17. Nunc Scio Quid Sit Amor, Part I

**A/N: As a little helper, in the net conversation that happens early on, no space between two responses means that they were both entered at almost the same time. One space is like 15 seconds or something, and I'll specify if there are any longer pauses. Also, a bunny suit is one of those things that technicians wear in ultra-clean, non-static environments—not a big, pink bunny suit. Enjoy the longest chapter you'll ever read. :3**

The hum of the elevator as it brought the pilots to the clean room in Central Dogma relaxed Shinji. It made his entire body vibrate right along with it, the sound waves influencing every molecule in his body. It was like a massage, to an extent; being able to lose himself in the mellow, paternalistic hum made his stomach settle down a fraction. The tests Dr. Akagi was to run today were all new to the pilots, and although it was part of the job, none of them were very enthusiastic about it. After all, tests were boring.

Ritsuko's voice came over the intercom. "This next room you'll enter is the prep-room. We need you to be as clean as possible for this series of tests today, so you'll all need to remove your clothes and be sterilized."

_So that's why we aren't wearing our plug suits,_ Shinji thought.

"What!" Asuka exclaimed. "You want me to take my clothes off again?"

"The chamber that connects the prep area and the PRIBNOW Box is an ultra-clean room environment. Just taking a shower and changing your undergarments is insufficient," came the explanation, crackling over the heads of the children.

"Why do I have go to through all this just for a dumb auto-pilot test?" Asuka whined. No answer came as the elevator slowly lurched to a halt at its destination. The heavy metal doors slid open, not all too quickly, to reveal three separate changing rooms. "The middle one is mine, you hear?" she said looking boldly at Rei and Shinji. No argument arose, and so she made for her chosen domain.

Shinji looked at Rei and smiled, amused by Asuka, though Rei took it as a smile of adoration. She smiled back and started for her changing room, feeling warm inside. Asuka turned as she came to the door of her room, hair swinging as she planted her hands on her hips. "And no peeking, Shinji!" she said with a scowl. With a heavy sigh, she said to the ceiling, "This stinks!"

"With the advance of time comes the need for Eva technology to advance as well. To do so, we need a constant influx of new data. Now get undressed," the doctor said, rather perturbed.

The two girls closed the doors behind them, leaving Shinji alone in the entrance hall. _I've got to tell Asuka, _he said to himself. _The sooner she knows that I'm interested in her the better—I don't want Rei to get any closer to me. She'll only get hurt if she does._

"You're wasting time, Pilot Ikari," a technician said over the intercom.

"R-right! Sorry." He hastened to his changing room, closing the door behind him. The room wasn't all that large, holding only a small metal bench and an equally small locker for his clothes; another door was on the far end of the room, marked "To PRIBNOW Box." "Why metal?" he asked no one in particular, annoyed at the fact that he'd have to sit on the cold bench while undressing. "They could have put in a wood one, or even a plastic one. Do they want us to be uncomfortable?" He sat with a sigh, untying his shoes. After tossing them into the locker, he untucked and unbuttoned his shirt. Taking that and his undershirt off, he bent to undo his pants. His back brushed up against the wall, sending a shiver down his spine. "Gah! Damn it…" He was starting to get pissed off, though it didn't really seem that there was any reason for it. All these little things about that room just ticked him off—it wasn't like him at all to get upset about something so trivial, though.

He dismissed the idea that NERV was intentionally making his life worse by putting in that stupid metal bench and took his pants off, his briefs following closely behind. Stuffing all the clothes into the tiny locker, he went out the exit door.

He walked into a strange room, a perfect cube with no furniture, no lights, no sign of life. As the door behind him swung shut, he was left in the dark. Shinji stood silently, covering his manhood dubiously.

A voice over the intercom broke the moment of silence. "This is the purification chamber," it said. "We'll need to run you through the cycle until we're satisfied you've been cleaned enough. Are you ready?"

"W-wait! What's going to happen?"

"Oh, it's just a little chemically-altered water. We're just going to spray you a little bit," it said. "Here it comes…"

An omnipresent light suddenly appeared in the room. It flickered a few times, and finally held a steady, though somehow dreary luminosity. It wasn't very bright at all, but Shinji could see dozens of small openings in the walls, the ceiling and the floor. He felt a small rumble reverberate in the floor, and heard the rushing of suppressed water all around him.

"Oh shi—"

Water exploded outward from the walls, the streams ripping and tearing at his skin. It came from all around him—if it hadn't he surely would have been pushed away by the force of the water. A relatively light stream of jets was shooting Shinji in the head from above, but no attacks came from the floor, curiously. Gurgling about with a half-full mouth of water that tasted like a strange mix of blood and lemons, Shinji flailed his arms in front of his face, trying to deflect his aggressors. He struggled to keep his head down, his eyes and mouth shut; but the water just kept coming and coming, pelting him for what seemed an hour.

At long last, the torrent stopped, leaving Shinji coughing and bent over. He could see the liquid flowing into a drain in the corner of the room. He assessed the damage he had incurred, quickly looking over his arms, chest and legs—they were all beat red, and with a strange tint of blue. He pushed down on his stomach where it seemed particularly blue, testing to see if he had been bruised all over. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt at all. _Oh, it must be the chemicals,_ he deducted.

"Is that it?" he called out to the technician, trying not to cough.

"Oh no. We're not even done with one cycle yet!"

Shinji raised his fist, his eyes aflame with hate. "You basta—"

All the openings on the floor aimed straight towards him, and flung their deadly liquid with all their might. One right below him shot straight up and hit his manhood, making him squeal in pain and double over. _They're…trying…to…kill…me!_

Compared to the first part of the cycle, this second phase was infinitely worse. It wasn't nearly as long, but, dear God, did it hurt.

"Great! There's the first cycle!" the voice said as the water finally stopped trying to eat Shinji alive. "Ready for the next?"

Panting and leaning against a wall, Shinji asked, "How many more…are we going…to do?"

"Let me see here…" There was a pause, leaving the room in silence, save the dripping of the water off of Shinji's battered body. "From our calculations, only four more. Ready?"

"I hate yo—"

An hour later, Shinji was finally done running the Gauntlet. A man in a bunny suit opened what appeared to be a hidden door opposite of the way that Shinji had come from, and beckoned him to come in. He limped over to his escape, remembering to cover his privates as best he could.

"Sorry 'bout that mate," the man said through his respirator. "It's 'Ell, isn't it? I didn't 'ave to go through it meself, see, but I was one o' the boys what constructed the thing. Bloody powerful jets, those are."

Shinji shot a glare at the man, not wanting to talk to him at all.

"Roight, roight. Come wif me then, eh?"

He followed the technician down a short hallway where the man opened a door for him, revealing another cube-room. Shinji saw its poorly lit walls, those same small holes covering them, and almost had a heart attack.

The man could see the dread on his face, and reassured him. "No worries, mate! This here is another part o' the purification process, sure; but now you get to have a nice li'l shower-thing. No more jets, me boy."

Looking at the man dubiously and hoping he wasn't being led to his death, Shinji entered the room. The door closed behind him with a little _thud_ and the clicking of the locks could be heard.

"Just this one more room and then we'll almost be ready," that same voice came over the intercom. "This chamber was designed to remove the blue tint from your skin. Not forcefully, of course. This cycle is actually part sauna, part shower, so relax. If you'd go into the center of the room, we can begin."

Shinji obeyed woodenly, hoping that the voice wasn't lying. A sauna sure did sound nice at the time—it'd be horrible if the bastards were tricking him again.

Much to his delight, they weren't lying. A light spray of deliciously hot water enveloped him as soft jets ejected the most playful mist he'd ever come across. Soon, he couldn't see a foot from his face. As Shinji looked down, he could only barely see the beginning of his nether-hair—the rest was enshrouded in the swirling mass of ecstasy that surrounded him. All the tension and pain left his body, evaporating away to join the mist. He sighed with relief, glad it was finally over and they could begin the tests soon.

For almost half an hour he paced, walked, and gamboled about the room. Finally, the mist began to fade, the hot vapor retreating into its home. _Thank you so much, _Shinji said to it. _You've been fantastic._ After checking his body, he found that the blue was completely gone from his skin, as was most of the redness. He grinned a bit, happy to be back to normal.

A sealed door, previously hidden, hissed open and swung inward. "If you'd follow this corridor down to the next chamber, you'll find a waiting room. The other pilots aren't quite done with their purification cycles, so you'll have to sit tight for a while."

The open door revealed a pure white hallway, illuminated by the same omnipresent light Shinji had seen in the earlier chambers—but now it was almost painful to have his eyes open, the light was so bright. At the far end of the corridor, not twenty meters away, he could see another door similar to the one he just passed. As he began the journey across this burning white desert, the door behind him hissed shut as a vacuum was created within the other room. Alone now, Shinji moseyed along, swinging his arms at his sides. There was no fear of being seen naked, he figured, and made no attempt to cover himself.

Upon reaching the far end, the door swung inward, making the same hissing noise as the other had. It revealed a room not unlike the changing room that Shinji had visited earlier—the only difference being that there was no locker here. One of those metal benches gibed Shinji from its static life on the wall, but he greeted it with a smile. After being in that sauna/shower, it would be nice to cool down on its smooth surface. He took a seat, greatly appreciative of NERV placing such a bench in this strategic place.

A crackle came from the ceiling. "Pilot Ikari," a woman's voice intoned, "the other children are still being cleansed. It will take approximately another hour until both are finished." Shinji sighed at this new information. "There is the possibility that bacteria is still living in your pores, however. Since we need to keep you as clean as possible, we'll be heating this room so your sweat will evaporate faster. I'll keep you up to date on the other pilots' progress."

_Another hour? Meh. Won't be too bad, right?_

Close to two-and-a-half-hours passed before the woman told Shinji to get ready to leave. He got up from his prone position on the floor, eager to escape the burning hell that they had encased him in. When they said they were going to "heat up" the room, he suspected only a few degrees. But no—they had to have turned the thermostat up to damn near 120 degrees! Shinji stood loosely at the door, waiting to be let out into the cooler room next to him.

Like the woman said she would, she had informed Shinji of the progress of the other two pilots. She actually let him know every time one of them finished a cycle, which soon got on his nerves. He tried to count how many times each of the girls went through, but was soon so oppressed by the heat, his mind was basically trying to swim through tar to get to where it would be able to think. However, at his last count, Rei had gone through eight times, while Asuka was going on almost eleven.

The door hissed open and Shinji walked through hungrily, searching for cooler air to engulf himself with. He entered a small room—more of a closet, really—and the door closed.

"This is just another precaution, Shinji," Dr. Akagi said over the intercom. It was good to hear a familiar voice, and he relaxed a bit. "We're just going to clean you once more with a few small blasts of air."

Those "small blasts" turned out to be just like the "sprays" that the first chamber guy had described. Before he could think, Shinji groped at his stomach, feeling like he had been hit with a bat. Another bat hit him in the side, on the leg, the back, the ribs, the leg again, his arm—they just kept coming! Soon there was no pause between the blasts. A scant few seconds passed in agony as the air pelted him from every direction, but it was done as soon as it had started.

"You…" he whispered through the pain.

"What's that Shinji? I couldn't hear you that well." Ritsuko asked.

"You…bastards…" he whispered again, not any louder than before.

There was silence.

After a moment, the doctor continued. "Right, on to the next chamber. This is the last one before the PRIBNOW Box, so don't worry." She didn't let on that she had heard anything from Shinji; he had wanted her to know his opinion, though, and hoped she had at least heard a little bit.

The door hissed at him, telling him to get out of the room. It slid sideways instead of swinging open like the other snake-doors Shinji had encountered earlier. He passed into the next room, happy that all of the preparations were almost over with.

He walked into a small cubicle-like thing, screens on either side of him, as well as in front, covering him from about chest down. Ahead was another white room, longer than it was wide with a security camera in the far corner. He looked left and saw Rei—she was naked. He blushed furiously and looked away from her, to his left, only to find Asuka—naked. _Damnit!_ _I'm trapped!_ He fixed his eyes on the ground before him, clenching his jaw to keep from blurting out apologies that were not needed. He covered his privates after he noticed he, too, was still naked.

Asuka planted her hands on her hips once again. "Alright, I'm here, just the way you wanted—butt-naked and ran through the wash cycle seventeen times."

Shinji's eyes widened. _Seventeen times? I almost died after five!_

Ritsuko's voice echoed about the empty walls. "Very good. And I want all three of you to stay that way as you walk through the room and board the entry plug."

"What!" Asuka exclaimed.

Shinji gasped a little, looking forward, surprised at what they were being asked to do. _Walk through the room? With these two? NAKED?_

"Don't worry," Dr. Akagi said, "the video recorders have been shut off. We do respect your privacy."

Asuka clenched a fist. "Oh sure you do—and that's not the point!" Exasperated, she folded her arms. "This is a personal thing."

"The purpose of this experiment is to monitor the harmonics directly from your bodies, without the interference of your plug suits." Akagi was replaced with a stern-sounding Misato. "Asuka, this is an order."

She gave in, at last. "Alright, but I don't want anybody peeking, okay?" A faint beep resounded off the walls, and a red light lit up on the camera—it had been turned off. She suddenly turned to Shinji. "That means you too! If you look at me, I swear I'll hit you so hard, your ancestors will feel it."

"R-right. I wasn't planning on l-looking anyway," Shinji said, once again averting his eyes downward.

"Oh, what's this? You think I'm ugly, do you? Is that why you don't want to look at me?"

He shrunk down as much as he could trying to escape the overbearing glare that was being thrown his way. "N-no! T-that's not what I meant!"

"Then what the hell did you mean?" Asuka demanded.

"Asuka," Rei said, "stop it." She turned to look her right in the eyes. "There is no need to pester him."

"Oh ya? Why are you defending him all of a sudden?"

"Asuka, cut the chatter," Misato crackled. "I won't have any of this during an experiment. Now get moving, all of you."

Rei and Shinji said an identical "Yes ma'am," while Asuka went with a rude "Yeah, yeah." The screens in front of them vanished, getting sucked into the thin supports they were strung between. Asuka started out first, followed closely by Rei. Shinji hesitated a moment before walking with them, trying his best to keep his eyes away from the naked flesh that was presented so succulently before him. Despite his best efforts, his gaze wandered.

He firstly looked upon Asuka, striding arrogantly and angrily with her hands in fists. Her hair was streaming behind her, flowing radiantly backwards. Her skin was immaculate—no scars, no birthmarks, nothing. It was the color of a peach, almost, but so much more vivid and alive than such an insignificant fruit. Shinji tried to put words to what he was seeing, but failed miserably—there was no word in any language that could describe such beauty. The way her hips swayed as she walked, and the way her backside went right along with them, made the most inappropriate things flash through his mind. Though he was lagging behind, Shinji could still see a part of Asuka's breast. He'd caught a fleeting glimpse of that pair earlier when he was in her room—such a long time ago, it seemed—but he had covered his eyes out of decency before he really _saw_ anything. Now, though he couldn't really see all of it, he studied that breast like he was going to be tested on it.

From the corner of his eye, Shinji saw something blue. He turned to see what it was. Oh, it was Rei, still naked. His jaw dropped. If there was no word to describe how beautiful Asuka was, then there was nothing in the entire universe to explain any _part_ of Rei's ravishing figure. Her milky-white skin reflected the light into a thousand shining stars in Shinji's eyes, trapping him into a spell which part of him hoped would never be broken. Was it possible for such radiance to exist? Was he really seeing a human being in front of him, not three feet away? He was surely dead and was seeing an angel coming to bring him to the pearly gates.

Shinji felt…something. He looked down at himself. No—he was still alive. And well, it seemed.

His face going scarlet with embarrassed shock, Shinji clasped his hands over his growing member, trying to hide his arousal. _Dear God, please don't let them look, please don't let them look, please don't let them look._ After walking for a tense five more seconds down the room, the girls entered their plugs, never noticing Shinji. He let out a sigh of relief and uncovered himself as he moved into his own plug. _I'm not supposed to think of them like that! How could I let my mind wander so much? I'm such an idiot,_ he thought.

After boarding the plug, with some difficulty while his arousal still presented itself, the good doctor gave the children instructions.

"Treat this simulation plug like it's in your Eva. I want you all to concentrate on synchronizing with the simulation bodies. There should be no problems."

Technicians ran off a checklist as the plugs were inserted into the phantom Evas. "Test duration will be three hours," one said.

_Three hours? Geh. We've already been here for three. This test is taking way too long. _Shinji shifted in his seat, trying to find a comfortable position.

"How do you feel?" Ritsuko asked over the radio.

"It feels quite odd," Rei replied.

"Yeah. It's a little different from the other times," Shinji added.

"Something's wrong with my senses. My right arm's clear—everything else feels _fuzzy_," Asuka said, sounding a little worried.

Ritsuko dismissed her problems. "Rei," she said, "focus on moving the right hand."

"Right." Rei moved the corresponding control stick a little, visualizing the right hand flexing a small amount. She could sense that it had done what she wanted through her neural-uplink.

Shinji sighed. _This is what it's going to be like for another three hours—small, boring movements. I suppose it's better than fighting an Angel. At least we're safe in here._

He looked up to the control room. Dr. Akagi was looking at him, but suddenly turned around. He could see a flashing red…thing on one of the transparent viewing screens. _Wha…what's going on?_

After a moment, Ritsuko turned back, seeming unfazed by whatever had happened. The red light disappeared as well. There was silence.

Rei screamed, a blood-curdling sound that sent shivers up Shinji's spine. He craned his neck over to see what was happening. Her sim-bod's arm smashed against the wall, palm open. It stuttered a moment, then the upper part of the body started moving. _It has no head! How is it moving by itself? _It began pushing itself away from the wall, though it was still connected by a mass of tubes and wires via its neck and waist. Shinji saw it reach out with its arm, reaching for the control room. It lunged.

Ritsuko smashed the glass protecting the emergency release toggle, and pulled up on the handle. The sim-bod's arm blasted off, sending little particles of skin away to float in the water. The arm itself rammed into the control room's front panel.

"What the hell is going on?" Asuka fervently demanded.

"Rei, are you alright!" Shinji yelled into the radio. There was no response.

One second he was looking over at Rei's crippled sim-bod, hoping for an answer; the next, he could only see the prismatic metal inside of the entry plug, and he was being pushed down against his chair. _They ejected us!_ _What the hell is going on! _The plug sped upward, cutting through the water. The pressure that was being forced down onto him made all the blood run down to Shinji's feet, and he was soon light-headed. Not soon afterward, the ejection sequence ended, the jets ending their propulsion of the plug. A weight was removed from Shinji's body as he gently floated toward the surface.

He had a thought. _Where exactly is the surface?_ he wondered. Shinji was soon able to figure that they were floating up to the surface of Lake A-3 using his knowledge of the Geofront's layout relative to the layout of Central Dogma.

"Asuka? Are you there?" he called out. No answer. "Rei? Where are you guys?" Still no answer. The radio should be picking up his voice and sending it across the frequency the plugs were all tuned to, but it seemed like it wasn't working. There was power in the plug, that was for sure; so why wasn't the radio working?

Shinji felt the plug suddenly bounce against something, and stop moving upward—the surface, at last! But…what now? If he was in the middle of a lake, there was nothing he could do. Without the help of the NERV cleanup crew, all the pilots could do was float right along with the plugs. There was always the chance that they could swim to shore, depending on how far away they were; but that left the embarrassing problem of all three of them still being naked. Asuka would probably get mad and drown him if they tried to swim together anyway.

Thinking of Asuka, Shinji remembered his decision that he had made. _I've got to tell her, I know that much. But when? And how? This whole thing is so embarrassing…_ He had to find the courage within himself to tell her, and he knew that. The problem was that the courage he needed to find had never been used before, and so had lain in the dirt, collecting rust and dust for years. He'd never had any use for that specific courage, and so he had never nurtured it to make it grow into something strong and confident. But now that was the one thing he needed to make this whole venture into having a relationship with the opposite sex be successful.

Shinji once again tried hailing Rei and Asuka on the radio, and once again only found silence. There wasn't even any static coming from the speakers set up in the plug—there was only the silence.

A small message box popped up with a beep in front of him on the display panel. Startled, Shinji peered at the tiny text, trying to make out what it said. "Magnify," he said to the onboard computer, focusing on the box. It enlarged quickly, swooping to cover nearly half the display.

PRESP00: Shinji, this is Rei. Are you well?

"Rei! Hey, can you hear me over the radio? I think mine's broken or something."

PRESP00: It seems all radio transmissions have ceased within the Geofront. However, the Simulation Entry Plugs are still connected to the NERV network.

"Oh," he said, turning red. Why hadn't he come up with that idea? And how was Rei talking to him through the network? He didn't see any kind of keyboard anywhere to type with, and he had no knowledge of being able to use the neural-net to type.

PRESP00: If you press the small gray button on the left control stick, a keyboard will become available.

_I'm so stupid,_ Shinji thought as he searched for the button. _Why didn't I know about that?_ He found it with little delay, and having pressed it, a keyboard flipped up from the side of his seat. It was connected to an extendable arm able to move almost anywhere within the plug. He positioned it in front of him, finding a locking mechanism would keep it in place.

"Uh…now how do I send a message? I have no mouse to make that window active…"

The answer to his question came in the form of a new person joining the conversation that he and Rei were having.

PRESP02: Hey, idiot! I bet you're trying to figure out how to send a message, nicht? Well, I figured it out all by myself, and you can do the same.

"What, can they read my mind now?" Shinji asked.

PRESP00: It is quite easy to send a message, Shinji. Just focus on which person you would like to send one to, and start typing. It is much like when we perform actions with our Evas—all you have to do is think of which person you wish to send a message to. Since we are all currently in one chat room, all you have to do is concentrate on this message box.

"That's not so hard then. Let's give it a try…"

Shinji looked at the box, and focused on sending a message. After a few moments to make sure he was concentrating hard enough, he started typing. A new dialog box appeared below the first, showing what he was writing.

PRESP01: Yeah this isnt so hard. Are you two allright?

PRESP02: No thanks to you, yeah.

PRESP00: Yes, thank you.

PRESP01: so whats going on? What happened to you in the sim-bod Rei?

PRESP00: I do not know. It was like something took control of it. It was like the connection I had with the sim-bod was ripped apart.

PRESP02: How the hell are we supposed to know what's happening, idiot? We can't contact Headquarters, and to add to that, we're stuck out in the middle of a lake!

There was a pause in the conversation. Shinji re-read what Rei had said, and an idea formed in his mind.

PRESP01: Wait, could it have been an angel attack? Could an angel have taken over Rei's simulation body and tried to use it to attack the control room?

PRESP02: That's ridiculous! We would have been warned earlier if an Angel was going to attack.

PRESP00: It is possible that an Angel could have infiltrated the security system around Central Dogma, but it is very unlikely.

A long pause followed, none of the pilots having anything to add or anything to suggest. Shinji squirmed in his seat, starting to get uncomfortable. Suddenly, his curiosity piqued, he asked:

PRESP01: How did you know about these keyboards Rei?

PRESP00: Even though the Evangelion Units are the most advanced examples of technology the world has ever seen, there is still a need to get directly into them and perform maintenance. These keyboards are used to manually check data, conditions, etc., on the entry plugs. Although the pilots are never called upon to use the keyboards, we are fortunate that they were installed. Otherwise, there would be no way for us to be communicating at the moment. The tags you see by our messages stand for Project E Simulation Plug, then the designation number.

PRESP02: What I don't get is why we're still connected through the network, but the radio's busted.

PRESP01: yeah, that is kind of weird

A new box popped up next to the existing one after an interim of no new messages, startling Shinji somewhat. It was already magnified as big as it's companion, and it read:

PRESP02: HAHA! Check this out, Shinji! I figured out how to send you a personal message without Wondergirl snooping in on it!

Focusing on this new conversation, the familiar dialog box crystallized, once again showing what Shinji was typing.

PRESP01: That's great Asuka, but why don't you want Rei seeing what your saying?

PRESP02: What kind of stupid question is that? I don't want her seeing anything because what we're talking about is PERSONAL!

PRESP01: What do you mean? We havnet talked about anything yet, so how could it be personal?

PRESP02: SHUT UP

Shinji blushed and mentally kicked himself. He looked over at the first message box, and saw that there hadn't been any new posts. He looked back at his and Asuka's conversation.

PRESP01: Sorry

PRESP01: so what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?

PRESP02: Who do you think is prettier, me or Rei?

PRESP01: what!

PRESP02: JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!

"Whoa," Shinji exhaled. "Where did that question come from? And why did she say it in capital letters? I hope she isn't angry with me for some reason. Knowing Asuka, though, she probably is," he said to himself. He looked at her question again, and thought. _There's no way I could ever say which of them is prettier, but if I say Rei, then Asuka will be even angrier._

_Wait, this is a perfect chance for me to tell Asuka that I like her!_ The realization hit him in the face like a brick shot out of a 400mm cannon. It took him several tries, and the backspace key was used frequently, but Shinji was finally able to get out what he wanted to say.

PRESP01: You are prettier by far, Asuka.

PRESP02: Danke sehr! I think so, too.

PRESP02: So WHY do you think that?

"Damnit," he cursed. He struggled to find enough reasons why he chose her over Rei, but eventually found enough. He saw an opening, though—this was it! He would be able to tell her straight out that he liked her, and all this nervous energy would be finally released from his body.

PRESP01: I realy like your hair, and your blue eyes look like beautiful sapphires. And I guess I think you are prettier just because I like you

No response. Nervously, Shinji typed another message. If he hadn't been immersed in LCL, a nervous sweat would have been dripping down his brow.

PRESP01: I feel that…your more than a friend

Silence. Shinji gulped and anxiously started typing again. This was torture!

PRESP01: so im aking if youwant to go out with me?

PRESP02: OF COURSE!

PRESP02: I thought you'd never ask.

PRESP01: You were waitin for me to ask you out? How did you know that I liked you?

PRESP02: You still have a lot to learn about us girls, leibchen. Don't worry—we have our ways of finding out a guy's feelings. :)

A message floated onto the original screen, and Shinji's eye caught the movement. He looked over, reading hastily, almost annoyed that he was being taken away from talking to Asuka.

PRESP00: Are you both well? You have not said anything for a time.

PRESP01: Oh sorry. I'm just fine, just a little bored.

PRESP01: how long do you think we're going to have to stay in here?

PRESP00: I am unsure.

A new message popped up from Asuka in the other window.

PRESP02: So I guess we're boyfriend and girlfriend now, huh?

PRESP01: yeah, I guess so

The first window:

PRESP00: Do you have schoolwork to catch up on or any other important matters for the rest of the day?

Asuka's window:

PRESP02: I bet Hikari is going to be happy that we're a couple now.

PRESP01: And I bet that Touji and Kensuke will never let it go.

PRESP02: If they make any rude comments, I'll kick 'em in the balls!

The first window as Shinji giggled at what Asuka had said:

PRESP01: I still need to catch up on my physics and math homwork. What we're doing in those classes sometimes confuses me…

PRESP01: so you think we could go on a date maybe tomorrow?

Shinji read what Asuka had said again, and giggled to himself. "Those guys are going to be so surprised when they hear me and Asuka are going out." He scanned the latest posts on this conversation, and froze.

Dreading what he thought was true, Shinji slowly looked over to the conversation he was having with Rei.

There it stood, the testament of his undoing. He had asked Asuka out on a date in the wrong conversation!

"Oh fuck!" he exclaimed, leaning forward and sitting up straight, panic racing through his eyes like lightning. From Asuka's conversation:

PRESP02: Verdammt idioten…

From the main window:

PRESP00: Pardon me?

"Damn it all!"

PRESP02: He's not talking to you! We're going out now, Wondergirl, so don't get any ideas!

PRESP00: Is this true, Ikari?

After a long while, Shinji forced himself to type.

PRESP01: yes it is

PRESP00: I see.

PRESP02: What, jealous?

There was no response. Shinji had fucked up, and he knew it. He'd messed that one up _real_ good, and there was no way he could get himself out of the hole he just leapt in to.

But isn't that what he wanted? He had needed to tell Asuka that he liked her, and he did. Eventually, Rei would have heard it from someone. She would have figured it out sooner or later—Shinji had just made it sooner rather than later. Maybe not in the gentlest way possible, and not on purpose, but he had done it. So why was he feeling so guilty? Why did he feel like such a bastard?

For fifteen minutes, no one typed anything, leaving Shinji to brood about what had happened. _Rei surely hates me now. How could I be so stupid?_ He berated himself for several minutes until Asuka sent him a message.

PRESP02: Are you okay?

With trembling hands, Shinji was able to respond after liberal use of the backspace key.

PRESP01: I guess. I know that Rei would have found out that were a couple eventualy, but she hasnt said anything for os long. I think she might be upset

PRESP02: And what if she is? Are her feelings more important than mine all of the sudden? I thought you liked me.

PRESP01: that's not what I meant! I do like you, but I feel guilty for hurting Rei.

PRESP02: Bah!

PRESP02: There's no need to feel guilty. She knew that I wanted to go out with you. She knew that I was going to win, too—she should have just given up at the beginning.

PRESP02: So you see, it's her own fault that she got hurt.

PRESP01: I guess your right

Shinji saw the logic in what Asuka was saying, and decided that believing her was preferable over feeling so horrible about the whole thing. Looking over at the other window, he saw there were no new entries. Rei had been silent for a long time…

But he had to forget about her. Asuka was his girl now, and he was her guy. There was no room for Rei.

Suddenly there was a crackle that filled Shinji with hope. It was low at first, and he didn't know what it was for a bit; but it got gradually louder until he could make a woman's voice over the radio.

"Shinji, Rei, Asuka! Can you hear me?"

"Yes ma'am," the three said in unison.

"Great! This is Misato. We just got radio communications back online, and we've sent a crew to come reel you guys in. Don't worry, you're safe now!"

"Wait Misato," Shinji said, "what happened?"

"Oh, an Angel attacked, that's all."

"That's all!" exclaimed Asuka. "What do you mean 'that's all'? We could have been killed!"

"Everything's under control, Asuka. We've already destroyed it. "

There was a click and some static, then Ritsuko came onto the channel. "Children, I apologize for the interruption of the tests. Due to the harm incurred by Rei's simulation body, we'll have to reschedule the experiment for later. Once you've all been rescued and have gotten your clothes back on, you're all free to go home."

"All right!" Asuka said, enthusiastically.

"When will we be debriefed, Doctor?" Rei asked.

"In the morning, Rei. We're still putting together all the information we have on the Angel."

"Understood," she replied coldly.

After a few minutes of waiting, Shinji felt the wake of a boat as it passed by. Soon, he was attached to one, and was being tugged towards the shore. Once on dry land, a technician opened up the emergency hatch on his plug, letting the LCL drain out. Averting his eyes, he handed Shinji a big blanket to cover up with.

Grabbing it and throwing it around himself, while being sure to keep his privates covered, Shinji exited the plug. Two black NERV vans on the road that ran along the beach waited for the pilots. Groups of technicians were working on hoisting up the entry plugs with cranes onto the beds of big semi-trucks. Rei and Asuka, both clad in the same kind of blanket that Shinji had around his shoulders, were being escorted up towards one of the vans. Asuka saw him looking and waved, smiling. One of the corners of her blanket flew loose as she let go of it, and the whole thing almost fell off of her. She shrieked and hurriedly made herself as decent as possible once again.

Shinji blushed and looked at the ground as his own escort took him to the van. The girls got into one as he entered the other, and the small convoy was soon on its way back to NERV Headquarters. The agents that had been assigned to escort the children had brought along their clothes as well, and all three quickly put them on. Shinji was relieved to be clad in his street clothes once again after being naked for nearly five hours.

As the two vans sped along the road, Shinji's being in the back, he looked out the side window at the Geofront. The trains that entered and exited by their own routes glistened in the afternoon sun as they carried passengers unknown to places unknown. The city wasn't on any kind of alert, and so none of the gargantuan skyscrapers were hanging from the ceiling. Every time Shinji saw the city sink, he got goose bumps just thinking of how much power it took to suspend such great beasts of metal and concrete. Whoever had come up with the idea of a submergible city was a genius.

Looking forward, he watched the leading van. Asuka and Rei were in there together—he hoped that they weren't fighting over him again. He also hoped that, if they weren't quarreling, Asuka wasn't bragging or poking fun at Rei too severely. There was no point in hoping she wouldn't jeer at her at all—that was impossible. No matter how much Shinji asked, Asuka would always find reasons to make fun of or belittle Rei.

He sighed as he thought of what was to come in the next few days. Tomorrow was Sunday, so maybe he and Asuka would be able to go on a date. He didn't have any clue as to where or what they could do, but he was sure that Asuka would have an idea. Once Monday rolled around, though, everyone would know that they were going out. Touji and Kensuke would probably disown Shinji from their circle of friendship for betraying them so, but that was alright—he could survive without them. He wondered what the teachers would do about it, since they would know just as soon as the students. _Can they even interfere with personal relationships between students? _he wondered. He'd never heard of any such incident before, but who knows? If their relationship became too much of a distraction or a detriment on their grades, he and Asuka might be forced to break up. Shinji hoped it would never come to that.

His jaw dropped as he remembered something. _I'm Rei's lab partner in physics! No…no! How am I going to be able to face her now? _Shinji began to think of ways to free himself from the commitment. The lab they were doing was going to be over by the end of the week, so he was able to brainstorm several things he could try. He could flat out skip the class all week, though that would decimate his grade. He could say he was sick and stay home all week, though he doubted Misato would buy that. He could say that NERV needed him, conveniently only during physics class—that would attract unwanted attention, though. He could always cause some kind of disruption in the class and get kicked out every day, though that was completely against his nature.

It seemed that there was no way to stop the inexorable event of him having to talk with Rei. So if there was no way to avoid it, was there perhaps a way to separate himself from her while still attending the class? He could rip up their blueprints for the bridge, or somehow sabotage the experiment, making it impossible for them to continue—it was too late in the lab to start all over again, anyway. But…that was the only thing he could come up with. It became apparent that there was no way to evade Rei without having his grade spiral down the drain.

Shinji tried to tell himself to stop worrying about it, that it was going to happen and he couldn't do anything to stop it. Whenever he would quit thinking about it for more than a few minutes, though, it would always creep back from the corner of his mind to pester him yet again. _Damnit! Why can't I stop thinking about it?_

The entirety of the drive from the lake back to Headquarters was spent like this—worrying about the future, regretting the past, discontent with the present. He kept calling himself an idiot, a moron, a jackass, a fool for having mistakenly asked Asuka on a date in the wrong conversation back in the simulation plugs. That was most definitely the worst mistake he had ever made in his life up to this point, and it would _not_ let him be.

After a relatively short drive, the vans pulled up to the entrance to Headquarters. An agent that had accompanied Shinji turned to him, saying that he was free to go now—Major Katsuragi would be staying in the Geofront until later that night. Shinji thanked the man as everyone piled out of the van. He looked over at the other vehicle to see Rei, back in her school uniform, striding away, hands clenched at her sides. Asuka smiled at him and walked over, her own school uniform donned yet again. Shinji nervously swallowed.

"Wanna walk home with me?" she asked giddily, hands clasped behind her back. A light of expectance shone in her eyes.

"Y-yeah," Shinji stuttered, still feeling awkward around his new girlfriend.

They began their walk towards the nearest train station that would shuttle them to the surface. Only the sounds of the gravel crunching beneath their shoes and the echoes of the city above were heard—no conversation had sparked up yet. Shinji glanced over at Asuka every now and then, trying to determine if she wanted him to start talking or not. Even if he had the ability to pick up on her feelings like that, he still wouldn't have had any idea as to what to talk about. Anything he said would more than likely come out with a stutter, and wouldn't make sense to boot.

An awkward silence enveloped them both, though only he felt its affects. Asuka seemed to be impervious to anything that might make Shinji feel uneasy. _She's so confident all the time. It's actually really admirable,_ he thought, wondering if he should speak his opinion.

But that would be an inappropriate time to compliment her with such a thing. She'd think he was weird if he said anything, so he kept his mouth shut. Minutes passed as the two walked together, no more or less than a foot apart, as to avoid making each other uncomfortable. As the station came into sight, Asuka closed the distance as she took hold of Shinji's hand.

Her hand was soft and smooth, warming his cold skin. He caught a small whiff of her perfume on the wind. Just a taste, though—some small offering to entice him to draw her close. He thought about releasing her hand and wrapping his arm around her waist, but the mere idea made him so nervous, he almost froze in place.

Asuka noticed him tense up and squeezed his hand for a moment. "Anything the matter, leibchen?" she said, looking into his eyes.

"N-no, n-nothing," he managed to get out.

The two were close enough to the station to hear an announcement over the intercom saying the next shuttle was due in five minutes.

"There's no reason to be nervous. I won't bite you." As an afterthought, and with a wicked grin, she added, "Well, not yet."

"Wha…?"

"Nothing," she said with a giggle. As they approached the platform, she led him to a bench. "Sit with me."

They were the only two at that particular station at that particular time, a particularly catchy song playing over the radio—isn't that word great? They sat on a wooden bench together, Asuka scooting close to Shinji so that their legs were touching. She placed their still-joined hands on her leg, turning her palm downward. Shinji flinched as the back of his hand touched her thigh, thinking she would get mad at him. A bead of sweat trickled down his back—being so close to her like this was making him even more nervous than he already was.

"You know," Asuka started, "back in the clean room?"

"Y-yeah…?"

"I knew you were looking at me."

Shinji tried to free is his hand from hers and stand, but Asuka pulled him down firmly and continued—she wouldn't let him escape.

"I'm glad you did it. Did you like what you saw?" she asked wistfully.

He nodded slightly, not trusting his voice to be able to say anything other than incoherent gurgles.

"Good. That's good." Asuka's voice dropped to a near-whisper as she brought her mouth up next to his ear. "Did you like seeing Rei naked?"

Silence and stone. Nothing made a sound, nothing moved.

Shinji was shocked. How could she be asking him that question? What was he supposed to say? How could he answer that? And, by God, this was the first time Asuka had ever called Rei by her name!

Asuka tightened her grip, digging her fingernails into the back of his hand. "Did you?" she growled.

"Asuka, you're hurti—"

"Answer me, Shinji." Her voice was a calm ice storm, demanding the truth to come forth from Shinji's pale lips.

"N-no, I didn't! P-please, you're hurting me…"

She heeded his words and eased the grip she had on his hand. Her nails hadn't quite pierced his flesh, but any more pressure would have had the red liquid oozing out from the wounds. She kept his hand entangled with hers though, not letting him inspect the damage.

"That's good," she said in her regular tone of voice. "I don't want you talking to her anymore, understand? You're mine now, and I won't have you flirting with any other women."

"Alright," Shinji said meekly. He didn't want to challenge anything she said while the fires of jealousy still burned within her so brightly.

A woman's voice was suddenly heard over the intercom. "The 2:30 shuttle bound for the surface is arriving at platform 13. If this is your train, please prepare to board. For your safety, please stay behind the white line. Again, the 2:30 shuttle bound for the surface is arriving at platform 13. Thank you."

Shinji and Asuka stood as one and walked to the edge of the platform. The train glided to an elegant stop before them, and the double doors slid open, inviting them aboard. They took their seats together, still holding hands. Shinji's palm was beginning to sweat, out of the heat of Asuka's hand and of his own perturbation.

It wasn't long before the woman over the intercom announced the train's departure. The doors slid close with a _swoosh_, and the train lurched forward. Soon they were speeding along the elevated track, climbing like a mole up towards the surface. The luscious landscape that grew progressively smaller was breathtaking, the afternoon sun slanting down to seemingly make every color more vivid, more alive. Shinji could see Headquarters from there—the strange pyramid-shaped building and its inverted-pyramid pool; the curved building that rose up behind these two structures kept its quiet watch over the surroundings, ready to stop any intruder.

_Why does Headquarters look like that? What's that big pool's purpose, I wonder?_ Shinji thought. He had never really pondered such things, even though he had seen this same view many times. The main building looked just like the pyramids that he had seen pictures of at school, just like the ones in Egypt. Most of them were destroyed now, thanks to desperate armies waging a war in the burning desert sands of Africa after Second Impact occurred. Wayward shells fired from tanks, loathsome bombs dropped from above by planes, and apathetic missiles launched from afar all utterly destroyed the once-wonderful Great Pyramids. Rubble and corpses were all that was left after the Saharan War.

But that pool—what _did_ it do? Surely it wasn't there for aesthetic value, and it wasn't used to swim in. Shinji would have to ask Dr. Akagi the next time he saw her.

Oh, but that's it! That water was probably used to cool the Magi Supercomputers! Shinji grinned to himself, happy he had figured out yet another mystery of NERV.

"What is it, darling?"

He turned with an innocent face towards Asuka. "What do you mean?"

"You're grinning, aren't you? What for?"

"Oh, I as just thinking about NERV."

"I see."

The train entered the tunnel that connected the Geofront with the surface, and the view was lost. Orange lights flashed by in the darkness for a few seconds, then the sky opened up before Shinji as the train reached the surface. "Almost there," he said, nonchalantly.

The sun shone down upon the land, warming its temporary occupants. Scattered clouds dotted the sky, wispy things, high in the atmosphere. No sign of rain could be found anywhere on this hot day, the horizon clean of any foreboding clouds. A slight wind played along the tops of the trees and on the surface of the ocean, giggling as it went.

Once the train had come to a complete stop, and the doors had opened once again, the couple exited onto the platform. Luckily for them, another train was getting ready to depart which would take them very close to the apartment. Quickly, the two hopped aboard and took their seats among the small crowd of people. They still held hands, Asuka examining the near-cuts she had dealt Shinji, cooing comfortingly.

"Gah! It's so hot!"

Asuka came into the kitchen as Shinji was making them some lunch. She was wearing shorts and a tank top, her hair up in a bun, surprisingly. A light sheen of sweat covered her face as she sat down at the table with a huff.

After getting home, she had gone straight to the bathroom to wash herself. She said that the smell of LCL sickened her, and she couldn't stand another second with it on her. She left a trail of clothes on the ground as she hurried to the bathroom, not caring that she was stripping in front of Shinji. Before anything indecent was exposed, though, she had gotten out of his sight. He gathered up the discarded remnants of her uniform and put them all in her room. He spied the clothes she was wearing now and, thinking he'd be nice to her, gathered the shorts and shirt. He knocked on the bathroom door, telling Asuka he had some clothes for her.

"You can come in, you know. You don't have to talk through the door," she had said.

Images had flashed through Shinji's head, images of Asuka naked, of her in the bathtub, of him naked wi—he'd stomped out that last picture before it could be fully formed. It was true that they were going out now, but it wasn't right of him to think of her that way. Not yet, anyway.

He'd cracked open the door a little bit, just enough to fit his arm through, and tossed the clothes on the ground. He apologized—not for any specific reason, but more of a precaution—and slipped out.

As he walked away, his stomach grumbled, complaining that Shinji hated it. You suck, it had said to him, angrily. You ignore me all the time! Gimme some damn food!

Shinji grunted, mentally putting tape over his stomach's mouth. He didn't want to hear its whining right now. He did, though, realize that he hadn't eaten since early that morning, and it was almost 3:00. Thinking he'd be nice and surprise Asuka, he went to making some lunch for them both.

And here he is now, just finishing up on putting their sandwiches together. Nothing special, they were—merely peanut butter and jelly on white bread. Just the same, they'd still taste good, and they'd still fill up their bellies. He took both sandwiches and put them on plates after slapping a touch more jelly on his own.

"Here you go, Asuka. How was your bath?"

"Oh, just fine," she said before stuffing her mouth full of sammich. "I left the water in there if you wanna go take one yourself," she said around her food.

Shinji swallowed his bite before talking. "I might in a bit. I need to clean up the kitchen and my room a bit before, though."

"How can you stand to smell like LCL? It can't bear it!"

"Well," Shinji said, "I don't mind it. It kind of smells like blood, but when I'm in the entry plug, I feel…comfortable. Like that's where I'm supposed to be."

"I didn't mind it earlier on, but now it's just disgusting to me." She took another big bite. "I get what you're saying about it smelling like blood, though. I think it smells that way too." She paused a moment after swallowing. "What in the world is LCL anyway?"

"I…I don't know," Shinji said. He laughed a bit. "Isn't it strange that we don't know what it is, even though we're always submerged in it? I don't even know what 'LCL' stands for."

"Yeah, me neither. I guess we could ask Misato once she gets back." Finishing her sandwich, Asuka brushed the crumbs from her hands onto the plate. "Want me to help with the dishes?"

"I-if you want. There's only our plates and the knife I used, but you're welcome to clean them."

"I don't have anything better to do," she said glumly.

Shinji finished soon after her, and after the dishes were washed, they both cleaned the kitchen as well. They used something that smelled strongly of ammonia to get some stains out of the countertop, and they had to cover their noses with their shirts to keep from inhaling the fumes.

"Did we really have to use that stuff?" asked Asuka from behind her shirt. Hiking it up to cover her nose, the tank top left her stomach bare. Shinji looked down at her petite waist and at her bellybutton. He blushed and looked away quickly, embarrassed to see so much of her skin.

"Y-yeah. Misato spilled some soup on the counter, and left it on there overnight a few days ago, so I don't think that anything else would have gotten the stain out. She must have been drunk when she did it…"

After everything in the room was spotless, Asuka leaned back against the counter below the cabinet that held the cleaning supplies. As Shinji was wiping the table one last time, she watched him through her calculating eyes. _We're going out now, but he's not mine yet. He could still leave me and go out with Wondergirl._ The corners of her mouth curled into an evil little grin. _But I have a plan—I just need to find the right time to act. Then, he'll be all mine._

Shinji grabbed the bottle of chemicals he was using to clean the table with and walked over to Asuka. Sheepishly, he said, "I-I need to get into the cupboard above you."

"Alright," she replied. "Go ahead." She grinned a bit more.

_What's she trying to do? She's right in my way, _Shinji thought. Seeing the steadfast look in her eyes, he saw that she wouldn't budge even if he asked her to. Not seeing any way around her, Shinji gulped. Raising himself up on his toes, he reached above her and opened the cupboard. Grabbing the bottle, he raised it up above his head, arching his arm. He didn't want to get too close to her, and nervously tried to put the bottle in the cupboard. His eyes switched between looking at his hand and into Asuka's piercing blue eyes.

_Get in there, you bastard!_ The cupboard was chock full of miscellaneous cleaning supplies, and there was hardly room for the bottle he was stretching to put in. Trying to push back some other bottles, Shinji lost his balance.

He put out his free hand to catch himself before he fell into Asuka. He grabbed something and put pressure on it to hold himself up. He shoved the bottle into the cupboard, knocking over a few others in the process—he got it in there, though.

"Oh my! I didn't know you were so forward about this kind of stuff," Asuka purred.

Shinji looked down. He was grabbing her breast.

Her loose tank top had been moved when he caught himself, the shoulder strap hanging loosely on her arm. He had to let go, he had to get his hand off of her; but if he did that, her shirt would fall off!

"A-Asuka! I d-didn't mean to!"

"Well then take your hand off me, if you don't like it." Her grin bloomed into a coy smile.

"B-but…b-but…if I take my hand off, y-your shirt will f-fall off," Shinji stuttered, trying to explain.

"Oh sure. You just don't want to take your hand off me, darling. It's alright, I understand." She put her hand on his shoulder, forcing him back down onto flat feet. She pressed up against him, his hand still on her chest. She turned her head a little, giggling lightly, bringing her face close to his. Her eyes studied his mouth, then his eyes, then back to his mouth. She began to close the distance between their lips.

She paused at the last second. "You smell like blood," she said. She took her hand off his shoulder, put the strap of her shirt back on her shoulder, and grabbed Shinji's hand. "Go take a bath!"

She pushed him away into the table and stalked off to her room, leaving him there, stunned.

"Wha…bu…my…" Shinji muttered, looking at the palm of his hand. "But…I didn't mean to…"

After recovering from the incident as best he could, and after properly putting away the cleaning materials, he went and took a bath. The water was a little cold, but that was exactly what Shinji needed. It woke him up, brought him back to his senses, made him think.

_She wanted that to happen. She must have planned the entire thing out, and lured me in to her trap._ He smiled, a warm feeling expanding within his body. _It sure was a good trap, though. Just what would have happened had I not smelled like LCL?_ He pondered what could have happened for a minute or two. Suddenly he noticed something as he lay back among the suds and bubbles of soap—he was aroused.

"Damnit!" he cursed, embarrassed. He sat up in the bath and covered himself, though there was no one to see his arousal. _I can't think about her like that—we just started dating! _Mad with himself and how fickle he was, Shinji drained the bath and dried himself off.

After retreating from the thoughts that were spawned whilst in the tub, he went to his room to get some clothes on. He had been in a stupor for a while after the whole incident in the kitchen, and so he had forgotten to grab some clean clothes before taking his bath. Because it was still rather hot outside, Shinji put on a comfortable pair of shorts and an old, flannel pajama shirt. The clothes smelled clean and fresh, making him feel all fuzzy inside. He left his towel hanging on the back of his desk chair as he waltzed out to the living room.

Asuka had moved from her room to occupy this territory, and was lying down on the couch watching a movie. Shinji didn't see her there until he had already entered the room, thinking it was empty. He froze in his tracks and spun on his heel to ninja away from Asuka—he didn't think he'd be able to talk to her after what had happened between them.

"Hey Shinji, you wanna watch this movie with me?"

_Damn._ He stopped mid-stride and turned back. "S-sure…"

Asuka shifted so that Shinji would be able to sit on the couch with her. He took a seat at the far end, right up next to the armrest, making sure not to touch her feet.

"W-what movie is it?" he asked carefully, looking over at her. Instead of looking at her face, which was turned towards the TV, his eyes locked between her legs. The particular way that she held them, combined with the loose shorts she was wearing, made it so he could see the white of her panties with ease. Time slowed to a crawl as a bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face, his eyes hungry to eat up everything they saw.

What he saw were regular, run-of-the-mill white underwear, but because they were Asuka's, they were transformed into a temple, a place where millions flocked to pray for good fortune and longevity. These ordinary panties were lifted above the heads of the masses, glorified to the extent that they were turned into a demi-god.

This was the first time Shinji had ever seen anyone's panties. They were just so…great! It didn't make sense though—he'd seen Asuka completely naked. Why was seeing her underwear so fantastic then?

"Oh, I dunno," she said, turning to talk to him.

Shinji snapped his head forward, hoping beyond hope that she hadn't caught him peeking.

"Anything wrong?" she asked as she poked his thigh with her toe.

Shinji jumped. "N-no! Nothing's wrong!"

"Are you sure? You look tense."

He nodded furiously.

"Come lay with me, darling." She beckoned him to join her, spreading her legs for him to fit in between, extending her arms out to him.

Time slowed to a sluggish pace as Shinji turned back to see Asuka, open and ready, calling for him to join her. The amount of bare skin that he saw was astonishing, almost blinding him with its gorgeous shine. A single thought pervaded Shinji's entire mind, expunging all other thought, destroyed all consciousness of the world about him.

_Beauty…_

This solitary, abstract word brought all of the activity in his brain to a complete and utter halt. It couldn't possibly describe in full what he was experiencing—as all human language is flawed in not being able to penetrate the barrier between the physical and spiritual, and this was most definitely a spiritual event—but that wonderful word, that magnificent arrangement of letters, was the key to this tumult of feelings that rushed through his system.

It wasn't just that Shinji could almost see through Asuka's shirt, under which she wore no bra; nor was it that he could see even more of Asuka's panties; it wasn't even that she had her legs spread about as wide as possible. He gazed at her perfect body—the contours of her physique, the texture of her skin, the vibrancy of her eyes, the regal way her hair was thrown about her shoulders. What he saw was a physical being—a tangible, touchable entity—that encased the very essence of that one wonderfully complex word.

He had never seen anything so pure in his life.

"Come on!" Asuka said, reaching to grab him; Time resumed its pace. She took a handful of his shirt and brought him—not forcibly, but not gently, either—to rest with his face against her bosom. He brought up his arms to cushion his fall a bit, if it could be called a fall, and they came to rest along Asuka's sides. She wrapped her legs around him, intertwining them, placing her feet on his backside.

"Comfy, huh?" she said, looking down and smiling.

Shinji, with his head turned, view blocked by her breast, weakly nodded, still unsure whether or not he was in Heaven.

"It'd better be. It took a lot of time and patience to get the way I am. You should feel honored to be resting there."

Another nod.

"Hikari and Touji have been going out for a few weeks, but you don't see them doing this kind of stuff. We've been dating for less than a day and we're already farther along than they are."

A little whimper of half confusion, half pleasure escaped Shinji's throat.

"I bet they haven't even kissed yet. I think all they do is eat lunch together, really. I don't see what Hikari likes about the kid anyway—he's just a big, dumb jock."

Asuka took a deep breath and sighed, Shinji riding the wave of her chest. The air that she exhaled tossed around his hair a little bit, tickling him. He tried to move his hand around Asuka's body to scratch it, but to no avail. As he brought it up, he misjudged the distance between their heads. What resulted could be called a slap, his hand connecting with Asuka's cheek, though it was never his intent to strike her.

"What the hell!" she screamed as she sat up. Shinji's head now rest in her crotch. "Get off me, you pervert!"

A resounding _thud_ was heard throughout the house as she hit the back of Shinji's head. She pushed him off the couch, but more importantly off of her—he fell onto the floor, hitting his leg against the coffee table in the process.

"Why the hell did you hit me, you idiot?" she demanded.

"N-no!" came a muffled voice. "I didn't mean to!"

"As if! Get out of my sight, damnit. Go to your room!"

Shinji scrambled to rise, limping out of the room as he held his injured head. He followed Asuka's orders and went to his room, closing the door behind him. He flopped down on the bed and curled into a ball, holding his leg where he'd hit the table, nurturing the bump that was forming on his head.

"What the _fuck_ was that all about?" he whispered fervently to the dusky light that shone orange and red through his window. "She invited me to watch a movie with her; she invited me to sit with her; she invited me to lay down on her, too. So how the hell can she get so mad when I accidentally, and _lightly,_ hit her?" He pounded his fist down into the mattress. "I don't understand women."

No one ever will, kid, the light spoke out. I doubt even women understand women. They're just crazy like that. But hell, the world can't function without 'em, so we gotta put up with their moments of random insanity as best we can. No worries, kid—she'll have forgotten about all of it in the mornin'. Just bide your time.

"Whatever," Shinji said. "Come morning, she'll have forgotten anything ever happened. That's Asuka for you" He hadn't heard the darkness speak, but he had a strange feeling that his words were not quite his own—some greater force had placed them in his mind, and thinly disguised them as his. He shrugged off this feeling as best he could and slipped into his covers, falling asleep soon thereafter.

Only once was he disturbed from his sleep. His eyes had snapped open, a sharp breath being sucked into his lungs through pale lips. He had awoken from a nightmare, the first he had had for weeks, but by far the one of the worst he had ever had.

He had been in the cage at NERV, looking into the glowing eyes of his Eva while he stood frightened in his plug suit. Usually its eyes were a bright yellow, almost white; but now they were of the deepest, most malicious crimson, boring right through his heart. He cried out for Misato, for Ritsuko, for Rei, for Asuka, and even for his father; but no one ever came. He screamed for someone to help him, for them to not leave him alone, for them to not let him die. And even so, no one answered, no one came.

The Eva activated itself, freeing its arms from the restraints to tear down the umbilical bridge that Shinji was standing upon. He saw the arms coming, saw that he was soon to be crushed by their grip, and yet he could not run. His legs turned to stone, not able to move even the slightest inch. The hands came down, gripping directly to the left and right of where he was standing, coming close enough so that he could have reached out and touched them.

He turned to look into the Eva's red eyes once again. It gazed back, and after a moment of silence…it laughed. It was a wicked, evil thing that tore into Shinji's soul, into his very essence, trying to devour, torture, maim, and kill him. He covered his ears and doubled over in pain, trying to block out the horrendous sound that made the very ground rumble beneath his feet.

"Shut up!" he yelled. "Shutupshutupshutupshutup! WHY WON'T YOU SHUT UP?" His lungs burned for air as he threw it all out in pleading, commanding, demanding, pitiful shouts. He uncovered his ears, stood straight, and looked once again at the Eva.

Its mouth was open as wide as possible. Its teeth, stained red from the blood of its victims, paralyzed Shinji with fear. The Eva lunged forward, crushing down its jaws to quickly sever his body in half.

Silence. White, perfect silence. Nothing existed. Nothing needed to exist. Shinji floated in nothing, he himself not having a physical body, but having only his consciousness. He wondered if this was what it was like when you died, if this was Heaven—or Hell.

Then, rose petals. From everywhere they came, showering down upon the now visible top half of Shinji's body, his innards strewn across an invisible floor. They were soft and light, very pleasant to the touch as well as gentle to the nose. Millions upon millions of petals came down, came up, came sideways from the nothing that was everywhere to form a grand congregation on and around Shinji.

He watched as the red things fluttered about him. He couldn't feel his legs or his waist, and the rest of his body was bitterly cold. He wondered again if this was his Heaven or if it was his Hell, but then wondered if this was the kingdom that souls go to before they are allowed into either place. That thought quickly left his head to be replaced with the utter cold that surrounded him.

_These things around me, _he thought, not being able to realize what they were, _are they what make me so cold? Are they what put this pressure on my body?_ Panic raced across the periphery of his mind, never coming into full consciousness—the petals kept his alarm under control.

Shinji was having trouble drawing in air, his breaths coming ragged and shallow. _What is this? My chest hurts, and I'm getting dizzy. What's happening to me?_

The petals danced about Shinji, covering him, smothering him, loving him until there was an incalculable amount of them in the pile, if one could call it that. The petals had no trouble going through the invisible floor, and so formed a perfect and ever-growing sphere about their new plaything.

Shinji found that he could no longer draw breath. His chest burned something fierce, but he could do nothing. His body was completely numb other than the tearing that was ripping his lungs asunder, but his mind was at ease because of the petals. Dark clouds crept in from the edges of his vision and grew until there was nothing but black. Slowly, Shinji suffocated in complete happiness and ignorance.

Sweat stuck the shirt he was wearing to his back as he sat after waking. He panted furiously, then drew a deep breath, then panted more, repeating the cycle. The air felt so fantastic running through his lungs, and after moving around his legs a bit, knowing he wasn't bitten in half was calming.

Shinji had had nightmares about the Eva's before, but that was before he had grown accustom to their alien presence. Now they were just things that were there, and no matter how much he hated them, they would and could not go away. He'd come to terms with the fact that he knew almost nothing of what the Evangelion's really were, and it was around that time that his nightmares began to subside.

Sitting on the side of his bed, his feet on the cold floor, Shinji held his head in his hands. _What the hell is going on in my mind?_

Deciding that a cool drink of water would help him forget about the nightmare, he got up and left his room. As he entered the hall, a dim, flickering light brightened up the walls a fraction.

_Where's that light coming from? Did Asuka forget to turn off the TV again?_

Running a hand along the wall, Shinji walked towards the room from which the light came forth, and was soon able to hear the singsong voice of the hostess on an infomercial. As he crossed the threshold between the darkness and the light, he had to squint—the brightness of the TV hurt his eyes, accustom to the dark as they had been.

Asuka lay on the couch with neither a blanket nor a pillow, but asleep all the same. Her limbs were sprawled every which way, her hair a mass that was delicately strewn about. Shinji stood at the end of the couch, looking down. Asuka had her delicate mouth open ever so slightly, breathing through it rather than through her nose.

The way the light from the TV played across the contours of her face made Shinji stare. The shadows that danced on her cheeks, on her nose, on her forehead, on her lips—they were like fairies dancing in a deep, sacred forest. They had their own will, and they chose to capture Shinji with their seductive movements. They told him to draw closer, to get a better look—he did so. They told him to watch as they made this human girl alive with shadowed beauty—he did so. Now that the light was created the same fairies on his face, they told him to join with Asuka so that all the shadows may be together in one dance.

He didn't quite understand what the fairies were telling him—how does one join with another person?

Ah, but of course! Shinji understood.

Butterflies tumbled about in his stomach as he bent further towards Asuka's face, ready to join with her. He licked his dry lips nervously, not wanting to disappoint the fairies—they expected him to do a good job so that they would all be joined in dance, and would not take failure as an answer.

The butterflies knocked against the inside of him, threatening to break loose as he loomed over the sleeping girl. He hesitated for several moments, his own will battling the will of the fairies. He knew that Asuka would be angry with him if she woke up with him kissing her; what was more important, though, was that he just wasn't ready to do this kind of thing on his own initiative. But then the fairies were pooling their power in to one, massive force that was slowly but surely beating away his will.

As the war raged on, Asuka stirred. She turned her head as she slept, a whimper of panic and fear escaping her throat. That simple call for help stopped the battle right out, freezing both warring factions in their places, as well as culling the butterfly army inside of him.

Shinji walked around the edge of the couch to kneel next to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder, gently pushing to wake her up. After a few tries, her eyelids snapped open in surprise, her eyes searching for what had woken her. She saw Shinji and smiled.

"I was having a bad dream, leibchen. Thank you for waking me," she said.

"You too, huh? I just got up to get a drink after having a nightmare, and I heard you…whimpering."

A worried look flashed across her face. "Oh, poor baby. You had a nightmare?"

"Yeah," he said, lowering his head. "It was the first one I've had in a while." He shivered remembering the glowing eyes of the Eva.

Asuka cupped his cheek. "Why don't you go get a blanket and come lay with me. Then you can tell me all about it, 'k?"

He nodded a small amount as the butterflies resurrected the revolution within him. They were more determined to break free, now, and he could barely keep them in check. Walking to his room to grab the comforter off of his bed, he tried to get a grip on the situation.

_She just wants me to tell her about my nightmare, nothing else. She wouldn't try anything, would she?_ Shinji got to his room and stood in the darkness for a moment, panicking. _But we're the only ones here, and we'll be lying together under a blanket! What if she turns off the TV? Then it'll be completely dark in there! Oh God, this isn't good. This isn't good at all!_ He tugged at a corner of the comforter, forcing it to give up its home on top of the bed. _No no no, not good, not good. What do I do, what do I do? Argh! If I were Kaji, then I'd know what to do!_

"God damnit," he said to the darkness. This was all he could think of to say, this small curse upon his own lack of knowledge in the ways of women, at his confusion, and at his cowardice. Those two words summed up the torrent of feelings inundating his mind sufficiently, even if they were only uttered to release those mixed emotions.

One thing was outstandingly clear though—Asuka wanted to be with him.

The full force of understanding slammed into his mind. Shinji staggered backwards, drew a shuddering breath, steadied himself on the wall. Fear replaced everything that had been swirling inside him moments earlier, fear that covered his mind with the shadow of self-doubt.

He'd never been wanted by anyone. Ever since his father had abandoned him, no one had ever shown the slightest interest in him, unless they were going to use him—like his father was doing now.

But Asuka…

She really did want to be with him. She wanted to lay with him, wanted to share her body warmth, wanted to share the air she breathed, the space she occupied—she wanted to share her very existence with him!

_No…no! I-I don't deserve this. I-I'm sneaky, and a coward, and a wimp!_ Shinji insulted himself over and over in his mind, trying desperately to escape this new, alien situation. His defense mechanisms were well in place at this point in his scared, lonely life, and they were in full effect now.

Tugging the comforter close, teeth bared and jaws clenched, he brought his knees to his chest and sat on his heels. Rocking back and forth slightly, he panicked. Images, ideas, thoughts, passions, wants, fears, wishes, and memories all ran through his frazzled mind at once. Nothing made sense—the understanding that was supposed to be there had stripped naked and was now in the process of cursing up a storm.

The panic was everything. The surrounding air pressed downward, suffocating him. The pressure solidified into a sphere of blades, points aiming straight for his body. They grew closer, threatening to pierce his pitiful, fragile human form as he huddled by himself in the darkness.

But then…

"Shinji-baby," came forth from the living room, "what's taking so long?"

A sweet, cool balm washed over the cowering child. It sucked out the poison of fear, took it into itself, destroyed it. Shinji stopped rocking, relaxed his tense muscles and opened his eyes to the dark. He felt…good, felt content, felt excited.

What is this? Within seconds, the boy went from being paralyzed with fear to feeling like he belonged here and now, and nowhere else. This was his time, and he was the master of it; this was his place, and his rule was absolute. He had control—immaculate and undeniable control.

Yet…how could this be? Hearing Asuka's voice, a smooth salve of melodious comfort, had transformed every negative emotion in Shinji's body into a riot of wonderfully addictive, positive emotions. No longer did he cower, shrouded in the cloak of Nocturne. Risen above the dread, Shinji now stood gripping the comforter—not with anxiety, but with newfound happiness.

"I'll be right there, Asuka-baby," he said, imitating her with a grin. With a spring in his step, he returned to his girl.

"Come on," she whined as he stood smiling in the doorway. "I'm freezing here!"

"Well then," Shinji said, dropping the tone of his voice to sound manly, "that's no good, is it?" He flung the comforter around his own shoulders in a flourish as he moved to share his warmth with Asuka.

An idea. "Asuka, why don't you get up for a second?"

"Why? What are you gonna do?"

"C'mon, just get up. Pleeaase?"

With a huff, she obeyed and stood. Shinji took the comforter from his shoulders and gave it to her, then dropped down to his new spot on the couch. After positioning himself appropriately—on his side right up against the cushions—he beckoned Asuka to lay down with him.

She smiled slyly, a glint in her eyes. She saw the way he was laying. She knew how he wanted her to position herself. Excited that Shinji wasn't being as timid and self-conscious as he usually was, she threw the comforter over him, then snuggled herself into place.

She faced away from him, her cushy backside pressed against his pelvic area. She knew he'd planned this, and was rather…aroused by his cunning, not to mention his obvious want for her to be close.

Shinji started talking about his nightmare, as she had asked earlier, though Asuka was surprised that he had actually went back to the subject when much more…interesting things could have been spoken of, or even acted upon.

She listened carefully, knowing that it wasn't every day that Shinji opened up like this. As he finished his tale, the feeling that had been slowly growing in her reached its peak.

She felt compassion.

She also thought that Shinji was the cutest boy she'd ever seen. She didn't say anything about it, but at that moment, she felt that she was doing something right, something that mattered.

Several hours passed before the two finally went to sleep. They had spent the time talking of dreams, of alternate realities, of other lives they could have led, of school, of their classmates, of NERV. Meaningless chatter to some, but serious, heart-to-heart conversation to the couple lying on the couch together.

They decided that since Misato hadn't come home yet—she must have been out drinking again—they would simply sleep with each other on the couch. Asuka had suggested the idea and it didn't faze Shinji at all. She worried about what she has said for a few minutes in the silence, wondering if he had thought she meant that they should have sex. Her fears were belayed after she heard and felt Shinji slow his breathing, falling into a deep slumber. Asuka went to sleep with a growing sense of belonging in her heart.

**A/N: Impressive, huh? Three months in the making, my friends. I apologize for not updating earlier, but I had way too much crap to do (school, work, etc.).**

**First off, this isn't the whole chapter, as you might have guessed with the "Part 1" tagged on the end. I originally wanted to end the story with three chapters, but that would make this chapter alone over 30k words, which is a bit ridiculous. Thus, I present to ye the first part of the first ending chapter.**

**Secondly, if you'll notice that Shinji sucks at typing, I'll have you know that that was intentional, and it's not just me forgetting to edit the story.**

**Thirdly, the title of this chapter basically means "now I know what love is." This is pretty ironic considering almost no one in the entire story knows what love is, especially not Shinji and Asuka. The German, however, seems to act like she knows all about it, and Shinji just kind of follows along. Naivete for great justice, eh?**

**Lastly, considering Shinji "hearing" the dusky light speak / Shinji feeling that his words were not his own: What does this show, exactly? Well, it shows that Shinji is becoming attuned to things such as Fate, and thus is raised above the rest of the mortal beings that inhabit the world. Having been spoken to by the omniscient and all-powerful Fate, Shinji could be considered a demi-god or something equally cool, right?**

**Anyway, the second part of Nunc Scio Quid Sit Amor should be out in a few weeks if I get my act together (which I probably will), so be sure to look out for it.**


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